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1. Crossroads
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2. The French Connection (Five Star
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3. Frankie & Johnny
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4. Stop! or My Mom Will Shoot
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5. The French Connection
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6. Challenge of the Super Friends
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7. Challenge of the Super Friends
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8. Return to Horror High
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9. Return to Horror High
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10. Challenge of the Superfriends
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11. Parasite
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12. Super Cops
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13. Parasite

1. Crossroads
Director: Walter Hill
list price: $24.96
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Asin: B0002A2WDQ
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 1700
Average Customer Review: 4.59 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (79)

4-0 out of 5 stars Thin plot as an excuse for the best soundtrack I've heard
As a cinematic work, Crossroads is nothing special. Except for Joe Seneca who was great as the aging blues-legend on the run from the devil, the acting is awful. Ralph Macchio is decent, except that he's doing the EXACT same character he did in Karate Kid. The love interest between Eugene and Frances is silly, shallow and simply doesn't work. The screenplay, above all, is terrible. The directing and photography are good, which makes the film at least bearable.

But the film is just an excuse for one of the most amazing soundtracks I've ever heard. Classical guitar, Robert Johnson classic blues, Muddy Waters electric blues and hard blues rock run throughout this film wonderfuly; for bluesmen and guitar lovers, Crossroads is a must. The ending with Steve Vai, above all, is one of the greatest scenes I've seen and makes the whole movie worthwile - and both Vai and 'Eugene' play a KILLER guitar (I think Stevie Ray Vaughan plays Eugene's part). Overall, a very mediocre movie and for many probably boring, but a cult classic and a musical masterpiece.

5-0 out of 5 stars What a Great Idea For a Film!
...even though it's far from a perfect movie. So why the 5 stars? Because it's so unique, so bold, so unconventional, and so ultimately pleasing. Crossroads is a fun fairy tale that uses an accurate history lesson as its back drop. (i.e., the kind of fim the just don't make anymore.) Not to mention it has some of the best music you'll hear in a movie. And if you're a musician, and especially a guitar player, it's simply a MUST! The plot and performances have already been reviewed but I'd like to add that Macchios "less than confident" portrayal fits perfectly with the character. The biggest flaw is the horrible miscasting of Steve Vai as the resident hot shot blues man. Vai is in no way or form a blues guitarist and would never be accepted as such, and his poser/over the top performance at the end ruins an otherwise classic film moment. I always felt that Johnny Winter would have been the perfect choice for that role and they should have left Steve to do the soundtrack for the electric classical guitar pieces. The bit with the "selling the soul to the devil" was a little forced as well. All in all, Crossroads is is an uneven masterpiece. Try to overlook the bad, appreciate the good and thank all concerned for at least attempting to bring the beauty of some wonderful music to the publics conciousness. Not to mention you'll thoroughly enjoy watching it. This is one of very few films I actually hated to see end.

4-0 out of 5 stars Just a few corrections.....
Just a couple corrections. Eugene's guitar parts were played by Ry Cooder and Steve Vai. Ry handled all of the delta blues parts, with Vai contributing Eugene's Trick Bag at the end of the film. Arlen Roth was Ralph Macchio's guitar coach.

5-0 out of 5 stars the best music film ever
this is the most inspiring film ever made it just makes you want to pick up the guitar and play exept you dont wont to miss the film the duel at the end is the best ive ever seen it tells you the story of the misissipi delta blues and the missing song someone said to me that joe satriani played the parts that eugine did but write back and say if he did the film really opened my eyes to steve vai and recently i went to see g3 live i reccamend that as well

5-0 out of 5 stars Wonderful!
This movie was so great i give it 5 stars! It's a well done and well written movie. I would recommend it to anyone! I saw this with my dad, and we're big movie buffs and this is both our favorite! Ralph Macchio was really good, he couldn't have done ant better! I love this movie and would reccomend this! ... Read more


2. The French Connection (Five Star Collection)
Director: William Friedkin
list price: $26.98
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Asin: B00003CXA3
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 3789
Average Customer Review: 4.23 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (74)

4-0 out of 5 stars 4.2 out of 5
Adapted from Robin Moore's fact-based novel, THE FRENCH CONNECTION was the breakthrough film for both direction William Friedkin, who later went on to direct THE EXORCIST, and Gene Hackman. Hackman stars in his Academy Award-winning role as "Popeye" Doyle, a New York City cop who, along with partner "Cloudy" Russo (Roy Scheider), stumbles upon a drug ring headed by a Frenchman (Fernando Rey) who uses an innocent-seeming actor (Frederic de Pasquale) to cover the operation. Along with Hackman's forementioned award for "Best Actor", the film also took in Best Director for Friedkin; Best Film Editing; Best Writing (Ernest Tidyman) and a deserved Best Picture. The chase scenes are outstanding and some of the best ever filmed; Hackman is excellent in one of his greatest roles. Action fans won't want to pass this one by; followed by FRENCH CONNECTION II and a floppish TV movie.

5-0 out of 5 stars Still love that car chase
It's getting a tad frayed around the edges, but "The French Connection" has stood up remarkably well over thirty years, thanks largely to a great cast, a great director (William Friedkin) and a crackerjack plot - not to mention the mother of all car chases. Only Gene Hackman could have played Popeye Doyle, a straight-up jerk whose bull-in-the-china-closet operating method rolls over everything in his way, including his own colleagues. Playing his partner admirably well is Roy Scheider as Buddy Russo, whose patience at Doyle's antics sometimes wears as thin as the soles on his shoes. The two of them are narcs, and they are out to intercept the arrival and distribution of a monster shipment of heroin from Marseilles by a drug kingpin named Alan Charnier. The movie zips along as Doyle and Charnier attempt to outwit each other; one of the best sequences in the film is Doyle following Charnier along the streets of midtown Manhattan into the subway (native New Yorkers have fun identifying the path they take) and losing him on the train. Doyle in his own way is as repulsive as the drug dealers he's up against; he's a racist, selfish, insensitive, uncaring about anybody but himself. But his single-minded mania serves him well in this chase; he'll bring down his prey one way or another. The classic scene in this movie is, of course, the car chase under the elevated subway that practically defined the term "car chase"; it's mind-boggling to try to imagine how Friedkin managed to shoot this sequence. The supporting actors in the movie are excellent; I especially liked Tony LoBianco as the middleman Sal Boca, Arlene Farber as his wife Angie, Benny Marino as his brother Lou (does the family that deals together stay together?), Patrick McDermott as the cool-as-ice chemist testing the purity of Charnier's stock and stamping it with his seal of approval; and above all, the sinister performance given by Marcel Bozzuffi as Pierre Nicoli, Charnier's hitman, who will shoot anyone in cold blood without batting an eyelash. The cinematography has a kind of grainy quality that enhances the gritty story being played out. Even though it seems a bit dated, "The French Connection" still stands out as one of the high points of American film.

5-0 out of 5 stars the 4th time viewing got even better experience
simply fantastic! the 2nd dvd got lot of significant details about this great movie making. the quality of the dvds are so crispily sharp. very very good viewing experience. gene hackman admitted it set off his career and confessed the difficulties to bring himself into playing the popei role. by viewing his performance only proved that he's one of the greatest modern time actors. think back....almost all of his movies roles were great, no matter how lousy the movies themself was. gene hackman is a national treasure.

5-0 out of 5 stars Groundbreaking
After two decades of watching squeaky clean LAPD Sergeant Joe Friday on "Dragnet", and decades of Chicago's favorite fed, Elliot Ness on "The Untouchables", and then the innocent buffoons of the NYPD on "Car 54 Where Are You?", it was little wonder that people of the t.v. era were shocked by this movie's unflinching look at New York's lawmen. THE FRENCH CONNECTION, if not for anything else, will be remembered as the film that ultimately de-romanticized the noble cop legend. Popeye Doyle (marvelouly portrayed by Gene Hackman) is the anti-cop. He is not a crooked cop by any means. However, he's bigoted, amoral, prone to violence, self-possessed, and oblivious to the rules of police conduct. Norman Mailer once said of bad cops that they are sworn to uphold the law but feel they are above it; that they are supposed to keep the peace, but are inherently violent. That's Popeye Doyle.

The plotline of the film is fairly simple: the police receive information about a major drug operation about to go down, and they try to prevent it and arrest everyone involved. But Director Friedkin infuses the film with the complexities and dreariness inherent in pursuing such a case. I developed an appreciation of the hours of stake-out drudgery that the police go through. And then, of course, there's the danger every policeman confronts.

There's something for everyone in this film, including the greatest car chase in movies (even if the car is chasing an elevated train). Note: the elevated tracks that Gene Hackman drives under are the same tracks that appeared in the opening credits of "Welcome Back, Kotter" and, more importantly, they are the same tracks that John Travolta saunters under in the open scene of "Saturday Night Fever". If you're interested, those are the elevated tracks of the West End line (now the "D" train) on 86th Street in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn.

3-0 out of 5 stars Good but not great
This movie was good, but it wasn't THAT good.
The ending itself is a HUGE left-off-hanging disappointment.
It doesn't really stand out from a lot of other cop movies that received far less attention. ... Read more


3. Frankie & Johnny
Director: Garry Marshall
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Asin: B00005QTAU
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 4286
Average Customer Review: 4.31 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (35)

4-0 out of 5 stars "We're expecting another call from you any minute"
Surprisingly subtle love story from director Garry Marshall. I think it tanked in theaters for the same reason I didn't see it until it went to video--I wasn't ready to accept Michelle Pfeiffer as a greasy-spoon waitress (or Al Pacino as a short-order cook). But I forgot that they can both act, and they do a wonderful job here. Nathan Lane is hilarious in a supporting role; he provides what might be the single funniest line that movie year.

5-0 out of 5 stars Best Romantic Movie Ever Made!
This movie is one of the best!! You have to own it. If you are a hopeless romantic, then you MUST have it!!!! Not a movie for the kiddies. Just you and with someone you love or want to love...

5-0 out of 5 stars I wish I could live in that Universe.
The dialogs are a dream come true.

I heard some people were upset that Michelle Pfeiffer was cast as Frankie. Apparently the actress who played that character on stage was Kathy Bates and came to be regarded by many as definitive in that role. I'm sure she was terrific, and I loved her in "Dolores Claiborne", but as much as I sympathize with those who claim that it's all part of Hollywood's conspiracy to make ordinary women feel dissatisfied with their "real", ordinary bodies and faces, Michelle Pfeiffer - gorgeous as she is - is a sensitive, real performer, not a Barbie doll in any way, and though I couldn't be more different from her physically, I find it very easy to relate to her thanks to her talent.

The movie is a gem, though every time I watch anything with Al Pacino in it I'm always counting the seconds for the "scream scene". I'm not sure I ever watched a movie in which he starred, that he didn't scream his head off at some point, and this one's no exception. One love scene is basically spoiled by it, although die hard fans can always make the case that the script was asking for it. No minor problems like this one can spoil the movie as a whole though, that's what's important.

4-0 out of 5 stars A true love story
The way it really is. two people who aren't anything special at all. And they find one another and make it work despite everything else. because they have to. because they need something in their lives and this is the best thing coming around. Nice.

4-0 out of 5 stars Beautiful Love Story!
I saw this in 1991 when I was in middle school and I instantly fell in love with the movie. This film introduced me to romantic comedies and though I am not a fan of most films of this genre this one has a lot of heart and soul.

Al Pacino took a break from his usual cop/crook roles to play Johnny, a sweet ex-con with a bruised heart. He's a kindred spirit looking for someone else to share his lonely life with. Michelle Pheiffer is the same kindred spirit except Frankie has been so bruised she can not get back. Frankie and Johnny go through twists and turns before Frankie agrees to go out on a date. The more Frankie sees into Johnny's world she realizes he's the one person who can help her move past her former relationship with a man who beat her. This actually scares Frankie even more and she does her best to fight Johnny's advances but ultimately cannot fight her own heart.

This movie is the perfect date movie all rolled into one. It would have been a great family movie except for the thrown in sex scene between Johnny and Cora. I didn't agree with that because it didn't belong in a wholesome movie like this. The set up of the diner was refreshing and it was good to see a film where everyone was struggling for paychecks and not living in mansions and driving fancy cars. I am not from New York but I got a true sense of New York life after seeing this movie. The director ( Garry Marshall) had just come off of his super hit with Pretty Woman and proved he still had the touch of gold when it came to romantic movies.

The cast was wonderful. I enjoyed Al Pacino's innocent betrayal of Johnny and he brought in a lot of himself into the character. Michelle Pfeiffer was good as well. I just wished Frankie hadn't have been so grumpy because it was hard for me to warm up to her at first. But I realized Frankie was the way she was because of the hardships in her life. This is a movie for anyone to enjoy: young, middle-aged, senior, black, white, asian. It's one of those movies that doesn't provide any culture gaps or society gaps. It's just a nice love story where anyone can relate.

Everyone has had to struggle with emotions or money and everyone has fallen in love some time or another. This film combines all those elements into a breathtaking movie. If that's not enough for you to see it, check it out for the supporting characters. Nathan Lane is a hoot. Everyone should see this film at least once. ... Read more


4. Stop! or My Mom Will Shoot
Director: Roger Spottiswoode
list price: $14.98
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Asin: B0000VV5BM
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 13226
Average Customer Review: 3.29 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (14)

5-0 out of 5 stars Best Stallone Movie Ever Made!
Stop or My Mom Will Shoot is one of the best movies that Stallone has Ever Made. It is about a cop whose life isn't going so good. When his mother comes to visit she changes everything for the good.His mother witneses a murder and she has to stay to help find the killer.With Sylvester Stallone, Estelle Getty, and JoBeth Williams you couldn't ask for a better cast. I highly recomend this movie.

5-0 out of 5 stars Stallone is the Ultimate Superstar!
I can not tell you how much this movie has changed my life. Just when my life couldn't get any worse, I saw "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot". Sylvester Stallone is the savior for mankind. When you think armageddon is upon us, just watch Stallone in this uplifting, spiritual movie. The relationship with his mother is unbelievable and touching. This motion picture deserves to be recognized and to be viewed by the world. Universal Pictures needs to release this movie on DVD, not for me, but for the human race.

3-0 out of 5 stars some funny parts,some boring parts
this movie's worth a rent.it is i admit kinda boring but it is also very funny at times.mostly action and comedy combined together since it is a sylvester stallone movie

5-0 out of 5 stars A classic that excretes patriotism from every orifice
In an era inspired by the likes of Pat Tillman, John McCain and Ryan Seacrest, Sylvester Stallone's 1992 Gulf War opus "Stop! or My Mom Will Shoot!" is still as powerful during today's troubled global situation as it was during the senior Bush's initial campaign to liberate the noble god-fearing folks of Kuwait.

Inspired by her son's decision to enlist in the military to eliminate the obvious nuclear threat residing in Iraq, Tutti Bomowski (Estelle Getty) decides to re-enlist herself. Having been the first female Navy Seal in U.S. history, and a decorated war hero in Korea, the one condition of her military service is to be assigned to the same elite fighting squadron as her son Joe (Stallone). Their top-secret operation carries them right into the fringes of Baghdad where they uncover Saddam's diabolical plan to blow up the ocean. Despite their combined lethal skills, one of them won't make it out alive.

Teeming with realistic wartime violence, this is not everyone's cup of tea. However, if you're a fan of Sam Peckinpah's bloody cinematic ballet, you will find much to appreciate in Stallone's work. In fact, as a moving tribute to the motherly tone of this epic, Stallone was assisted by Peckinpah's 93-year old mother Myrtle in helping choreograph many of the action sequences, most notably the legendary bungee-jumping battle scenes.

Sly showed that he's a master of many crafts in "Stop! or My Mom Will Shoot!" Not only did he write, produce, direct, and star in this film, but he also wrote and performed the amazing musical score as well. "Over The Top" and "Cobra" may have introduced the world to the possible talents that Stallone possesses, but it was this film that truly made him a legend that will live on for several weeks to come.

1-0 out of 5 stars NO STARS!
i remember seeing this movie a long long time ago...
this is quite possibly the worst movie i have ever seen. ... Read more


5. The French Connection
Director: William Friedkin
list price: $14.98
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Asin: B0006GANN2
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 27072
Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars
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Amazon.com essential video

William Friedkin's classic policier was propelled to box-office glory, and a fistful of Oscars, in 1972 by its pedal-to-the-metal filmmaking and fashionably cynical attitude toward law enforcement. Gene Hackman's Popeye Doyle, a brutally pushy New York City narcotics detective, is a dauntless crime fighter and Vietnam-era "pig," a reckless vulgarian whose antics get innocent people killed. Loosely based upon an actual investigation that led to what was then the biggest heroin seizure in U.S. history, the picture traces the efforts of Doyle and his partner (Roy Scheider) to close the pipeline pumping Middle Eastern smack into the States through the French port of Marseilles. (The actual French Connection cops, Eddie Egan and Sonny Grosso, make cameo appearances.) It was widely recognized at the time that Friedkin had lifted a lot of his high-strung technique from the Costa-Gavras thrillers The Sleeping Car Murders and Z--he even imported one of Costa-Gavras's favorite thugs, Marcel Bozzuffi, to play the Euro-trash hit man plugged by Doyle in an elevated train station. There was an impressive official sequel in 1975, French Connection II, directed by John Frankenheimer, which took Popeye to the south of France and got him hooked on horse. A couple of semi-official spinoffs followed, The Seven-Ups, which elevated Scheider to the leading role, and Badge 373, with Robert Duvall stepping in as the pugnacious flatfoot. --David Chute ... Read more

Reviews (82)

2-0 out of 5 stars Slow and very dated
Don't be a sheep and listen to all the reviews about how great this movie is, because it isn't. The movie is very slow, the action is not as well filmed as newer films, and although on paper the plot sounds fairly intriguing (a true story of two cops who made the largest heroin bust in US history) the movie falls pretty flat.

Just for a little context on myself, I was born in 1980, so yes I am a relatively younger viewer. However, I am not a big fan of today's special effects oriented, plot light action films. In fact, in my opinion, the seventies were the golden age of filmaking.

Special effects then were advanced enough to make action seem realistic, (but hadn't gotten so good that directors got carried away with them) acting had reached its pinnacle after having the method actors firmly entrenched in Hollywood by this time, and plots were still strong (some would argue weakening in the seventies, in my view they were stronger than the classics, but I can somewhat understand that view).

But what we have with the French Connection is basically a film which is caught between two eras, and succeeds in neither one. The action is closer to classic cinemotography than modern. The acting is fairly good, but with little plot to carry it (unless a two hour limping plot to catch the bad guys is a good plot to you.)

The car chase seen is about as overated as overated can be stated without being a cliche. Here I was bored for an hour and a half, waiting for this car chase, and it really wasn't filmed that well or was that exciting, hardly the best car chase seen in any movie.

If you have nothing but time on your hands and want to see this because everyone else says you should, go ahead. But if you value your time and want to see a film that is both a classic and entertaing, I would suggest the Seven Ups with Roy Scheider. This may be actually be the best car chase in any movie, and although modern movies can film a bit better, I would argue it gives any modern film a run for its money in that department. Also, the film isn't dated, and the plot doesn't put you to sleep. Another suggestion would be Serpico, although also slightly dated to the younger viewers, it still manages to keep its edge, and even during its length and slowtimes, you remain engaged.

Why this film is so popular is beyond me. I think it is a combination of Gene Hackman's acting and a cool sounding name for a film, and then everyone jumping on the bandwagon about this being a classic.

Go ahead and ignore my review and buy it anyway, but anyone who likes a decent paced film with an engaging plot will wish they listened.

5-0 out of 5 stars Classic Film Noir.
I just saw this one the other day for the second time and was amazed at how riveting it still is.It's also one of the only times that I can think of where a car chase scene rises to the level of art.There is practically nothing in this movie that is black and white.Even after all these years of cultural and social decline, Hackman's final words to Roy Scheider still manage to disturb.I was further surprised at how pertinent the themes are and at the unpredictability of the plot turns.The acting is first rate with the French actors being well chosen.

5-0 out of 5 stars Film is great, DVD could be a little better
The acting, scenery, and gritty realism of TFC make it brilliant. But sadly the DVD (despite two discs) sports no bloopers or outtakes of the movie. Also, why couldn't Hackman and Scheider have a complete and seperate commentary each, instead of the half commentary each their given?

5-0 out of 5 stars One of the best ever
Let's just get the plot synopsis out of the way: Popeye Doyle and Cloudy Russo are to NYPD detectives who make the largest heroin bust of their time.As the title implies, heroin is being smuggled in by a prominent Frenchman and sold through middlemen in Manhattan.Doyle and Russo do an amazing job of tracking down the bad guys, but unfortunately, the bad guys still claim somewhat of a victory in the end. The movie's based on a true story, but of course, many liberties are taken. Alright, that's that.

This is simply one of the greatest movies I have ever seen. Gene Hackman never topped himself with his Oscar-winning performance as Popeye Doyle.He's able to channel the obsessiveness, harshness, and faux racism of the actual person he's based on so genuinely that you wouldn't doubt that he's an actual hardened detective. Roy Scheider does an outstanding job as Popeye's sidekick Cloudy. He plays Cloudy a bit more mellow than Popeye, but you can tell that he's just as good a cop as his partner. The cast also includes Fernando Rey who turns in a great performance as the French villain.

Of course, the acting is superb, but the cinematography and the action are equally great.Since Friedkin wanted the movie shot in a documentary style, the on-screen action takes on a very realistic appearance.This enhances our appreciation of the New York that is seldom portrayed - the non-5th-avenue, real, heroin-infested backstreets of the 60's.And, yes of course, one of the greatest chases in the history of movies - Popeye in a car chasing the French hitman who's on a train.There's no CGI here.And as you'll learn from the commentaries, the crashes you see are real since the filmmakers didn't bother to obtain permits to shoot on the streets and instead just stole the shots.

That brings me to the DVD extras. The commentary by director Friedkin is excellent.It really gave me a new appreciation for this movie. Friedkin talks at length about the 2 detectives the main characters are based on, the difficulties in making the movie, and probably most interesting to a film fanatic, the correlations between the movie and the actual case itself.The commentaries by Hackman and Scheider are also great, but unfortunately, each only speak for about 20-30 minutes. The DVD also has an insightful documentary produced by the BBC about the movie and the actual case.

I'm sorry I'm talking so long, but there's still more to say. There are seven 7 deleted scenes and accompanying commentaries on the DVD. After viewing these, I realized just how revolutionary the ideas behind this movie actually were. The final cut of the movie was controversial enough in its portrayals of drug use, police behavior, and Popeye's racist attitudes, but one look at the deleted scenes will convince you that Friedkin would have pushed the envelope farther if only audiences were ready for it. The most striking of the scenes depicts the French hitman enjoying sadomasochistic activities with a prostitute. That may be par for the course for today's movies, but just imagine what it would have been like back then.

I've rambled enough, but it's only because I love this movie and this DVD. Make sure you pick it up next time you go to Blockbuster or wherever.

5-0 out of 5 stars You'll be Picking Your Feet in Poughkeepsie
What can be said about this landmark picture?It's got everything.You've got Gene Hackman commanding the screen as Popeye Doyle in every scene he's in whether he's busting a drug bar, chasing a sniper while driving manicly under the El tracks, or pursuing his elusive prey, Charnier, better known as "Frog One".Roy Scheider gives a great supporting performance as Cloudy, Popeye's cooler headed partner as does Fernando Rey as the wily Charnier.Kudos also go to William Friedkin for his sure-handed direction.He orchestrates every aspect of this film perfectly from the establishing scenes in Marseilles, to the buyers in New York, to the police investigation of the connection.Though we have been inundated in recent years with police dramas both cinematic and on television, this is the mother of them all.Thirty plus years on this film holds up as well as it did on it's initial release. ... Read more


6. Challenge of the Super Friends - United They Stand
Director: Ray Patterson, Carl Urbano
list price: $14.97
our price: $13.47
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Asin: B00009AV9Z
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 18476
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Description

As the infamous Legion of Doom unleashes one diabolical scheme after another, the heroic Superfriends explode into battle to thwart them! Join Superman, Black Vulcan and Hawkman as they fight to free themselves from imprisonment in the center of the Earth! Travel back in time to witness the amazing origins of the most powerful Superfriends of all! And watch the larger-than-life action as Superman, Batman, Flash and Green Lantern are transformed into the 100-foot-tall Giants of Justice! Four exciting episodes featuring the original Justice League of America! ... Read more


7. Challenge of the Super Friends - Attack of the Legion of Doom
Director: Ray Patterson, Carl Urbano
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Asin: B000087F7F
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 11066
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DVD features

The Challenge of the Super Friends: Attack of the Legion of Doom DVD is rounded out by some slight extras that provide a few nuggets of background information on the Legion of Doom and the series itself. "Hall of Doom" is the most enjoyable feature, offering thumbnail sketches of each Legion member as well as a montage of their fiendish exploits. However, "Super Friend or Super Foe?" is an ill-explained identification game that asks viewers to find hidden Super Friends in a portrait of the Legion of Doom. Series story editor Jeffrey Scott contributes brief anecdotes about the program, which can be played before each episode; these bits are advertised as introductions, but this is somewhat misleading, as he doesn't mention anything specific about the four episodes. Finally, the main menu offers viewers the opportunity to play the episodes individually or all at once. --Paul Gaita ... Read more


8. Return to Horror High
Director: Bill Froehlich
list price: $9.98
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Asin: B00005UW7P
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 19022
Average Customer Review: 2.81 out of 5 stars
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Amazon.com

Return to Horror High is a convoluted cheesefest that tries to be spoof and horror movie at the same time, feebly prefiguring Scream. A movie crew is filming a slasher picture at a high school where a series of murders actually occurred; the killings begin again--or are they simply staged for the production? The answer to this question is distinctly uninvolving, but it involves a lot of fake blood. Familiar faces include Vince Edwards and Brady Bunch star Maureen McCormick (a uniformed cop), plus--until he becomes the first victim--George Clooney. --Robert Horton ... Read more

Reviews (16)

5-0 out of 5 stars Hey People! Satire here.
This movie has been getting such bad reviews, and I wrote this one to set the record straight, i guess (but excuse the corniness).
This movie was not meant to be a 'real' horror film, it is obviously a satire. Think of it as the first in the sub-genre that "Scream" sopposedly started, accept it's not as straight foward it it's mocking, accept in the leading woman's blatent complaints a couple times. Also the movie has a sorta predictable non-pedictable way about it. It's funny as hell, I mean the stuff that happens is SO absurd, and the police the department is stupid as anything. One of the best parts is that George Clooney is in it, and not even a lead role either.
Anyway this movie is a 'watch-if-you-want-to-laugh' type film, and keep in mind that it's a spoof.
*Note:the 5 stars are so people watch it, to boost the rating a bit

5-0 out of 5 stars Its a just-kidding horror movie
If I had to give this movie a rating on horror value it would rate as the worst scary movie I've ever seen in my entire life. However, this film has much more value than that. It is so painfully, horridly, terribly bad, that its good. Like pop-tarts so cool thier hot . . .first of all George Clooney and Marsha Bradey in a wicked low budget film is enough to make anyone chuckle. This movie also has a terrible plot, and the worst special effects I've ever scene. Its a classic worth viewing again and again. Its better than Cats.

2-0 out of 5 stars A Horror Comedy Has Never Been This...Dead
In spite of what the title implies, 1987's RETURN TO HORROR HIGH is not a sequel but is, instead, a tongue-in-cheek horror film that is intended as a spoof of the slasher sub-genre wildly popular during the 1980s. Interestingly, it predates Wes Craven's similarly themed (and excellent) SCREAM by almost 10 years. But RETURN TO HORROR HIGH doesn't even come close to Craven's magnum opus in terms of production quality, scares, or laughs.

The word RETURN in the title of this film is not just a deliberately misleading joke; it also is a reference to the film's plot. The story involves a group of filmmakers who have "returned" to Crippen High School to make a low-budget fictionalized horror movie about the "real" murders that occurred there 5 or so years earlier. Unfortunately for these movie-mogul wannabees, the killer was never caught, and when members of the cast and crew start getting offed one by one, it looks like history might be repeating itself....

Admittedly, RETURN TO HORROR HIGH is not an example of great horror filmmaking, not even as a spoof, especially when compared to later and better genre films that are both funny and scary--films like SCREAM (1986) and SCARY MOVIE (2000). Its primary failures? One, the flashback structure of the plot is not handled well, easily causing confusion for the average audience member. Two, a lot of the acting is, to put it succinctly, just plain rotten. Three, the special FX are sometimes cheesy. Four, it's nearly impossible to suspend disbelief during the disappointing Scooby-Doo-like revelation of the real killer. And five, there is very little of the copious T&A offered in many low-low-budget horror films as compensation for the low, low production values.

Okay, so it's not going to appear on an AFI top-100 film list. Still, RETURN TO HORROR HIGH does have its moments. For example, some of the killings are staged in ways that are both creepy and humorous, the most notable being a decapitation that is done in silhouette, with the head rolling up into the air in subtle slow motion; and a little scene in which a cold-hearted and sadistic biology teacher gets dissected in much the same manner that he forced his students to cut up formaldehyde-saturated frogs. Another cool segment is a dream-within-a-dream piece in which the audience is just as surprised as the dreamer each time one scenario segues into another. That one is carried off quite skillfully, and the scene's ending leaves viewers with both chuckles AND goosebumps.

Also notable is the appearance of a few familiar faces. Cinematic heartthrob George Clooney fills a minor role in one of his early career jobs, and in an interesting casting choice, Maureen McCormick--better known to couch potatoes as Marcia Brady on TV's THE BRADY BUNCH--appears as an oversexed police woman who seems to get turned on by all the blood. Gravelly voiced Alex Rocco, ubiquitous character actor of TV and the silver screen, generates a few chuckles playing a lecherous movie producer. And fans of vintage TV should recognize Vince Edwards, the actor who came to fame playing the title character on the show BEN CASEY in the 1960s. Although she is a lesser-known actor with a smaller resume than those listed above, some movie buffs may also recognize Lori Lethin, who here plays one of the main protagonists in the film's "flashback" sequences. Not only is Ms. Lethin quite attractive, she does a pretty good job of acting, too.

As is almost always the case with Anchor Bay releases, the DVD offers a nearly pristine transfer of the movie. The disc does present the film in anamorphic widescreen, but other than the trailer, there are no bonus features. Considering the low retail price, lack of extras is no problem for those who want to add the disc to their collections. However, this release of a so-bad-it's-good film would have greatly benefited from the inclusion of a feature commentary with members of the cast or crew.

To recap, RETURN TO HORROR HIGH is, overall, a pretty poor film. But it's one of those awful films that is, under the right circumstances, just good enough that it's actually fun to watch, though it's just bad enough that you won't admit you watch it. For some genre fans, then, this film might be one of their guilty pleasures. If so, the Anchor Bay DVD will definitely be something those fans will want to pick up.

2-0 out of 5 stars A (very) poor man's "Scream"
Featuring George Clooney in an early role and Maureen McCormick (Marcia Marcia *Marcia* Brady) in a comeback role, of sorts. Also featuring a confusing metafictional plot, flat humor, and mostly bad acting. "Return" is yet another slasher-movie-about-slasher-movies. There were several of them made during the eighties, most of which now claim to have been the inspiration for "Scream." None of them were as good as that movie, however, and "Return" is no exception. Although the movie has its moments -- a scene of a cop creeping down a murky hallway whereabouts the killer may be lurking is tense -- there aren't enough of them to sustain the proceedings. If you watch just to see Clooney and McCormick, be forewarned that the former gets bumped off early (first, in fact), and despite a valiant effort McCormick's cop who gets turned on by all the carnage is a joke that just doesn't work.

3-0 out of 5 stars Scream: The beginning
While this is not by any means a great film, it does attempt to combine humor and horror in a way that predates the more famous "Scream". The film allows the characters to understand that they may be involved in a "horror film" plot and thus they attempt to act accordingly. Many of the jokes fall flat and the film as a whole is essentially a set-up for the fairly amusing payoff ending. For an early eighties "gore" film there is not much blood and those seeking such should look elsewhere. It is rather humorous to see an actor of George Clooney's "stature" earning his wings in this low budget horror. Overall, if you are up for a minor piece of fluff on a boring Saturday night, this will fit the bill. The DVD picture is good, a trailer is included but there are no other extras. A rental at best. ... Read more


9. Return to Horror High
Director: Bill Froehlich
list price: $9.99
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: B00005U13J
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 40439
Average Customer Review: 2.81 out of 5 stars
US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan

Reviews (16)

5-0 out of 5 stars Hey People! Satire here.
This movie has been getting such bad reviews, and I wrote this one to set the record straight, i guess (but excuse the corniness).
This movie was not meant to be a 'real' horror film, it is obviously a satire. Think of it as the first in the sub-genre that "Scream" sopposedly started, accept it's not as straight foward it it's mocking, accept in the leading woman's blatent complaints a couple times. Also the movie has a sorta predictable non-pedictable way about it. It's funny as hell, I mean the stuff that happens is SO absurd, and the police the department is stupid as anything. One of the best parts is that George Clooney is in it, and not even a lead role either.
Anyway this movie is a 'watch-if-you-want-to-laugh' type film, and keep in mind that it's a spoof.
*Note:the 5 stars are so people watch it, to boost the rating a bit

5-0 out of 5 stars Its a just-kidding horror movie
If I had to give this movie a rating on horror value it would rate as the worst scary movie I've ever seen in my entire life. However, this film has much more value than that. It is so painfully, horridly, terribly bad, that its good. Like pop-tarts so cool thier hot . . .first of all George Clooney and Marsha Bradey in a wicked low budget film is enough to make anyone chuckle. This movie also has a terrible plot, and the worst special effects I've ever scene. Its a classic worth viewing again and again. Its better than Cats.

2-0 out of 5 stars A Horror Comedy Has Never Been This...Dead
In spite of what the title implies, 1987's RETURN TO HORROR HIGH is not a sequel but is, instead, a tongue-in-cheek horror film that is intended as a spoof of the slasher sub-genre wildly popular during the 1980s. Interestingly, it predates Wes Craven's similarly themed (and excellent) SCREAM by almost 10 years. But RETURN TO HORROR HIGH doesn't even come close to Craven's magnum opus in terms of production quality, scares, or laughs.

The word RETURN in the title of this film is not just a deliberately misleading joke; it also is a reference to the film's plot. The story involves a group of filmmakers who have "returned" to Crippen High School to make a low-budget fictionalized horror movie about the "real" murders that occurred there 5 or so years earlier. Unfortunately for these movie-mogul wannabees, the killer was never caught, and when members of the cast and crew start getting offed one by one, it looks like history might be repeating itself....

Admittedly, RETURN TO HORROR HIGH is not an example of great horror filmmaking, not even as a spoof, especially when compared to later and better genre films that are both funny and scary--films like SCREAM (1986) and SCARY MOVIE (2000). Its primary failures? One, the flashback structure of the plot is not handled well, easily causing confusion for the average audience member. Two, a lot of the acting is, to put it succinctly, just plain rotten. Three, the special FX are sometimes cheesy. Four, it's nearly impossible to suspend disbelief during the disappointing Scooby-Doo-like revelation of the real killer. And five, there is very little of the copious T&A offered in many low-low-budget horror films as compensation for the low, low production values.

Okay, so it's not going to appear on an AFI top-100 film list. Still, RETURN TO HORROR HIGH does have its moments. For example, some of the killings are staged in ways that are both creepy and humorous, the most notable being a decapitation that is done in silhouette, with the head rolling up into the air in subtle slow motion; and a little scene in which a cold-hearted and sadistic biology teacher gets dissected in much the same manner that he forced his students to cut up formaldehyde-saturated frogs. Another cool segment is a dream-within-a-dream piece in which the audience is just as surprised as the dreamer each time one scenario segues into another. That one is carried off quite skillfully, and the scene's ending leaves viewers with both chuckles AND goosebumps.

Also notable is the appearance of a few familiar faces. Cinematic heartthrob George Clooney fills a minor role in one of his early career jobs, and in an interesting casting choice, Maureen McCormick--better known to couch potatoes as Marcia Brady on TV's THE BRADY BUNCH--appears as an oversexed police woman who seems to get turned on by all the blood. Gravelly voiced Alex Rocco, ubiquitous character actor of TV and the silver screen, generates a few chuckles playing a lecherous movie producer. And fans of vintage TV should recognize Vince Edwards, the actor who came to fame playing the title character on the show BEN CASEY in the 1960s. Although she is a lesser-known actor with a smaller resume than those listed above, some movie buffs may also recognize Lori Lethin, who here plays one of the main protagonists in the film's "flashback" sequences. Not only is Ms. Lethin quite attractive, she does a pretty good job of acting, too.

As is almost always the case with Anchor Bay releases, the DVD offers a nearly pristine transfer of the movie. The disc does present the film in anamorphic widescreen, but other than the trailer, there are no bonus features. Considering the low retail price, lack of extras is no problem for those who want to add the disc to their collections. However, this release of a so-bad-it's-good film would have greatly benefited from the inclusion of a feature commentary with members of the cast or crew.

To recap, RETURN TO HORROR HIGH is, overall, a pretty poor film. But it's one of those awful films that is, under the right circumstances, just good enough that it's actually fun to watch, though it's just bad enough that you won't admit you watch it. For some genre fans, then, this film might be one of their guilty pleasures. If so, the Anchor Bay DVD will definitely be something those fans will want to pick up.

2-0 out of 5 stars A (very) poor man's "Scream"
Featuring George Clooney in an early role and Maureen McCormick (Marcia Marcia *Marcia* Brady) in a comeback role, of sorts. Also featuring a confusing metafictional plot, flat humor, and mostly bad acting. "Return" is yet another slasher-movie-about-slasher-movies. There were several of them made during the eighties, most of which now claim to have been the inspiration for "Scream." None of them were as good as that movie, however, and "Return" is no exception. Although the movie has its moments -- a scene of a cop creeping down a murky hallway whereabouts the killer may be lurking is tense -- there aren't enough of them to sustain the proceedings. If you watch just to see Clooney and McCormick, be forewarned that the former gets bumped off early (first, in fact), and despite a valiant effort McCormick's cop who gets turned on by all the carnage is a joke that just doesn't work.

3-0 out of 5 stars Scream: The beginning
While this is not by any means a great film, it does attempt to combine humor and horror in a way that predates the more famous "Scream". The film allows the characters to understand that they may be involved in a "horror film" plot and thus they attempt to act accordingly. Many of the jokes fall flat and the film as a whole is essentially a set-up for the fairly amusing payoff ending. For an early eighties "gore" film there is not much blood and those seeking such should look elsewhere. It is rather humorous to see an actor of George Clooney's "stature" earning his wings in this low budget horror. Overall, if you are up for a minor piece of fluff on a boring Saturday night, this will fit the bill. The DVD picture is good, a trailer is included but there are no other extras. A rental at best. ... Read more


10. Challenge of the Superfriends - Attack of the Legion of Doom/United They Stand
Director: Ray Patterson, Carl Urbano
list price: $18.98
our price: $17.08
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: B0000E6FR1
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 11688
Average Customer Review: 4.38 out of 5 stars
US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan

Reviews (8)

5-0 out of 5 stars WAIT FOR THE BOX SET IN JULY 2004
Superfriends RULE!!! This is a good DVD, but in July they are releasing the complete frist season. Included in the 2 disc set are 16 episodes, and the extra's include:

Commentary on selected episodes
Saturday, Sleeping Bags & Super Friends: A Retrospective
Hall of Justice - character bios
Legion of Doom - character bios
Trailers - Batman: The Animated Series, The Jetsons: Complete First Season, The Flintstones: The Complete First Season, Jonny Quest: The Complete First Season.

Because it's only a 2 disc set, don't expect the price to be so high, so WAIT FOR IT!!!!

5-0 out of 5 stars Super Close
While I love these DVDs I would have liked to see WB follow the "complete seasons" trend that seems to be so popular as of late. I guess it's for the best, if they ever come out with the superfriends complete seasons and the hogan's heroes complete seasons I'll never get anything done! I guess I should just be thankful for this bone.

4-0 out of 5 stars The Plan 9 From Outer Space of cartoons -- wonderfully bad!
When I was a little kid, my brother and I loved the Superfriends.
Back in the mid 90s, the Cartoon Network started showing a lot of the old cartoons I used to watch when I was young, including the Superfriends. I tuned in for the nostalgia, and was shocked at how hilariously bad this cartoon is. Without a doubt, by far the worst made television I've ever seen. As far as I can tell, if they HAD editors, they were lobotomized, blind, or possibly in a coma.

Errors I can think of off the top of my head: Batman's chest logo vanishing and reappearing in mid scene; Superman's chest logo's colors inverting briefly; Hawkman's wings vanishing and reappearing at random; Green Lantern's eyes briefly moving from their normal place to his forehead (overlapping each other) and back again; characters who cannot fly flying for no apparent reason; Green Lantern being outside the Legion of Doom headquarters helping Superman rescue, amongst others, Green Lantern(!); the lesser Superfriends appearing and disappearing at random; Green Lantern drawn with THREE ARMS in one scene!

I HIGHLY recommend this to anyone who gets a kick out of making fun of bad television and movies, Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans, fans of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.

The season with the Legion of Doom is classically, astonishingly, mind-blowingly bad TV. The other seasons are pretty poor quality, but not quite bad enough to compare to this. I can't include a URL but google "Seanbaby superfriends" for sarcastic commentary on the show.

As far as the DVD itself goes: the transfer is a good quality, looking and sounding better than any television broadcast of the show I've seen. The extras are pretty slim, pretty much all you get is a brief intro to each episode by story editor (they had one?) Jeffrey Scott. For some reason he is under the delusion he was making great television. Apparently he never actually WATCHED the show.

5-0 out of 5 stars Great For Toddlers
My 3 y.o. son is fascinated with superheroes. I have purchased some spiderman, batman, superman, hulk cartoon videos and have been disappointed in the violence and adult dialogue. I even tried vhs tapes from the 60's and those were more violent than the comics today. So it was a great relief to find this pair of SuperFriends dvd's. There is little to none violence and the 'Friends promote teamwork and using their minds rather than brawn to beat the bad guys. If your toddler needs a superhero fix I strongly suggest these dvd's.

5-0 out of 5 stars We Want More!
I really wished that WB would release the seasoned sets for the SuperFriends and give them the type of treatment that is deserving. I'm so tired of hoping and hoping and only to be disappointed with a few here and a few there. I'm so tired of signing those petitions and waiting. So here's my message to you WB...give us Season DVD Complete Sets and please include the Season sets with the Wonder Twins!! ... Read more


11. Parasite
Director: Charles Band
list price: $14.98
our price: $13.48
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: B00006ADD9
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 40270
Average Customer Review: 3 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (3)

3-0 out of 5 stars Cheesy, oh so cheesy!
You would think Demi Moore's first film, the aptly titled "Parasite," would attract more attention from moviegoers. Actually, I accidentally saw a few minutes of Moore on one of those late night talk shows recently and the host "surprised" her with about thirty seconds of cheesy footage from this 1982 film. The actress took it all in good stride, giggling and squirming over her histrionic performance in the film. After having seen "Parasite" in its entirety, I would have to say Moore is one of the bright spots in the movie, a painful admission for me considering my dislike for most of this actress's work. What can you expect from a Charles Band film, though? Yep, the producer of such shlocky pap as "Laserblast," "Puppet Master," and "Blood Dolls" is the driving force behind "Parasite." As serious horror fans know, Band worked under the Empire Pictures label before starting Full Moon Productions several years later. Low budget cheese lovers have learned to adore many of Band's inept pictures; but then again, how can you ignore a guy who consistently used puppets, dolls, or midgets in his films. Band has some sort of fixation for miniatures, a mania put to good use here with the cheesy looking parasite thingies.

Set in the future world of 1992, "Parasite" tells the story of the hapless Doctor Paul Dean. Dean worked for the merchants, or minions of ruthless corporations whose goal is to turn the population of the United States into slaves. The doctor, who wrote a book on parasites, created a vicious type of organism for the merchants. Why? Who knows, but in the course of his work Dean becomes infected with one of these grotesque organisms and runs away from the merchants in order to seek a cure before it kills him. He heads to the small town of Joshua, located out in the desert, where he runs into a gang of miscreants led by an escaped merchant slave, an elderly hotel owner with a penchant for pancake makeup and huge wigs, a cranky gas station owner, a restaurant proprietor with a huge scar on his face, and Demi Moore. Moore, who of course will become the heroine of the film, grows lemons on a little farm outside of town. No one in town is particularly friendly to outsiders, especially one in as shaky and sweaty of a condition as the shambling Dean. The doctor knows he must work quickly if he is to kill the parasite before the merchants locate him and bring him back to the city.

But wouldn't you know it? Dean keeps another parasite in a metal container that the town thugs promptly steal and release with disastrous consequences. The parasite is a nasty looking creature, long and rubbery with huge teeth. The creature attaches itself to a person and proceeds to feed upon the victim until they turn into a shriveled up husk and die. Fortunately for Dean, the one residing in his abdomen is in hibernation due to periodic injections of some strange fluid. The doctor is the fortunate one since those unlucky enough to encounter the other parasite die in extraordinarily gruesome ways. Think John Hurt in "Alien," with the creature bursting out of stomachs and faces with the concomitant spray of saucy effects. The gore, more than any other element of "Parasite," helps move the film along.

We never learn just what went on in the outside world to bring about such an unfortunate series of events. One of the characters mentions in passing that he left New York City when the atomic debris raining out of the sky began killing people. We also notice that gasoline costs roughly fifty dollars a gallon, silver rather than paper currency is the only acceptable mode of exchange, and merchants carry around some cheesy looking laser wand that can cut off people's hands with seeming ease. Merchants also drive really nice Ferrari type cars with nifty doors that open upwards rather than outwards. It figures the corporate types would get all the perks in the future. The merchant who comes for Dean is a rough sort, a guy clad in a three piece suit who thinks little of slapping poor Demi around in order to get information. We learn from Dean that this is the guy who acted as liaison between the corporations and the government in the parasite program. The summary of the film sounds impressive, but almost nothing seems to happen in this movie. I had little idea what was going on until roughly forty-five minutes into the picture.

I kept thinking about Band's film "Laserblast" as I watched "Parasite." The two films share similar locales, both have a mysterious figure showing up and asking a lot of questions (the merchant here and a government agent in "Laserblast"), and both have some nice slow motion violence. In "Laserblast," we saw a lot of hilarious car explosions and fires from numerous camera angles. Regrettably, we don't see nearly enough of this type of action in "Parasite." Granted, we do get a funny slow motion fistfight scene in the beginning, along with a guy on fire towards the end, but no cars blow up here (probably due to a sluggish car market caused by the apocalypse). One thing we do get from this film is much better performances from the cast. All the actors do an acceptable, if occasionally goofy, job playing their parts. Moore stands out, not surprisingly, and even strikes a pose eerily reminiscent of her teary scene at the end of "Ghost" eight years later. "Parasite" is a worthwhile film for cheese lovers, although Moore fans might wish to avoid it and watch instead some of her (supposedly) worthier projects.

4-0 out of 5 stars parasite
Parasite is an awsome movie with one of the very best "face explosion" scenes ever. this movie doesn't drag and is a definite "sleeper" cult movie. plenty of gore and supprise as the monsters change as they grow leaving the viewer in the dark as to what's going to happen next. I wish they'd put this out on vhs.

2-0 out of 5 stars flat and cropped presentation of widescreen 3-D movie
This was released to theatres in 1982 in full color polarized 3-D and widescreen (using the clear grey glasses) and on a low budget level was kind of fun. It is interesting today as it was Demi Moore's first film. I bet she leaves it off her resume these days. This DVD is presented flat and the widescreen image is cropped to fit the TV screen. I think they should have released it letterboxed at least. The 3-D is the main reason to watch the film anyway, so this DVD isn't really worth owning in my opinion. Better to search out the 3-D widescreen tapes that are out there (unofficially?) ... Read more


12. Super Cops
Director: Gordon Parks
list price: $14.95
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: B0001Y4MO0
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 44456
US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan

13. Parasite
Director: Charles Band
list price: $9.98
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 6305078602
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 26976
Average Customer Review: 3 out of 5 stars
US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan

Reviews (3)

3-0 out of 5 stars Cheesy, oh so cheesy!
You would think Demi Moore's first film, the aptly titled "Parasite," would attract more attention from moviegoers. Actually, I accidentally saw a few minutes of Moore on one of those late night talk shows recently and the host "surprised" her with about thirty seconds of cheesy footage from this 1982 film. The actress took it all in good stride, giggling and squirming over her histrionic performance in the film. After having seen "Parasite" in its entirety, I would have to say Moore is one of the bright spots in the movie, a painful admission for me considering my dislike for most of this actress's work. What can you expect from a Charles Band film, though? Yep, the producer of such shlocky pap as "Laserblast," "Puppet Master," and "Blood Dolls" is the driving force behind "Parasite." As serious horror fans know, Band worked under the Empire Pictures label before starting Full Moon Productions several years later. Low budget cheese lovers have learned to adore many of Band's inept pictures; but then again, how can you ignore a guy who consistently used puppets, dolls, or midgets in his films. Band has some sort of fixation for miniatures, a mania put to good use here with the cheesy looking parasite thingies.

Set in the future world of 1992, "Parasite" tells the story of the hapless Doctor Paul Dean. Dean worked for the merchants, or minions of ruthless corporations whose goal is to turn the population of the United States into slaves. The doctor, who wrote a book on parasites, created a vicious type of organism for the merchants. Why? Who knows, but in the course of his work Dean becomes infected with one of these grotesque organisms and runs away from the merchants in order to seek a cure before it kills him. He heads to the small town of Joshua, located out in the desert, where he runs into a gang of miscreants led by an escaped merchant slave, an elderly hotel owner with a penchant for pancake makeup and huge wigs, a cranky gas station owner, a restaurant proprietor with a huge scar on his face, and Demi Moore. Moore, who of course will become the heroine of the film, grows lemons on a little farm outside of town. No one in town is particularly friendly to outsiders, especially one in as shaky and sweaty of a condition as the shambling Dean. The doctor knows he must work quickly if he is to kill the parasite before the merchants locate him and bring him back to the city.

But wouldn't you know it? Dean keeps another parasite in a metal container that the town thugs promptly steal and release with disastrous consequences. The parasite is a nasty looking creature, long and rubbery with huge teeth. The creature attaches itself to a person and proceeds to feed upon the victim until they turn into a shriveled up husk and die. Fortunately for Dean, the one residing in his abdomen is in hibernation due to periodic injections of some strange fluid. The doctor is the fortunate one since those unlucky enough to encounter the other parasite die in extraordinarily gruesome ways. Think John Hurt in "Alien," with the creature bursting out of stomachs and faces with the concomitant spray of saucy effects. The gore, more than any other element of "Parasite," helps move the film along.

We never learn just what went on in the outside world to bring about such an unfortunate series of events. One of the characters mentions in passing that he left New York City when the atomic debris raining out of the sky began killing people. We also notice that gasoline costs roughly fifty dollars a gallon, silver rather than paper currency is the only acceptable mode of exchange, and merchants carry around some cheesy looking laser wand that can cut off people's hands with seeming ease. Merchants also drive really nice Ferrari type cars with nifty doors that open upwards rather than outwards. It figures the corporate types would get all the perks in the future. The merchant who comes for Dean is a rough sort, a guy clad in a three piece suit who thinks little of slapping poor Demi around in order to get information. We learn from Dean that this is the guy who acted as liaison between the corporations and the government in the parasite program. The summary of the film sounds impressive, but almost nothing seems to happen in this movie. I had little idea what was going on until roughly forty-five minutes into the picture.

I kept thinking about Band's film "Laserblast" as I watched "Parasite." The two films share similar locales, both have a mysterious figure showing up and asking a lot of questions (the merchant here and a government agent in "Laserblast"), and both have some nice slow motion violence. In "Laserblast," we saw a lot of hilarious car explosions and fires from numerous camera angles. Regrettably, we don't see nearly enough of this type of action in "Parasite." Granted, we do get a funny slow motion fistfight scene in the beginning, along with a guy on fire towards the end, but no cars blow up here (probably due to a sluggish car market caused by the apocalypse). One thing we do get from this film is much better performances from the cast. All the actors do an acceptable, if occasionally goofy, job playing their parts. Moore stands out, not surprisingly, and even strikes a pose eerily reminiscent of her teary scene at the end of "Ghost" eight years later. "Parasite" is a worthwhile film for cheese lovers, although Moore fans might wish to avoid it and watch instead some of her (supposedly) worthier projects.

4-0 out of 5 stars parasite
Parasite is an awsome movie with one of the very best "face explosion" scenes ever. this movie doesn't drag and is a definite "sleeper" cult movie. plenty of gore and supprise as the monsters change as they grow leaving the viewer in the dark as to what's going to happen next. I wish they'd put this out on vhs.

2-0 out of 5 stars flat and cropped presentation of widescreen 3-D movie
This was released to theatres in 1982 in full color polarized 3-D and widescreen (using the clear grey glasses) and on a low budget level was kind of fun. It is interesting today as it was Demi Moore's first film. I bet she leaves it off her resume these days. This DVD is presented flat and the widescreen image is cropped to fit the TV screen. I think they should have released it letterboxed at least. The 3-D is the main reason to watch the film anyway, so this DVD isn't really worth owning in my opinion. Better to search out the 3-D widescreen tapes that are out there (unofficially?) ... Read more


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