Reviews (18)

What did this movie have against donkeys?
When the words "Roger Corman presents" comes on the screen, you know you're in for some thing. Unfortunately, what you're in for here is a bad plot and incomprehensible writing. The movie starts off with some European terrorists (we have to be politically correct, after all) attacking a military convoy guarding a truck carrying what they think is uranium and take it to an abandoned warehouse in a harbor. What's actually inside the truck are two genetically built velociraptors and a female T-rex. Incidentally, the great method of keeping these three animals secure is to blow cold air on them - and thats it. I guess defense budget cuts took away cages.

So a team of army special forces are sent in to recover the three dinosaurs. But they aren't TOLD what they're looking for because "That's classified" - which is like saying, "OK boys, we need you to kill this guy. Nope sorry, we can't tell you who, that's classified." Of course, it's not until AFTER the carnosaurs have killed two team members that the higher-ups say, "Oh yeah, by the way, you're up against three dinosaurs." By the way, they can't KILL the carnosaurs because apparently these things were bred to help stop disease. However, at no point in the movie are ever told WHAT disease these carnosaurs can cure, or WHY the government chose dinosaurs in the first place. The sharks in "Deep Blue Sea" were forgivable because the super-IQ was an unknown side-affect, but this is just ridiculous.

After many deaths, the characters say, "Hey! Here's an idea! Let's put them on a boat AND THEN try to capture them!" instead of saying, "Wait a minute, it's not the method that's failing us, it's the whole LOGIC." As predicted, this doesn't work either, and so they must resort to using C-4, which they suddenly have. I guess the C-4 fairy paid a visit or some thing, I don't know...

Usually a film like this can get by with a bad storyline, but this had some atrocious writing in it as well. The marine Johnson is a black marine, so he gets to say stereotype things like, "Take dis mutha fugga!" When the police storm into the empty warehouse and see five small body parts scattered around a big room their sergeant says, "Looks like a plane crashed through here!" And by the way...what was with all the donkey references?! You think I'm kidding? The colonel calls Polchek a "dumbass donkey" at the beginning of the movie, then there are two more donkey remarks while they're hunting the carnosaurs, and then at the end of the movie the girl marine says, "Johnson, if you see any thing bigger than a donkey, shoot it!" Did the writers have a thing for donkeys? What is this!?

There is ONE good scene though: while the female scientist is blabbing on about the features of the three carnosaurs, Polchek and Sanders are passing notes to each other and snickering the whole time. They were taking the film about as seriously as I was.

Unkillable Dinosaurs On The Rampage
Last week I rented Carnosaur 3. This is the third in the series but they do not seem to be really linked. Carnosaur was based, very loosely, on the book of the same name by Harry Adam Knight which then became the basis for JURASSIC PARK.

In this the third installment a group of terrorists attack a military convoy transporting class 4 materials. They were hoping for plutonium but found a tyrannosaurus rex and a pair of deinonychus. These beasts were meant to remain dormant in a refrigerated environment but, thanks to the terrorists, they are now free on a shipping pier. An anti-terrorist squad is brought in to capture the dinosaurs before they have a chance to breed. Someone decided to grow them as self-fertilizing hermaphrodites. It turns out they are nesting on a freighter so the military pulls out of the dock thus isolating the dangerous beasts. Unfortunately things do not go as planned.

This movie was better done than the first movie with better acting, better story and better continuity. If you like dinosaurs you will want to check out this movie.

MY FUNNY VALENTINE
Alright, just how many lemon sourballs did they have to give Scott Valentine to make him keep that Stallonish type sneer throughout the whole movie? In an obvious effort to shed his sitcom/family type roles, Valentine plays Rance like he just had two or three enemas and can't wait to get to the pottie. His performance is so ludicrously bad, he's enjoyable.
This third in the series was obviously tired, as they've never done the fourth. It' not grossly bad, just not as good as it could have been with a little more regard to plotting, pacing, and credibility. Janet Gunn tries to outdo Valentine in her role as the doctor determined to take the dinosaurs alive to study them and make unbelievable progress in curing diseases? Then halfway through the movie, she's a gun-toting soldier, obviously in heat with Valetnine, and she doesn't need her glasses either. Rick Dean's Polchek tries so hard for comic relief, but delivers his lines with such lethargy, you wonder what kept him propped up. Fortunately, Juliana Vail and Morgan Englund, as two marine grunts, give the picture some strength and credibility.
Roger Corman took over the helms of producer for this one, and his standard tacky touches are oh so evident.
It's a fun little movie in its own deranged way; the arm wrestling between Vail and Dean is so ridiculous, you can't help but laugh; here they are in the midst of killer dinosaurs and they want to show who's tougher, he or she.
Rent--don't buy, though.

Indestructible Primal species...
A Group Of Anti-terrorist forces are sent to eliminate some escaped flesh-eating carnosaurs in this predictable entry. features dumb dialogue, laughable acting but fans will sure enjoy this.

CARNOSAUR 3
iF YOU SEE THIS MOVIE AT THE STORE RENT IT. ITS ONE MOST FAVORITE OF ALL.BUT ITS ONLY 1HOUR25MINITES I WISH IT WAS LONGER

THATS ALL ... Read more

Reviews (5)

Olivier Gruner gets...to Mars
Caution Templar (Olivier Gruner) recieves a desperate message from his brother Ino and hurries to Mars. But, when he gets there he finds his brother is dead, and a mystery unfolds that could rock the sinister company that rules the planet to its core. Caution fights his way to the truth in a battle that threatens to turn the Red Planet red with blood.

The first time I viewed this movie, on VHS, I didn't like it at all, I thought it was very poorly done and I gave it a 2/5 high-score. Recently though, I picked it up on DVD and noticed behind Olivier Gruner's bad dubbing, making him sound like a dumb body-builder, there is a great action movie. The plot maybe nothing special but this movie has more fighting
than any movie Olivier has been in. From hand-to-hand fights to gun fights, this movie has it all. Olivier really shows that he has the skill to be a real action-star in this movie.

One downfall of the movie is its special effects, mainly at the beginning. When Caution arrives on Mars the ship looks like something out of a computer game from 1995. Where Velocity Trap had great special effects and decent fights, Mars has great fights and okay special effects.

Overall, this movie is worth seeing, the only real down turns in my oppinion are the bad dubbing and special effects, along with some pointless sex-scenes. The DVD transfer is pretty good as well, the DVD does come with a Trailer and Cast Bios, which is more than some other DVDs we have seen.

Dumb as they come.
You know a movie is trash when the main actor's voice is dubbed by someone else. The best actor in this film is David Hyde White as our uber-bad guy. Everyone else makes me think that even I could do a better job. The characters are one dimensional, unlikeable, and are really just there to provide an excuse for Olivier Gruner to kick some [butt]. What a waste!
I've seen better from Gruner too. Try 'Nemesis' or 'Automatic'. At least he gets to use his own voice!

Slow moving Sci-fi/Martial arts action
Its not the worst movie in the world.Oliver Gruner acting is one of his best to date as he dosen't say much.....thankfully.Its a good buy for Martial arts fans but Sci-fi fans are left expecting more.

Mars
This is the most wasted time movies in my life of 30+ yrs. Buy this video now and regret forever!

Mars
Nice action for Olivier, decent plot but lacks a good script, and Olivier's voice for some strange reason, does not sound at all like him. ... Read more

Reviews (3)

three TV episodes edited into a movie
Three episodes of the show were edited together to make this movie for folks like me. I enjoyed Black Scorpion 1 and 2, but I hadn't seen the show. Sting gave me a chance to see what I'd missed. I watched and ended up enjoying it. Michelle Lintel is a doll. Scott Valentine is well cast. Frank Gorshin is superb. Sting really grew on me. I ultimately bought the complete TV show, but it made Sting obsolete. The same three episodes are included in that set too. I think the complete series is a great buy. You might want to get that instead of Sting. It's more expensive, but a great collection for Scorpion fans.

The TV show, Inspired by Movies, Becomes a Movie
Michelle Lintel revisits her television role as the crime fighter Black Scorpion. While this is a movie, it plays like three television episodes placed end to end. The film opens with her undercover and running into another undercover cop. The other cop becomes her new partner. He transferred in specifically so he could catch Black Scorpion.

Black scorpion must first go up against Firearm, a villain with a gun for an arm. He is after the mayor because of a gun bill that was passed.

Next Black Scorpion blinds a photographer who becomes Flashpoint, a villain bent on exposing Black Scorpions identity.

Finally she must go against Clockwise, a villain improperly jailed for twenty-five years. Now that he is out he wants vengeance on all those who did him wrong (Frank Gorshin does an excellent job as this villain).

At the film's end, you do not feel like you have watched a movie, but a television show. Nowhere near as good as the original film. The fighting is more professional wrestling than martial arts and the banter, especially in the Firearm battles, is so bad you have to hear it. Still, it is some reasonably good and fun crime fighting.

"Sting ( 2002) offers similiar Plot with a few new tricks!
This is the 3rd installment of the Black scorpion Movie series. First there was the "The Black Scorpion and then there was B.S Part II (Aftershock). Out of the 3 I would have to say "Aftershock" still remains my favorite. "Sting of the Black Scorpion" is a 2002 Film....Also "Michelle Lintel" from the T.V series is the "Black Scorpion" not "Joan Severance" in this film. Although I thought Joan did better in the first two feature films conveying the part, Michelle definitley looks better. "Sting" is basically a reproduction of the first two films but is unconvincing. Why? because none of the same actors are in the film. To Replace one character is one thing, but to replace all is another. Even "Arguile" was a different actor her accompass. The only thing that was really a surprise in this film is that her "Scorpion Mobile" was destroyed and she got a New Model White Corvette to roll with. And when it transformed, the "Scorpion Mobile" was better equipped with a new look with some new tricks. Basically the story line was quite similiar to the previous two films. There was 3 villians in this film..FireArm, Clockwise & Blinder or something like that. Well anyway she had to defeat these guys before they took over "The City Of Angels. The film is very Quirky as the others whre in the past. And offers alot of action comedy..which is definitley worth the purchase.You will laugh throughout this silly irony althrough this film. "Roger Corman" didn't fell on his attempt to reserect the movie franchise with this 3rd installment.

Arish ... Read more

Reviews (7)

A sleeper of a film
This film is more brooding than bloodletting. A vampire with Angst decides to tell his woes to a beautiful Charile (are they real?) Spralding (she's just as beautiful in Meridian: Kiss of the Beast).

He's about to bite her, then tells her of his woes. Then he's just about to bite her, & he decides he's a few more woes to tell about. This continues for the rest of the film till they finally 'do it' in a scene that I beleive is only PG-rated.

It must be tough to be a vampire. It was tough watching this film.

An Unusual Vampire Film
Here we find Scott Valentine playing a vampire who goes out searching for somebody who wishes to die when his bloodlust finally gets so strong he can't put off killing any longer. This time he chooses a [prostitute] who seems to be at the end of her rope. As it turns out, the [prostitute] is more than a handful and a bizarre friendship is born. At the end of the night, one of them will end up with a new will to live and one of them will die . . . but which one will live? It's and engaging film if you like the brooding type of vampires and it's set in modern times. It's certainly not of the caliber of some of the better known films in the genre but I'd nonetheless recommend it for your vampire film collection.

A gem of a film...for some.
This is absolutely one of my all-time favorite films, and it's difficult to explain why. It's not a porn flick though one of the protagonists happens to be a stripper (well-played by Charlie Spradling) and yes, there's nudity. Ultimately the film explores two troubled people; a lonely vampire and a suicidal dancer. Like a cult film, it may not appeal to the general public, but will resonate nonetheless with those able to appreciate what the story's really about.

Under Rated Vampire Flic
From the reviews I read on this movie I was expecting typical B movie fair. Yes it's B movie, but high end B. Resonable acting, interesting plot line, and novel twist on the vampire story. Personally I enjoy varity and like vampire movies which dare to play with the conventions. I wonder at the reviews which call this soft porn. This is only mildly erotic in my opinion. Most main stream films have more sex and show more flesh. Watch this because you like vampire flics not for an erotic thrill.

A watchable "B" movie for a night with your partner
This is what I would call soft porn. Being a vampire buff myself I rather enjoyed the mix of eroticism and vampirism. Now don't get me wrong - this is definitely a "B" movie. We're not talking grammy nominations here. But if you like vampire movies and feel like a night in with your honey, this may be for you. Warning: some parts of the plot go extremely slow and the acting is a bit weak - but all in all it's certainly not the worst movie I've ever viewed. My advice - rent, don't buy, and give it a try. ... Read more

Reviews (4)

SLICK AND DIFFERENT
PARANOIA focuses on a young woman who witnessed the senseless murder of her family by a demented madman named Calvin Hawkes. Because she saw a brilliant light at the time, she is now afraid of the light, not the dark. She has become an interior designer, pretty much a recluse in her darkened apartment, having psychiatric sessions with a doctor on her computer. Into her life resurfaces a young man she grew up with, a hunky football player who admits he was interested in her, but felt she was unapproachable. And now, the woman is receiving instant message conversations with the imprisoned Hakes, who is threatening her, and saying he will get her like he did her family. She calls the prison and after some obstacles, discovers that Hawkes is getting out on probation. This just begins the miasma of plot twists writer/director Larry Brand serves up.
I liked this movie because it's simple, not overly gory and melodramatic. Brigitte Bako as the heroine is very convincing; Sally Kirkland does a nice cameo as the psychiatrist; Robert Floyd is a nice combination of machismo and sensitivity; and of course, Larry Drake is cool as the mad executioner. It is by no means a flashy movie, and it's cool atmosphere makes it a haunting movie.

I liked it
My husband rented this movie a couple years ago. We were pleasantly surprised. The stalker plays a very convincing, creepy role. You will want to see his victims vindicated and will cheer the main character as she takes matters into her own hands.

Don't confuse this one with the "giallo" original
No, this is not the sleazy-awful-fun Carroll Baker 'Giallo' thriller from Italy with the same title (in Italy the title was "Orgasmo") released in 1968 that had a rich widow captive in her own mansion to her sexually menancing gardener and his bisexual girlfriend, listening to groovy Piero Umilani music while they wrapped her up in mind-and-sex games. I guess if you've completely run out of grade B thrillers to watch, this 1998 release rates OK. Decent technical, but the storyline is tired, and it has been done better.

Not Scary, Not Original, & Not Worth Your Time...
This film looks like an old slasher film from the 80s, but really it is lowbudget horror flick made only 2 years ago. A stalker terrorizes a poor, innocent victim, but the poor, innocent victim decides to get him back for killing her family. This is an okay storyline, you might be saying, but it is executed so poorly it isn't even close to scary (or interesting for that matter). Save yourself some time and do not view this movie. ... Read more

Description

A mysterious wrong number leads Margaret on a journey that takes her to the edge of sexual desire and obsession. One phone call leads her into an affair with a stranger who fills her nights with games and passion. Soon the games escalate into a terrifying kidnapping--but never underestimate a woman cornered, as Margaret plots her revenge in a shocking conclusion you'll never forget. ... Read more

Reviews (1)

I really liked the surprise ending.
A man, probably calling women whose names are in the phone book, finds one who, just divorced, is in need of sexual validation. She learns his game and turns the tables. ... Read more