Amazon.com

The couple's first anniversary of wedded jungle bliss is approaching and Jane ponders what gift would be appropriate--necessitating three flashbacks from the Disney television series explaining why various celebrations are out of the question. First Jane remembers when her old British school chums came to rescue her from the bush and whisk her back to civilization. Then Terk and Tantor help her recall the time diamond miners hired Tarzan only to double-cross him. The final remembrance features Jane's old neighbor Robert who flies to Africa to recover a music box he gave her--and to betray England. Michael T. Weiss and Olivia D'Abo do the honors as the voices of Tarzan and Jane, and Mandy Moore and Phil Collins provide the vocals for two new songs. Like many of Disney's straight-to-video "sequels," the animation and story aren't up to on par with the original,; but the kids won't care. Ages 3 and up. --Kimberly Heinrichs ... Read more

Reviews (38)

A cute follow up to orginal movie
I bought this for my three year old daughter because I am a sucker for Disney movies. By the time I decide I want a particular Disney movie they take it off the market so now I pretty much buy what ever they dish out which seems to be at the rate of once a month. I figure even a bad Disney movie is still better than most of the cartoons out there. I didn't have extremely high expectations for this movie but it was actually better than I thought it would be. I had a few chuckle moments watching it. My daughter liked it enough to watch it for stretches at a time. The story centers on Tarzan and Jane's one year anniversary. As Jane tries to think of what would be the best gift for Tarzan, she and the other characters remember incidents over the past year. My favorite was when Jane's friends came to visit her from England. There was definitly some adult humor as the riends admired Tarzan's body. The rest of the movie was basically Tarzan rescuing Jane from one dire predicament or another. I thought the scenes where Jane's ex boyfriend comes to visit were a little on the viloent side for a Disney movie. There is an intense airplane fight in the air with gunfire and the ex boyfrind aims a gun at Tarzan and Jane. I thought Disney movies were supposed to be on the less violent side. I think little girls will like the scenes with Jane and the animals but I think that some of the action sequences were geared more towards older kids mainly boys who would like movies such as Atlantis. Despite the shortcommings of the movie it was still nice to catch up and visit with Tarzan and Jane. I didn't think too much of the bonus activities on the dvd. I tried to do the build your own treehouse but was told that I wasn't very good at it by Jane's dad. It seemed boring anyway. The bit with Mandy Moore talking about her song was really annoying. Mandy has this to say about her song "I don't have to be Mandy Moore when I sing. I can I be a Disney Character, it's so liberating" or some shmaltz like that. If you can sit through it without wanting to toss your cookies more power to you.

Tarzan & Jane
Well I just wanted to clear up that Tarzan & Jane, contrary to popular belief IS NOT 3 of the TV show "The Legend of Tarzan" episodes. Believe me on that (I watch that show nearly every morning, most of the extra characters are on the show, though). Well, on to the movie itself! The animation isn't stupendous, but it's alright. I didn't really like the idea that there was 3 stories instead of 1 whole movie but , this is MUCH better than that awful Cinderella II ... The stories themselves weren't bad. My pesonal favorite was the lava one. The music was fine, and catchy. I normally hate Mandy Moore (because I'm an Anti-Pop-ist!) but I liked her song "Singing to the Song of Life". There are funny parts too, most of which are Terk's doing. Well all-in-all Tarzan & Jane is pretty good movie (the DVD games are cool, too). Anybody who liked the movie Tarzan should at least watch Tarzan & Jane to see how they like it. And anyone who likes "The Legend of Tarzan" show won't be disappointed.

Horrible, Horrible, Horrible. . . .
Pass on this silly sequel! Stories are nonsense, returning characters are nothing like the original movie version, and Tarzan comes across as supremely stupid. I loved the first Tarzan cartoon from Disney, but the makers of this film seem totally lost and unable to find even a smidgen of the charm or adventure found in the original movie.

Its nothing like the Disney Tarzan movie
It's just for kids. If you are looking for a continuation of the Tarzan movie you may not like this. We bought the original Disney Tarzan animated movie for our kids. The original is great. What this is is three cartoon episodes from the Disney Tarzan television program. The action animation is not nearly as good as in the movie (e.g., the physics of the swinging through the jungle is poor). The plots are terrible/slow/painful. For example, Jane's ditzy girl friends come from London and get chased all day by panthers that never get around to eating them, despite endless chances. It also contains much more gratutious violence. Having said all that, much to my chagrin, my four year-old seems to like it as well as well as she did the full length animation; thus the third star.

Well, it was O.K., But not the same old Tarzan...
Well, I saw the first movie and I loved it! One of my favorite movies ever! So when this movie came out, Tarzan & Jane, I thought of renting it, so I did. I was so disapointed! I turned the movie off about 5 minutes into the movie. Very poor animation, like cartoon animation. Their voices are way off coarse (exept Tantor's) and Jane is not as charming as she was in the first movie. This movie was okay...It's just...not the good 'ol Disney I expected. How could you, Disney?! >:(
(P.S. The shadows of the leaves on evey character was really annoying) ;) ... Read more

Reviews (12)

definately a chick movie,but has a lot of laughs
This is definately a chick movie,but has alot of laughs with an ensemble cast of very talented ladies.This movie has alot of talk between women about sex,personal fantasy and turn ons. Its not the kind of thing that men would hear women talk about(very enlightening,it seems women talk about sex even more than men do). I still suggest this video for men because there is alot of eye candy:Kim Cattrail in a g-string teddy and Olivia d'abo in a lesbian fantasy scene along with Dana DeLany in a fantasy spanking scene and Cynthia Stevenson running around in her underwear. This movie is aimed at women but is really ok for guys too.

Aside from the chatting and talking...this is damn sexy!!!
It is not often us men are allowed to peer into the conversations of the human female. What do women talk about all day? Better yet what do really HOT women talk about all day? If this movie truly portrays such a thing, then women talk about sex just as much as men do. They don't necessarily THINK about it, but I guess if you're talking about it that necessitates that they think about it too. Anyways, yes the movie is entitled LIVE NUDE GIRLS, and yes all the leading ladies in this movie ARE in fact nude in this movie. Men, especially myself find this movie very compelling to watch as it has the unbelieveably HOT Dana Delany in it, as sexy as ever. It also includes the equally hot Kim Catrall. They sit around in their house, talk about problems, sexual fantasies, and even have a sweet discussion with their gay pool cleaner. This film should not be considered a talkie as it has sexual content and more sexual content. Not that I mind, I always wanted to see Dana Delany get a spanking while wearing garters and stockings. The bottom line is even though the movie is practically nothing BUT sex, it's good for both the Male and Female perspective so maybe we can understand each others minds a little better... What the hell am I saying??? You're only going to see it for the sex anyway!!!

format warning
A nice film at a nice price, but, for those who care, the box is labelled: formatted from its original version to fit your screen (an amazingly presumptious statement in an era of widescreen video systems). The DVD is 4:3. If this really is a pan & scan reformatting, then shame on Lion's Gate (which has a good reputation) for acceding to it. And if it was originally 4:3, why include the reformatting statement? I wish Amazon would be a little more assiduous in providing this kind of info (aspect ratio, case, cast) for pre-ordering; it used to be.

strange title of a movie
this one has a strange title and I thought at first it was a porno or something but then I saw Glenn Quinn in the mix and I was like, cool, Glenn Quinn sparked some spazazz in this one. and its a comedy. the leading ladies are excellent as always.

Saucy and Feel-Good
The real razzle-dazzle is in the dialogue. Subtle, sassy, wonderful chemistry between the women. Pay attention to catch all those inside-jokes and jibes. This isn't a tear-jerker or a white-knuckler, but the sparkling dialogue and endearing characters make this a film to collect. That is, if you like a good chick-flick considering a panoply of sexual topics! Thumbs up to all the fantasy scenes, especially the one between zane and d'abo. Effervescent and sexy. ... Read more

Reviews (9)

Booklet Missing
In response to the last reviewer, I did not get anything in the lefthand sleeve either. I bought this set and there was no booklet in the lefthand side, though there was a sleeve for it. I brought it back for another one, and the replacement had no booklet either. Did the company producing this DVD change their minds about putting something in the sleeve, or did I get two bum copies in a row? The one star rating is because of the negligent packaging...the movies were fine.

Does it come with a booklet?
I have liked the movies since they came out, but I agree that the dvds could have been remastered with better sound and widescreening. I guess these will do for now given the decent bundled pricing. One quick question. Did anyone receive a booklet in the left sleeve of this set? There's an empty pocket in mine and it seemed weird. Is it just packaging or should I bother to return for a replacement? Thanks for any help from the Conan experts!

Classic Fantasy
Conan: The Barbarian is a classic fantasy film and probably the best fantasy film besides the LOTR series of movies. Sure the second Conan movie, Conan: The Destroyer, isn't as good as the first but who cares when you are getting both for only $15. Pick this DVD up just for the first one and you may be pleasantly surprised to find that you enjoy the second one too, after all it's not as bad as people make it out to be.

I can't wait for the new movie, Conan goes to Nease
This is an excellent example of American movie making and the general intellect of the country. We should be proud! Of course, with Arnold busy these days, the new movie, Conan Goes To Nease, will star Buff Biondom who really gives Arnold a run for his money... especially when he lifts an entire portable building (complete with a ramp for the disabled) and crushes a statue of Ponce DeLeon, four and a half miles away. Co starring Scott Bebe, as the dreaded nemesis, the Borester, whose very voice puts people into a coma. Sadly (or gladly), in the final scene, Conan 's daughter wipes out an entire herd of deer and KNF dies - pass the corn.

Mono sound?
Upon receipt and inspection of the package, it appears both of these movies are presented in 2.0 mono sound. WTF?

After researching (just now, between these two sentences) it would appear the new special edition of Barbarian is also in mono (someone said it was 1.0 mono)... hrm. That is too bad. You would think they would be able to make a decent sound package for this since they went through the trouble to fix up the visual clarity.

Anyway, I'm giving this 4 stars just because it is frickin Conan and Conan ROCKS! All it needs is an improved sound suite and it would be at 5 stars. ... Read more

Reviews (17)

Michael Vartan....WOW!
I can't get enough of this guy! Why he doesn't get more work I'll never know. The scene in the park, when both have eyes closed and he says "Come with me" and takes her hand.....I melted like ice cream on a hot day! Takes me back to my favorite scene in "Moonstruck" during the opera. The only reason I didn't give it 5 stars is I felt it needed a "love scene." Don't shoot me, it's just an opinion, okay? Besides, it would have given me a chance to see Vartan with his shirt off! Final words: it ended with my favorite song! If you've ever been in love, you HAVE to see this movie.

Kinda Cheesy
I thought the movie had a good plot, but the writing was terrible! It was totally unrealistic - they meet and fall in love in like 2 days...i know its supposed to be "love at first sight" but they both don't get married because of some person they met over the weekend. The only reason to see it is because MICHAEL VARTAN is in it. Overall, if you have nothing else to watch, watch it. but don't watch this instead of another movie

Surprisingly Bad
This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It is almost in the so-bad-it's-good category. It's not that it's offensive (unless you're offended by a flimsy plot and ridiculously bad dialogue), it's just that it's a waste of time. (I am, however, surprised by viewers who hailed it as a wonderful family-friendly movie, because it has enough adult themes and dialogue that I do not think it appropriate for children. Of course, when I say adult, I do not mean in the sense of mature and intelligent.)

I looked it up here on Amazon after renting it, thinking I should have looked here first because it would probably have lots of negative comments. While it does have some, I was surprised to find some positive comments as well, so I thought I should add my opinion to help warn others away from this movie.

I should also add that I am not a movie snob. I have enjoyed many a brainless romantic comedy. But this brainless romantic comedy is completely unenjoyable.

Really disappointing
Being a die hard fan of ALIAS and Michael Vartan, I was on the search for any Michael Vartan movies, and stumbled upon this. To be honest I was quite disappointed in this movie. The script is so old and has nothing new to offer. The only redeeming quality was Micheal Vartan and even he couldn't carry this movie. He had nothing to play off of and it clearly showed since the movie went straight to video... So I would say skip it, unless you are a huge, I mean HUGE fan of Michael Vartan and just want to see him for an hour an half.

Better than expected
I just rented this for 99cents, expecting this to be some corny, silly movie, probably with people lying or deceiving one another (which is so common in movies lately)in order to fall in love, yet I was so surprised to find a very sweet, serious, romantic movie - not alot of comedy, but that was fine. I thought the characters were great - their personalities fit there actions - it wasn't a "You've got Mail" but I don't think they were going for the "Romantic Comedy" necessarily. Just a clean, sweet, honest movie. I really appreciated that they got together without dishonesty. Oh, yes, it had two love stories in it -- that even made it better!! I loved it... enuf to buy it!!! I think I like it equally as much as "You've Got Mail." ... Read more

Description

"Bridget Fonda is pure dynamite" (WWOR-TV) as a murderous misfit reprogrammed as a high-tech assassin. Gabriel Byrne and Anne Bancroft co-star in "one of the top thrillers of the year" (ABC Radio Network). Year: 1993 Director: John Badham Starring: Bridget Fonda, Gabriel Byrne, Dermot Mulroney ... Read more

Amazon.com

The best thing about this misguided 1994 comedy is the performance of Kirk Douglas as a feisty old scrap-metal millionaire named Joe whose venal family is out to get his fortune. Douglas had scored a modest hit with BurtLancaster in the 1986 buddy comedy Tough Guys, but this was the veteran actor's chance for a late-careercomeback--and his last major movie role before he was temporarily sidelined by a stroke in 1995. Douglas is quitefunny here, playing an old codger who keeps frustrating his greedy relatives by refusing to die. Instead he threatens towill his fortune to his sexy "nurse" (Olivia D'Abo), and the scheming family reacts by finding a long-lost nephewnamed Daniel (Michael J. Fox), who is the only relative that Uncle Joe remembers with any fondness. The ideais that Joe will warm up to his welcomed nephew and will him his fortune--but of course this only makes the old manmore crotchety and protective of his money. The movie's got a strong supporting cast including Ed Begley Jr. and thelate Phil Hartman, but director Jonathan Lynn (who also plays Douglas's butler) fails to maintain a steady pace and themovie's cynical humor gradually wears out its welcome. Along the way, however, Fox keeps up a lively rapport withDouglas, who's obviously enjoying himself in a role that lets him cut loose with plenty of saucy and savvy attitude.--Jeff Shannon ... Read more

Reviews (9)

Hilarious Comedy about Manipulation
If your great uncle Joe is a filthy rich yet stubborn millionaire with a good chance of keeling over, would you brown nose and back stab to get a shot at his inheritance? Director Jonathan Lynn toys with this very idea througout this extremely funny film with hilarious results and surprise after surprise.

It's uncle Joe's 75th birthday, and his rotten relatives fight each other to earn the slightest ounce of respect from him. But Uncle Joe surprises them all with the arrival of a sexy young English nurse. Highly suspicious of this woman's intentions, the relatives enlist the help of their cousin Danny (Michael J. Fox) who had always been in Uncle Joe's good favor over the years. While secretly jealous of the favoritism their uncle exhibits towards Danny, they realize he's their only hope in keeping the family fortune within the family. Danny reluctantly agrees to help his greedy cousins only if it benefits Uncle Joe's welfare. But slowly, he too becomes tempted by wealth, and like the rest, falls prey to Uncle Joe's crafty game of manipulation. In the end, who will rise above the rest in Uncle Joe's complex test?

Absolutley hilarious with many laugh out loud moments. You don't want to miss it.

Brilliant Comedy
Completely hilarious and clever script. Great performances from a star-studded cast. Watch for the director in the movie. He's the butler. A great story about family and the human condition tempted by greed and manipulation. Who's fooling who? You'll be kept guessing all the way to the end.

Worth the laughs. Highly recommended.

One of the BEST comedies to rent or own!!
From two great writers who worked on "Happy Days," it is safe to say that this film is one of the greatest comedies of the decade. It is a tad predictable, but beyond that it has a lively script and well cast performers. Great players gave great performances. This is clearly a comedy which also hit the right dramatic notes. Parts of the movie are emotional and believable. Any Mike J. Fox or Phil Hartman fan should see this. Kirk Douglas was a hoot. Nancy Travis as the lead actress was dead on. Her character was full of wit and charm, despite a bad hair day. Watch for strong performances by all.

Outstanding comedic acheivement!
This picture reminds me of the movie Greedy. It's a real funny movie and I laughted at all the real funny jokes. If you like really funny movies, then this one will make you laugh alot. Michael J. Fox is really great in his role and I think he is about the funniest actor. All the others actors are funny too, except it's sad that Phil Hartman got killed, that's not very good. I think if you like to laugh and have fun, then this movie is absolutely too funny for words. Go see it for yourself. I don't think some movies are quite as funny as this one though. Joshua

Phil Hartman is a Standout.... as is most of the cast.
An above average comedy made three times as good by one of the best casts ever. Michael J Fox stars as the only nice member of a family waiting for a rich relative to die. Kurt Douglas, Nancy Travis and Ed Begley Jr are just some of the hilarious cast. My absolute favourite scene is the brawl between Michael and Phil, but the film is full of unforgetable scenes. See it for yourself. ... Read more

Reviews (15)

Just an all around fun movie to watch
I own 'The Big Green' on VHS and it's a great movie. It's about this really small town with nothing to do (they don't even have a pizza hut!) called Emma, Texas where the 'big kids' are used to taking the 'laid-back' approach on school. All of them at the begining have bad attitudes toward their new teacher Ms. Mountgumry (i know thats spelled wrong) a young teacher from England that tries to inspire and modivate the kids but at the begining doesn't have very much luck.

While trying to teach Geography Ms. M decides to try to get the kids attention by breaking the globe on her desk and begin to do a soccer 'trick' the kids are very impressed and this begins the story line for the rest of the movie. She decides to form a soccer team with Sheiff Tom helping her couch (but at first the only reason he's there is because he's smitten with Ms. M) although the kids hate the idea.

Ridicously they have their first game against an all-wining but snotty team 'the knights' with an a hole for a couch (couch Jay) who takes an interest in Ms. M. and grew up with Sheiff Tom and constantly puts him down.

Of course, they get slaughtered and humiliated. After this the kids are ready to forget the whole thing.

But Sheiff Tom and Ms. M pushes them to keep trying, they get their team name 'The Big Green' and keep trying even though they still suck.

Their luck changes when the new kid in town and in class Duan moves with his mother and although he's very quiet and they tease him in class at first they come to find out he's an extrodinary talent in Soccer. After begging his mother to let him on the team, he's on the team and they start getting better more encouraged and start winning games.

Everythings good until a family situation threatens to drive Duan out of town with his mom right before the final game against the team that slaughtered them before, The Knights.

(Ms. M and Knights Couch Jay makes a bet that if the knights win Ms. M will kiss him, but if The Big Green wins he has to kiss their mascot ernie *a painted green goat*)

it's a funny and sometimes touching ride that I recommend watch when your relaxing at home and need something to watch. It's for all ages something you can watch with your family or even by yourself.

I thought it was good enough
This movie is pretty good, but I think it was so typical, theres a lot of movies about kids who cant play a sport and it has that red headed kid who is in like every kids movie! anyway its about young kids who cant play soccer and dont know the first thing about it. Ya might like this if you like the movies Swiching Goals and Ladybugs.

Classic in My Eyes
Yes, it seems like you're typical storyline, but it's told with so much more enthusiasm and the actors are much more realistic than the other 'oh they can't play but by the end they're champs'. It also is set in a small-town, however most that I've seen are in big cities. This is just a classic-the acting is superb, and the kids' are just to adorable, especially the little boy. One thing that is typical; the overweight kid
plays the barely-as-to-move position.

A great movie rain or shine
The Big Green is the story of some bored kids in a dying town named Elma. And a sheriff who hates the kids, calls them midgets. And they call him Deupty Dawg. One day some kids decided to go out in the field at thier school to feed the birds. But then thier new teacher (even though they don't know it yet) sees them and thinks they are in trouble, and chases the birds away with the hose casuing the kids to get wet. Her name is Anna Montgomery (Oliva d'Abo) and she will be teaching the big kids for the first half of the school year.

a so-so movie
It was funny and a overall good movie, but it was really not that good. It was just a avrege movie. But its a good overall rainy day movie. Or a lazy day movie. ... Read more

Amazon.com

With so many romantic comedies revolving around eternally adolescent men with self-centered philosophies and terminal commitment problems, it's kind of nice to see one of them take stock of himself. Tim Daly, a chef with unconventional methods (try his dishwasher fish), embarks on a quest through past loves with sincere questions about why things didn't work out. Boyish Daly is charming as the rogue romantic, and his tour through broken affairs gives some fine actresses comic-showcase scenes--Jamie Gertz, Laura Leighton, Elizabeth Peña, Mimi Rogers, and Katy Selverstone among them. Olivia d'Abo is his current flame, a would-be psychic restaurateur who sets out after him, and Melora Hardin is an old gal pal who just may be his best chance at a fresh start. This isn't quite the High Fidelity thing--Daly's quest is a well-meaning attempt at personal growth, not a sour tour of self-justification--but then this is hardly as ambitious or revealing. He doesn't learn anything that a little serious self-examination would reveal just as well, but that's beside the point. It's a warm and winning little comedy about growing up, letting go, and opening up, with deftly played comedy and generous performances. --Sean Axmaker ... Read more

Reviews (8)

First introspection, then transcendance
Tim Daly's understated, warm, charming, womanizing veneer shines through in this richly entertaining indie. Paul Lazarus, director of many memorable "Friends" and "Mad About You" episodes, tackles his first feature film here, yet it never really feels like a TV movie. Although his tearful outburst on Mimi Rogers' doorstep was a bit painful to watch, few of Daly's acting limitations come to the surface in "Seven Girlfriends," partly because it's the perfect role for him. But, the real stars are the women he "revisits" on his path of self-discovery. First stop is his first girlfriend, played by Rogers, and all things are not as they first appear. As the uncomfortable discussion unfolds, you really begin to feel for the characters and the movie hooks you. I am a huge fan of "High Fidelity" and comparisons seem almost inevitable, but this film is not the same. It is far from acerbic, but far from sweet, too. My guess is that more guys can relate to Daly's understated charmer than to John Cusack's brooding slacker. Though "Girlfriends" is hardly brilliant like "Fidelity," it's still a nicely told little tale of soul-searching. While the story almost begs to be nothing more than a nonstop collection of cliches, the skillful dialogue and actors keep that from happening. I think that's what I like most about "Seven Girlfriends" - during my entire first viewing, I kept thinking I shouldn't like this movie, since it's not exactly loaded with original ideas, yet everything is executed here with a realistic, understated elegance that I just didn't expect. I'd call it a "guilty pleasure," but it deserves to be more. NOTE TO MOVIE BUFFS: The DVD has some interesting commentary by Daly and Lazarus that brings to light many interesting problems in making a low-budget movie.

Excellent movie!
I first saw Seven Girlfriends on HBO late at night while on a business trip - then rented it to watch with my wife as soon as I got home. Even better the 2nd time. A very funny yet insightful movie about relationships and why they work and why they don't.

The coolest thing was - about 1/2 through the movie, Melora Hardin and Tim Daly sit down at the piano and Melora plays and sings - no unseen strings or flutes or harps in the background - just Melora, the piano, and her wonderful voice. Absolutely a top-10 of all time scene in a movie - dynamite.

One of the best "Who am I?" movies to come out in a while.
We all know the drill. Person reaches time in his lifer where he must ponder on what goes wrong with his relations. That is where the commonality with other such movies stops. There are full rounded personalities and nothing weird with the exception of his imagination. The seven-girlfriend thing allows for different scenarios of which is relived in retrospect.

Each actor does not overwhelm the part with his or her personality. Yet their style is still recognizable. This adds another diminution to the movie. You do not see Elizabeth Peña much lately.

Going throughout the process is fun to watch and we may learn a little something ourselves. We may also learn a little bit about the object/s of his affection.

A winner, suitable for both of you
Paul Lazarus has brought together an outstanding ensemble of actors and given them three-dimensional characters and crisp dialog to work with, creating a film that feels like it's filled with your own friends and acquaintances. Spend an afternoon or evening with it, and you'll want your own copy so you can see it again with a friend.

Not Casablanca, but a nice little movie...
This movie list will never make an AFI list, but it is charming. The story of a man who is dumped and loses his greatest love (2 different women) within a few minutes, prompts our "hero" to hit the road and meet his exes and learn where he failed. Shades of High Fidelity, but a very different little film--it is not profound or wickedly funny. It is kind, sweet, and gentle. Sure, you can see how the story will turn out, but the journey is a nice way to spend 100 minutes.

Tim Daly, an actor I've never loved,(some one in America watched Wings for 8 seasons--not me) does a great job as Jesse. He is flawed but decent guy who you can't help but root for. I adored the cast, some biggish names, and many not so big, but faces you will remember. Laura Leighton is the true love and she shines. She is beautiful and makes you wonder where she has been (it seems she had child recently). The cast features nice and warm performances from Mimi Rogers, Lindsay Sloane (in the worst writen role in the movie--she is a much better actress than allowed to be here), Elizabeth Pena, Katy Selverstone (she has been Drew Carey), Jami Gertz (who is always a pleasure). Olivia D'Abo does a decent job (but continues her string mediocore films--will Kicking and Screaming be her high point? That outstadning film just might be). Arye Gross is solid as Roman, the best friend. Gross never hit it big, but fits his role well.

My favorite performance is by Melora Hardin. I recognize her from many things, but then looking at the filmography, I see movies like Labamda which I've never seen. No matter. She steals the film. The scene she shares with Daly at her apartment is gentle and sweet. Paul Lazarus, director, should have done more with this talented actress. You can't help but fall in love with her when she sings. I hope her career takes off. She deserves it.

Enjoy this little movie. It is sweet. Share it with someone you love or to give you a bit of hope if you are alone. ... Read more

Reviews (3)

Luke Perry keeps movie going...
Another film from the folks at City Heat Productions, the best DTV company ever. This one stars the very likable Luke Perry and the immensly pretty Olivia D'Abo. I think it was about bio-terrorists capturing Perry's father, but much of the plot didn't seem to matter. The action is surprisingly good for direct-to-video fare and the script thankfully strays away from getting too ludicrous. Fans of Perry and/or D'Abo or possibly Roger Moore will most likely enjoy this film. Those looking for a cool climactic shootout might also want to check out this film. There's much here to enjoy.

Yeah Perry!
More Perry once again. He comes through with yet another mind blowing action packed flick. I give props to the man who wrote the other review, for he understood the acting prowles of Mr. Luke Perry. This is B action at it's best. You've got Perry and Karren Arnold from the Wonder years as a duo trying to save Perry's crazy old man from some Russian maniac tuff guys. I'm not gonna give away the ending cause you've gotta see it. Rent it or buy it, throw another quarter in Perry's half empty cup. Yeah the Donny Mac himself was really impressed by this one, Perry showed what an action movie is all about. He astounding whispering and tuff guy attitude was too much for words, he in himself is a work of art. Anyone who doesn't give it up to Perry after this one is a pompus maniac. If the Acedemy only knew, this man would need a barrel to put all his Oscars in. Alright kids hang tight, old Donny boy will be back real soon. Remember all you young cats out there; there are no bad movies, just bad movie watchers.

Hey it's much better than I thought.
"The Enemy" was surprisingly enjoyable to me. The cast was cool and the plot was good (dealing with a somewhat up-to-date terror of biochemical weapons). It was nice to find Horst Buchholz (The Magnificent Seven) still handsome after long years. Olivia d'Abo (Conan the Destroyer) undoubtedly put on some weight but remained a feast to the eyes (especially in the steaming albeit short love scene). Luke Perry was adorable and smart. Add up Roger Moore if you don't expect as much from him as in a James Bond thriller. This movie deserves 4 stars compared to several big budgeted thrillers that got people so hyped up first then disappointed later. ... Read more

Reviews (5)

High camp, high class horses
Bo Derek plays Lida "Mac" MacGillivery, a virginal, nicely-bronzed, buff blonde in the roaring 1920s who's desperate to lose her virginity. Fortified with bags of cash, her trusty chauffer (George Kennedy), her best friend (Ana Obregon), a skimpy wardrobe and a healthy libido, Mac sets off for the hot desert nights of Arabia where she begins her erotic odyssey. She meets an opium-soaked sheik, a gyrating gypsy, and a lovely Latino bullfighter, but it's horses that win her heart as she rides bareback (in every sense of the word) on some of the most stunning Spanish horses you will ever see on film.

Staci Layne Wilson
Author of Staci's Guide to Animal Movies

GREAT HORSES!!!!
Movie is horrible but horses are FABULOUS!This is some of the best footage of the fabled Andalusian Horses I've ever seen - if there's more out there somebody please let me know!Bought the movie just to see the horses.

Mostly Bull, Lots of BO!
Lovely Bo Derek embarks on an awkward, sensual quest to lose her virginity in the roaring 20's.Armed with a huge inheritence, her trusty chauffer (George Kennedy), an adventurous college friend (Ana Obregon), an extravagant wardrobe and a seemingly endless supply of black eyeliner, Mac (Bo) travels around Europe looking for a sheik like Rudolph Valentino. Director John Derek, once again, focuses more on his wife's magnificent beauty than the outrageous story. By this point in her career (1984) we've already seen Bo exhaust the "innocent virgin" role (Fantasies 1974 and Tarzan, the Ape Man 1981). The script is completely ridiculous (which is really o.k. because most of the actors have thick accents that are incomprehensable) but the scenery is gorgeous! Bo tangles with an opium-addicted sheik, a jealous gypsy, and a handsome bullfighter (Andrea Ochinpinti) who wins her heart and her virginity. After he is gored by bull in the privates(!), Bo becomes a bullfighter on horseback and eventually proves that "love conquers all" when it comes to mending a broken, er..heart! Despite the raging controversy that followed this film, the love scenes are all beautifully photographed and not the least bit pornographic. But this IS a Bo Derek film, which means lots of nudity(!!!). For me, the best scene is when Bo fights the bull in the film's slo-motion climax.Her skill as an equestrian and "humane" approach to bullfighting are the most interesting part of this film. Campy and unintentionally funny in some parts, BOLERO is a great choice for a cheesy midnight movie at home. Bo didn't score a "10" with this silly film, but she seems like she had fun making it. You'll never look at "milk and honey" the same way again...

Bo Derek continues her countdown from "10"...
If you have ever seen the movie "10" and not just watched the trailer with the infamous seen of Bo Derek running down the beach with her cornrows bobbing along, then you know that Dudley Moore's fantasy of the perfect woman pops pretty much about the time that Bo's character opens her mouth.That fact pretty much serves as the model for Bo Derek's film career in the early days; she looked great but once she opened her mouth she started losing points.This was amply proven in "Tarzan, the Ape Man," but in case anybody missed the point we have the 1984 film, "Bolero."The film was subtitled "An Adventure in Ecstasy" in an effort to make everyone forget the other part of the title was a take off both on Derek's first name and the music by Ravel revitalized by "10" (fortunately the Olympic Ice Dancing champions Torvill and Dean gave us a much better association).

In "Bolero," Bo plays Lida MacGillivery, a little rich girl graduating from an English boarding school.Her graduation present is going to be the loss of her virginity, so she and her best friend, Catalina (Ana Obregón), go off to the deserts of Arabia, accompanied by her chauffer/bodyguard Cotton (George Kennedy).On the desert sands she meets a sexy sheik (Greg Bensen), who has his chance, but blows it despite all the Valentino references.When Lida has similar problems with a bullfighter in Spain named Angel (Andrea Occhipinti), we get the idea that this girl is going to have to go around the world, so to speak, to get her happy ending.Consequently, "Bolero" is a soft porn flick without the sex. Just think about that for a while and then it should be very clear to you why this is a bomb of major proportions that falls into the "so bad you have to see it to believe it" category instead of the "so bad it is good" column. Maybe director John Derek did this as a way of telling the adolescent males of the world to stop fantazigng about his wife (actually, Olivia d'Abo as Paloma is the sexiest woman in the film).

Today Bo Derek appears on "Seventh Heaven" and she does a nice job of acting while fully dressed (plus I think she is, oh, let's say, 10 times better looking today at 44 than she was at the age of 28).There is redemption in Hollywood and it is good to know that her time in Purgatory for "Bolero" is a thing of the past.

Decent enough for what it sets out for
This is pretty much a vehicle to show off Bo Derek, and it accomplishes that.As an added bonus, there's Olivia d'abo in a nice bathing scene......if you're a fan of either of them then the VHS is worthwile, if not - get something modern, you heathen :-) ... Read more

Description

Gary, a young hustler, finds a kindred spirit in Valentino, a bisexual adult film star to whom Gary is instantly attracted. Standing in their way is Valentino's dedicated girlfriend. They put aside their differences when Valentino is diagnosed with AIDS, creating a makeshift family to mutually love and support him to the tragic end. Stars: Salma Hayek (Frida, Dogma, Once Upon a Time in Mexico), Vincent D’Onofrio (The Cell, Men in Black), Ethan Hawke (Reality Bites, Before Sunrise), Thomas Jayne (Magnolia, Bookie Nights). ... Read more

Reviews (30)

A mesmerizing and brilliant film!
I had been reading mixed reviews on this film so I was pleasantly surprised after I watched it. This is now one of my favorite movies of all time! The characters and story drew me in so deeply that I re-watched it a couple of days later. The story of the charismatic, dying Valentino and his two lovers really moved me. These were people who loved each other in their own way. Even though Gary and Mary Carmen fought all the time, their love for Valentino was enough to keep them together. I found the story to be touching, the dialogue interesting and the actors perfect in their roles.

This is a film that is more understandable if you have known a lot of people who live alternative lifestyles. I've been friends with people in relationships like this and its a very complicated situation. I also enjoyed the strange characters like Kid Joey, the drag queen obsessed with Patsy Cline and Gary. He was so desperate and sad and I wish his character would have been in the movie longer. All these people were different and bizarre yet they all seemed to care about each other. Not to mention there is a really hot kiss between two gorgeous men! The ending was moving to me in that it gave you a sense of optimism for their future. It doesn't necessarily have a happy ending but its a real ending with heart.

Obviously this is a movie that is not for everyone but for those with an open mind, you can become absorbed in this story. This is a rare and beautiful film that will make you stop and think long after its over. I would give it more than five stars if I could!

The one that got away
It's a travesty that this film is not available on DVD. Travesty.

This is the kind of movie that is not what it seems. From the cover jacket, you expect it to be about the harshness of city living, full of darkness and anger and seedy characters, but it's not. It's about three people and a world that most of us (thankfully) haven't experienced in our lives. The three lead characters are: Valentino, a bisexual ex-porn star dying of HIV; Gary* (not his real name), a gay hustler who falls hard for Valentino; and Mary Carmen, Valentino's spitfire girlfriend who is jealous of her lover's relationship with Gary but who has no choice but to share him. The world they inhabit is the underbelly of NYC, but director Dan Ireland never looks down on the characters, nor does he put them on a pedestal. It's a fine balance, but one that is achieved. The result is that it is impossible to watch this film and not feel the affection that Ireland has for the characters and their world, and that transfers to the viewer. It's reminiscent of Boogie Nights, another film set in the world of porn,drugs and hustlers, and a film that also makes you care for its characters and the alternative family they create.

The three leads did amazing work. Vincent D'Onofrio is mesmerizing as the center of the love triangle, a character so full of life even as he's dying that he can't be contained. This was a brave role for the respected character actor, and it deserves to be seen. Salma Hayek turns in another great performance, and one scene in particular, breaks your heart. Valentino is dancing in a club with Gary and Mary Carmen, and when he turns his back on Mary Carmen for a second to bump and grind with Gary, the slow-motion shot of the pain, longing and jealousy in Hayek's eyes will rip your heart out. And Thomas Jane has never been better. For anyone who's only seen his work in Deep Blue Sea and that raunchy Cameron Diaz "comedy", brace yourself for an actor whose potential hasn't been tapped in his subsequent projects.

This film has more than enough heart to spare, and that is what is truly so great about it. It defies expectations and cliches, yet it leaves you feeling renewed and hopeful. I only saw this film this past week, and I can't believe it escaped me before. Don't make the same mistake I did. See Velocity of Gary. It will haunt you, but in a good way.

D'Onofrio also produced the picture with Ireland, along with a previous collaboration called The Whole Wide World, and these two should continue their work together. They've created two wonderfully different films about passion and love and the human condition. And that's something that's sorely lacking in today's cinema.

SLIGHTLY ODD & THAT MAKES IT GREAT
It's not your run of the mill movie with tons of special effects and no story line. This movie has a story, and if you can get past the oddness of it a very touching one. Good performances, cheers to Vincent D-Onofrio. This man is not afraid of any movie role that comes his way, and if you watch this movie you'll see what I mean. He tackled this role all the way!

MÁS DE LO MISMO, PERO DISTINTO
Realmente, esta película trata un viejo tema: el triángulo amoroso. Pero lo hace con una altura, con una calidad y con esa novedad que sólo una buena lectura puede otorgarle a un tema ya gastado una nueva oportunidad. Recomendable. Para ver abrazado a tu pareja.

As bad as it gets.
This movie missed the theaters and went straight to video, and even this fate is too good for it. The acting is terrible, the characterizations are not credible, and the plot developments--the few that there are--- are dull. Selma Hayek plays an absurdly stereotypical "NYC foul-mouthed Latin Chick," the sort of role that used to be pushed on Rosie Perez.

This picture pretends to treat homo and hetero relationships evenhandedly, but the homo component is really a bit of "spice" put in to underscore how far out of the mainstream these characters are. The hetero relationship is the only one that is explored in any depth, and that depth is minimal. ... Read more

Amazon.com

The Southern-gothic psychodrama of old secrets, longtime rivalries, and ancient wounds reopened at a family funeral gets a warm reworking in W. Blake Heron's A Texas Funeral, a gentle variation on the melodramatic standby directed at the easy pace of a Texas drawl. Martin Sheen is at his paternal, gentle best as the deceased patriarch Sparta Whit, who returns in the visions of his grandson and namesake Little Sparta to introduce the boy to the proud and sometimes bizarre history of the Whit family. Robert Patrick and Joanne Whalley costar as Sparta's struggling he-man son and crazy oversexed daughter, respectively, and Chris Noth is the rich cousin quietly shouldering a financial crisis. Heron has a gentle touch with his characters, and his whimsical obsession with camels (the braying "noble steed of the desert warrior") and "the awesome power of the male Whit ear" (which drives members of the opposite sex mad with uncontrollable passion) lightens the family melodrama. It ultimately plays like a too-tidy stage play, where simmering conflicts are swept away with the dawn, but Heron refreshingly discards the traditional screaming confrontations and dish-throwing tantrums for a quietly intimate celebration of family heritage, blood ties, and forgiveness. --Sean Axmaker ... Read more

Reviews (2)

Unfolds beautifully . . . leaves you with a smile
Ok, I admit it. While most kids grew up sucking their thumbs, I was more interested in the ear. It had a soothing quality that would put me to sleep. Needless to say, when I read that this family had an ear fetish, I just had to see what this was all about. No, this movie is not just about sucking an earlobe that belongs to your husband's corpse, though I was laughing so hard during this scene, nor is it just another film trying to come across as artsy with an overdose of weirdness that just cannot seem to blend well. Instead we are presented with a rather strange and different story of a family and their haunting secrets. It captures a well deserved four stars.

What was supposed to be a family reunion for the reading of the will, due to Jeremiah Sparta's (Martin Sheen)death, turns out to be a weekend that reveals just how little they all knew about each other. Seen mostly through the eyes of Jeremiah's grandson, who decides to be mute after being told to shut up, we see him interact with Jeremiah and his ancestors in the spirit world. They unload all the juicy tales of the past and it's quite fun to hear all the live folks' interpretation. After the will is read, this sets the stage for everyone's personal struggle with their haunting secrets. With solid performances and an engrossing script, you can't help but be drawn into everyone's life as you see all the anger, pain, jealousy and even an unquenchable fetish dissolve.

Definitely a keeper. One you could watch again. Good sound and picture quality too.

a breath of fresh air
A wonderful film, by a talented (new?) writer/director. A well crafted, intimate portrait of an old Texas family, it's history, and the ghosts (literally & metaphorically) in the family closet.

Fine performances all around. M. Sheem & Robert Patrick are SOLID.

Refreshing change from the slick, impersonable films from hollywood these days.

I look forward to future films by B. Herron. ... Read more

Reviews (2)

A little Titanic, Speed 2, and House on Haunted Hill
(Warning: may contain some spoilers!)This movie is about a group of friends who decide to charter a fishing boat for a day of fishing in the Bermuda Triangle. Then during their trip, the engine breaks down, their instruments go haywire, and they become engulfed in a hazy, yellow fog. Then when the fog subsides, a massive ocean liner, the SS Queen Of Scotts (a cheaply animated, rusty version of the RMS Queen Mary), which disappeared in 1939, appears and the friends find their way aboard to find a radio to get help, to find a machine part for their engine, and one of the men is looking to salvage some gold, jewels, and money from the purser's safe. Then their boat vanishes and they're stuck aboard a rusting old ship, (that looks like the a banquet hall with party stuff and miscellaneous pieces of junk just strewn about, very cheap). The group then tries to find out what happened to the ship, and it is something pretty sinister, though it is not fully explained. Then a ghost boy leads one of the friends away and gives him a heart attack, the evil in the ship drives the greedy, fortune-hunting, friend crazy and he starts trying to kill off the rest of the group so he can take the valubles from the safe. Eventually two of the people kill the insane friend and jump overboard, but the evil in the ship does not want anyone to escape so it drives the ship after them but they are able to get away and give the movie a literally Big, Explosive, ending.

I thought this movie was pretty good, despite its cheesey, tv movie status. It had its small problems, such as plot (which was still good but not too good). And the characters were not that likeable, I don't know if it was their acting or just the character but some of them were just not very interesting.

Overall, though, it was a very good movie, I really enjoyed seeing what the Queen Mary would have looked like if it had been lost in the Bermuda Triangle (at least the exterior). The interior sets looked okay, but were rather cardboardy, as said, and the engine room and bridge were almost as good as new, despite the fact that the ship had been at see for fifty years.

Anyway, the movie was pretty good and I rather enjoyed it, so if you like big ships sinking/exploding, horror, and/or a Bermuda Triangle mystery movie, this one is the one for you.

The Triangle...Fwahahahaha....
The Triangle is a movie with multiple facets... mystery, intrigue, horror...

Follow a group of friends as they make the biggest mistake of their lives, and boy have they ever made mistakes on trips. When they decide to fish in the Bermuda Triangle, something evil has its own ideas. The group comes upon an abandoned ship, lost in the triangle for years, and the evil breaks lose... The group quickly begins to fear even themselves on this ghost ship. Watch as they fall apart, and then watch as two of the originals are rescued... 4 years later...

What better setting for a good mystery than the infamous triangle, and what better prelude to evil than an encounter with a wicked voodoo priestess? You'll watch this again and again! ... Read more

Amazon.com

A virtual pantheon of icons from the 1970s populate Spirit of '76,a 1991 homage of sorts to the decade of excessive, tacky design. David Cassidyplays an inventor from a drab, lifeless future that wants to send a teamback to 1776 to retrieve the Constitution; a technical foul-up lands themin 1976 instead. You can imagine what follows: Crazy, funky get-ups andlimp jokes about Watergate, self-actualization seminars, GM Pacers,streakers, and disco. Leif Garrett, Moon Zappa, Devo, Tommy Chong, RobReiner, and others make cameo appearances, as well as more contemporarypersonalities like Julie Brown. It would be charitable to assume that thefilmmakers put all this together lovingly and didn't want to distractfrom the warm glow of nostalgia by making anything actually funny. Alsofeaturing Olivia D'Abo, Geoff Hoyle, and members of the band Redd Kross.--Bret Fetzer ... Read more

Reviews (8)

Hilarious!!!
This is my all time favorite funny movie. I must have seen it about 50 times, and it hasn't gotten a bit old. I laugh so hard I cry. This isn't slapstick humor, it is suddle and that's what makes it so great!

Good plot, but one problem: its not funny
This movie almost looks like memento ripped off of it. This guy has temporary amnesia, and the plot unfolds as the movie goes on. The plot is very well thought out and clever, revealing something new each minute, but there is one problem. This movie is supposed to be a comedy, and tries hard, but fails to deliver the laughs. There are many desperate attempts at humor in this movie, but only about 3 times does it work. But nonetheless it is an enjoyable 90 minutes, and although it wastes his talent, as one of the few movies Dana Carvey stars, and he is usually so funny, but in this movie he just doesnt deliver.

dumb humor
This is the best comedy of all time. Dana Carvey pulls off the best character of a guy who's got temporary amnesia. He plays the perfect role waking up as a complete moron to the world every morning, whenever he goes to sleep ~ he loses his memory. If you liked Dumb & Dumber...etc. you will love this movie. And it's a good one to buy because you have definately got to watch it more than once. You can't catch everything the first time you watch it. Hope this review helped.

Brilliant
I loved this movie, I think its genius. It has depth, detail, atmosphere, and is hilarious with clean humor (which is kind of refreshing). A great vehicle for Carvey (and I'm not a huge Carvey fan), I can watch it again and again!

You Golino, girl
The comedy CLEAN SLATE runs hot and cold. Its director, Mick Jackson, has made at least one gem (L.A. STORY) and one dog (THE BODYGUARD), and he's between those extremes this time around. CLEAN SLATE's worth a try on television as opposed to buying or renting.

CLEAN SLATE's imaginative premise involves the plight of lead actor Dana Carvey, who doesn't remember anything previous to his last night's sleep. Before we even get to know his character, the film rushes into the story of the daily amnesia attacks, one reason it took me some time to start enjoying the film. Further, several weak plot devices and too many one-note characters strain the credibility of CLEAN SLATE's otherwise fun, clever story.

While its jokes hit or miss, CLEAN SLATE does not waste the comic talents of "Saturday Night Live" funnyman Carvey. However, it is lead actress Valeria Golino who, playing the friend Carvey may not be able to trust, carries the film. She certainly has the advantage of playing CLEAN SLATE's only three-dimensional role.

CLEAN SLATE ain't bad. With some rewriting here and some editing there, it could have been even better. ... Read more

Reviews (1)

A Journey For Anyone Who Dares To Dream
Everyone who has walked the face of this earth has at one time in his or her life, dreamed of becoming an extraordinary person. It is in our nature to dream of growing into something unique and beautiful. The journey of life is and will never be an easy voyage. Some will fall...and some will succeed; It's up to the individual to turn that dream into a reality. In this movie BEYOND THE STARS, Eric (Christian Slater) has his dream in sight and is willing to do anything to one day accomplish it. Eric wants to walk among the stars and touch the face of the moon. When he is sent to his father's house in Ceder Bay Oregon for shooting a model rocket through a school window; He realizes that an ex-astronaut (Martin Sheen) is living in the same town as his father. To Eric this man is a legend, someone who has been where he one day wants to go. Eric meets a beautiful girl who just so happens to know this living hero. But Paul Andrews (The Astronaut), is nothing but; He is now a drunk, who wants to be left alone and never wants to talk about his time away from our home. Eric is severly hurt but eventually decides to do what ever it takes to be Paul's friend. Eric gets his break when Mr. Andrews offers him to help in constructing a grand greenhouse. Knowing that he won't get any money, Eric still agrees to help him. And through this decision they grow as true friends and there friendship eventually brings Eric and his father closer than they've ever been before. What Eric doesn't know is that some years earlier on Paul's last mission to the moon; He stumbled upon something magical buried within a crater. And as he was attempting to uncover the ancient relic a heavy cloud of radiation caught up with him, taking a piece of his life as it passed by. Paul knew that he was poisoned and that it was too late to escape the wrath of the deadly cloud; So he ordered his men to safely lock the hatch to the pod. They had to set helplessly, knowing that through the passage of many years the radiation would eventually take the rest of him. Paul decided in the dark of the lunar surface that the relic would be his and that no one would ever find out - that is, until Eric comes along. This story is so inspiring. It asks so many important questions and shows us that friendship is an important part of life; Without it this world would be an empty place. This movie in a way models our own life - We all dream - We all want our privacy - And we all question our own existence. BEYOND THE STARS is a film that will forever live within the hearts of every dreamer. It has shown me to never let go of a dream - And to never deny friendship - Both are extremely powerful and vital to every human being. So friend, if you are down and need to be lifted up beyond the stars - Find this movie, or buy it whenever it is re-released. ... Read more

Reviews (13)

Soccer Dog
Ok, when i first got this movie, i thought it was just going to be like "Air Bud". Was i ever wrong-
The movie starts off with us meeting James Marshall's character, who we find out was living in an orphanage. When he turned 18, he left and met his wife, Olivia d'Abo. They move to a town called Crocker, which eats, sleeps, and breathes soccer. Everythings find and dandy until they decide they want to adopt a boy.
Enter Clay(Jeremey Foley). Clay really can't connect with his new parents because they're pushing him to do too many things and all he wants to do is fit in. But when he finds a dog, Lincoln, and they let him keep it, things start to look better.
Clay goes to soccer practice and we all find out that he definetly needs some help with his soccer skills.
Then one day at a game, a boy gets "sick" and can't play, so the team's one man short. But what do you know, Lincoln can play soccer! So the team continues playing with Lincoln as the star.
I'm not even going to mention one of the player's ganster dad, who fixes the games, or the highly mental dogcatcher after Lincoln the whole movie, or the phsyco boy from the rival soccer team who is out to get Clay and Lincoln, or Vince, Clays best friend because even without all of these actors the movie is still great. Its more than soccer, it's really about a family coming through different obstacles to become closer and friends always being there for you, no matter what.
So next time you feel a little bored, pop in Soccer Dog for quite a few laughs, and maybe even a little bit of tears.

Good movie for all ages!
James Marshall and Olivia D'Abo do a great job of acting while the really awesome dog rocks, too! The story goes like this, a boy who doesn't know exactly how to play soccer when his demanding dad wants him to be a soccer star...they need to call in the cool little SOCCER DOG! There are many movies like this, for instance Air Bud which goes a step further than this, but Soccer Dog definitely makes the grade!

SIMPLY AMAZING!!!
I have seen all of the movies in the animal/sports genre and this is by far THE BEST!! The way this movie so expertly brings together such a vast array of story lines is superb. The character development in this movie brings to mind other big screen epics such as Braveheart, Wizard of Oz, and The North Shore. I look forward to any and all future movies from this highly imaginative and talented story-teller. Bravo, Mr. Forman, Bravo!

Red carded
We have two young boys who love soccer, so this movie seemed like a natural. Wrong. The acting and character development are just plain odd, and to top it off there's a very dark subplot about a mafioso who "fixes" pee wee soccer games. He actually poisons a kid at one point. The "dog playing soccer" scenes are very poorly done compared to Air Bud. Skip it.

How Soccer Dog changed my life
Once in a while something comes along and it changes your life forever. It may be the day you get married. The birth of your first child. Making your first million.
Well last night I had one of those moments.

Last night I watched Soccer Dog.

For as long as I can remember, Robert De Niro has been my favourite actor. Mean Streets. Goodfellas. Even Rocky & Bullwinkle. But last night that changed.

Last night I watched Soccer Dog.

You know, I didn't even manage to catch the dog's real name when watching the credits. Perhaps it really is Lincoln. But one thing's for sure, the canine thespian is a revolutionary force that will dominate the acting profession like no other animal (or even human) has done before.

Oh yes. Last night I watched Soccer Dog. ... Read more

Amazon.com

The dark, brooding tone of Conan the Barbarian is replaced in this rousing sequel by a lighter, more humorous tone and one of the campiest casts ever assembled. This time, Conan is assigned by a duplicitous queen (Sarah Douglas) to escort a virgin princess (Olivia d'Abo) on a treacherous trek to a crystal palace where they will retrieve a priceless gemstone. Basketball champ and self-described Lothario Wilt Chamberlain plays Bombaata, a warrior sent on a secret mission to kill Conan, and the androgynous Grace Jones plays Zula, a wild woman who becomes Conan's loyal ally. Some consider this sequel a disappointment, but the film makes no apologies for its silliness, and that's the key to its success as gloriously pulpy entertainment. --Jeff Shannon ... Read more

Reviews (56)

Not horrible but not great
Call this more like 2 1/2 stars. This movie may actually be a bit closer in spirit to a true swords and sorcery epic than the first movie. We've got evil queens, evil wizards, monsters, etc...

Unfortunately, Conan is even saddled with a bigger cast of companians. Mako is back as the wizard, Tracy Walter plays a thief for comic relief, then we have Oliva D'Abo as a Princess, and Wilt Chamberlain and Grace Jones rounding out the cast.

This is some of the worst casting EVER! Jones, Chamberlain and Walter are totally out of place in this movie. Chamberlain is even more wooden than Arnold, Jones basically scowls and growls for 90 minutes and Walter sounds like a hillbilly in ancient times.

The special effects are B movie at it's best. Poorly looking rubber costumes. Conan's nemesis from the books and comics, Thoth Amon comes off as totally pathetic.

It's not all bad. Arnold himself holds things together as best he can and the action scenes are well done. Still, We have yet to see anyone do a REAL good swords and sorcery/fantasy movie(discounting Lord of the Rings, of course).

King Kull with Kevin Sorbo was yet another slap in the face to fans of Robert E. Howard.

Quirky casting decisions quickly sink this "Conan" sequel
The 1982 film "Conan the Barbarian" is the film that gets the credit (or blame) for turning Arnold Schwarzenegger into a movie star, but it should be remembered more as the best Sword & Sorcery film produced to date. The main reasons, besides Schwarzenegger cutting an imposing figure as Conan, flexing his muscles and swinging his big sword, was that director John Milius treated the characters seriously and avoided descending into camp. But for the 1984 sequel "Conan the Destroyer," the key factor seemed to be coming up with casting in a similar vein to the logic that had landed Arnold the role.

The story of "Conan the Destroyer" was by Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway, a pair of writers for Marvel Comics. Thomas was the writer for Marvel's "Conan the Barbarian," often adapating Robert E. Howard's stories, whether they were originally Conan stories or not. The story is a basic quest story where Conan escorts a virgin princess to bring back a powerful gem from a crystal palace, which will then be returned to a queen (Sarah Douglas), who turns out to be evil and wants to sacrifice the princess so the gem can used to summon an ancient demon, at which point wackiness will ensue.

The problem is not in the story, which certainly allows you to string together a series of Sword & Sorcery adventures, but in the casting. The princess is played by Olivia d'Abo, who simply looks too young (i.e., Conan was forever leaving pregnant princesses behind in his various adventure