Reviews (2)

Simply Entertaining!
Of course these films are not high class movie entertianment. The title is Barbarian Queen for goodness sake! But they are super enjoyable in the bad movie vein. What we get here is is the beautiful Lana Clarkson (Rest In Peace) participating in some poorly staged sword fights and giving us some of the best "bad" one liners in film history as she goes on various quests. These films are definitly not for everyone, but if you find guilty pleasure in bad low budget 80's flicks such as Deathstalker, you will find enjoyment in the Barbarian Queen flicks, especially getting both films in one set! These are great films to watch with a group of friends on a slow Friday night.

Simply Terrible
In the early 1980s Roger Corman unleased a large number of [poorly made] barbarian films in order to cash in on the success of the Conan movies. They sure have not improved with age.

In the first of the two films on this DVD, the Barbarian Queen (played by Lana Clarkson) is about to get married when an evil tyrant comes along and slaughters everyone, and raping and general exploitation ensues. The Barbarian Queen, who of course escapes, meets up with other angry young women who team up with her to get revenge. Such a plot could provide the makings of a guilty pleasure, but it completely fails to deliver. Most of this film is taken up by people walking around and talking to each other. The only thing good that can be said about this film is that it is not quite as bad as the barbarian films Sybil Danning made for Harry Alan Towers (or was it Fred Olen Ray?), but even the horrendous Italian Ator films (one can be found on the second MST3000 collection) at least managed to mix in an iota of imagination along with sheer boredom.

In Barbarian Queen 2, Lana Clarkson plays a descendant of her character in the first film. Her throne is taken from her by an evil tyrant who keeps her alive because he wants a powerful magical sword which is floating around in a magical protective barrier in one of the castle's rooms, and only Lana knows the spell necessary to wield it without bursting into flames. It only occurs to her to free the sword for her own use near the end the film (and even then doesn't really use it). Therefore much of the movie is taken up by the tyrant trying to convince Lana to hand over the bloody sword already. There is one scene in a torture chamber which is interesting in a twisted sort of way, and there is a subplot which is good for some laughs about an evil preteen girl who plans to get married to a guard who is in his early 30s, and he goes along with her romantic advances because she is in line to inherit the throne when she grows up. There is also an interesting twist at the end of the film. For these reasons I considered giving this second film something closer to 2 stars, but, naaah, not quite.

Maybe some people who like other schlocky Corman barbarian films such as Deathstalker will be able to somehow sit through this double feature. ... Read more

Amazon.com

Warrior woman Lana Clarkson (Deathstalker) survives the massacreof her little village (on the eve of her marriage to a tribal prince) and vowsrevenge. Surrounding herself with an estrogen brigade of female fighters, shemakes quick work of the marauders before moving on to the city to lead thebrewing rebellion against the evil king. Don't think for a second that this isabout empowered women: every female character is raped or molested in thepicture. Ostensibly directed by Héctor Olivera (Funny Dirty LittleWar), this silly, badly dubbed, shot-in-Argentina production is full ofgratuitous nudity and slapdash but serviceable action and is enlivened largelyby Clarkson's charisma and energy. Much of the marvelous music is cribbed fromJames Horner's lush Battle Beyond the Stars score. Clarkson returns inthe sequel, Barbarian Queen II: The Empress Strikes Back. --SeanAxmaker ... Read more

Reviews (5)

"Bondage Scene" NOT COMPLETE!
I just got my copy of the DVD R-Rated version and yes the best parts of the bondage scene are missing. Why those edit happy bozos would remove the lower body scenes showing the actresses powerful legs around her captor and leave the breasts showing is beyond me. Since this scene is most appealing in the way the Original version first displayed it in 85, to take it out in my opinion degrades the movie entirely. I was completely dissapointed in this version of the movie. If anyone saw the unrated 1985 Vhs version you would know what I mean. Lana was the movie. Why remove it????? I have [not a] clue!!! Unsatisfied customer.

For those looking to upgrade their VHS copy
There are two forms of the movie on VHS. The R rated one and the Unrated one. The DVD is of the R rated version. The only difference is in the Lana Clarkson bondage scene (which, if you ask me, is the best scene in the movie). Something is missing in the R rated version. Benefits to getting the DVD? Immediately go to your favorite scene. On top of that, the picture clarity is much MUCH better than your old beat-up tape.

About the movie? Well, I'm about as big a cinema snob as you can get without being a professional film critic. I love the classic film-makers. Kurosawa, Kubrick, Keaton, Ford, Wilder, Hitchcock, etc. But I really like this movie. It is one of the best B movies out there. What's so great about a B movie? I think it's intent. B movies are obvious. They know exactly what they are and what they can do. They are there for a little action, a little adventure, some blood and guts, some T and A. They don't try to be anything more than that. That's why they are my guilty little pleasure.

You want a good B movie? Get this one, if you can. But if you have the unrated VHS, you might want to have second thoughts about this purchase. But then again, it's 10 bucks. Why not?

Beautiful BAD Movie
I would say that this movie is ... good. This is definitely going to keep u watching from beginning to end as u count the number of times the actresses are [exploited].

Not Deathstalker but very good
I like the barbarian queen movies as much as I like the mid deathstalker sequels not touching the first or 4th one but as good is about 2 & 3 of deathstalker I wish they would take it easy on the rape scenes .....a little t&a but god all in all not bad

B Movie...what could you expect?
Well, let's put it bluntly: it's a B Movie. Meaning? for a B Movie to be such, there would usually be 3 main caracteristics: 1- low budget, 2- There will always be a naked (or half naked) woman scene, 3- It's just made to watch that woman scene. So, that pretty much sums up what the movie is mostly about, thus, if it fits your needs, go for it. As far as the story line goes, it's too stupid to even mention. One only thing I can say about it that lifts the mood of the observer: Lana Clarkson. The main character of the movie, an Amazonian looking women who likes to wield a sword and kill rapists. Unfortunately, not strong enough to take on an army, she's captured and taken to a "torture" room. In which, we happen to see the then-23-year-old blonde babe with her boobs in the air, strapped in a wooden table, being "tortured" by a small, ludicrous looking guy with equaly ridiculus glasses. Now, I must add, from any other b-movie, this one is probably the one that has the longest bondage scene, and, had the producers been a little more flirtatious, the closest to a 2x movie. So that single part is probably the whole reason to watch the movie, no more, no less. Advantages of the DVD version? just put the disk in, go to the chapter you need to see, enjoy, and then get out of it. No need to rewind or fast forward the tape for hours when you just need to see 5 minutes of the movie, right? Well, that pretty much ends my need to talk here. Having said all this, the purchase I leave to you. ... Read more

Reviews (3)

Oh, The Humanity!
Don't you just love a good science fiction/action film? You know, one of those movies about a bunch of people zooming around the cosmos in a spaceship who suddenly find themselves in some type of trouble requiring them to land on an unfriendly planet, asteroid, base, moon, or some other celestial body? If you do love those types of movies, and I know I do, then avoid "Convict 762" like the plague. Oh, this movie follows the formula to a T, but "Convict 762" ranks as one of the most boring, illogical, downright idiotic science fiction films to come across my television screen in some time (and that's saying A LOT). Why anyone made this straight to video clunker is beyond me. Somebody named Luca Bercovici directed this dreck, just in case you want to know who is to blame for this nearly two-hour catastrophe. Yep, "Convict 762" is that bad, failing on nearly every level of moviemaking imaginable.

The plot: a shipload of ladies flying through space accidentally, due to the incompetence of a crew member, flies into an asteroid field where the ship loses a large amount of its fuel in a collision. Since they no longer have enough power to get back to base, the captain of the vessel, named Niles and played by Shannon Sturges, decides to land at a penal colony in order to repair and refuel the ship. There is a lot of grumbling about this decision, with some blather about other ships avoiding this place like the plague, but Niles throws caution to the wind and heads into disaster. As the ship drifts down to the prison, the crewmembers spot two guys fighting each other in weird spacesuits. Failing to raise anyone on the radio, intrepid Captain Niles continues on, managing to break up the fight by bumping one of the guys with the space ship (!) before landing. Soon there is some story about a prison riot resulting in massive fatalities because "convict 762" went on a rampage. References made throughout the movie speak about how this convict is beyond human in his capacity for killing, he's death, he's disease, and all that stuff. Needless to say, Niles and company pick up both of these guys without any idea which one is 762. That's what the whole movie revolves around: who is convict 762 and will the crew discover the truth before he goes on another killing spree.

The biggest problem with "Convict 762," apart from the terrible acting, atrocious script, molasses-like pacing, and cheesy CGI effects, is the infinite stupidity shown by Niles and the crew. This movie simply possesses no logic to speak of, as Niles repeatedly makes decisions that are the height of idiocy. When the killings start, she blithely sends crewmembers off to their deaths by letting people separate from the group. One member of the ship's crew is a real troublemaker, but Niles continually lets her roam about so she can cause further havoc on her fellow shipmates. The worst decision Niles makes occurs at the end of the film, and is so moronic that I simply could not believe my eyes. It is obvious the director threw this in just so the film could have a little nudity. "Convict 762" reeks of inanity from top to bottom.

The question that continually arose in my mind while I watched this movie (it should have been "why am I watching this?") was why Billy Drago agreed to co-star in this wretched project. If you are familiar with Drago, and you will be as soon as you see him, he always plays great onscreen villains. In "Convict 762," he plays Mannix, one of the guys Niles picks up from the penal colony. Usually, Drago is fascinating to watch, but here he is largely wasted in an unsatisfying role. By the way, how is it possible for Mannix to be on fire for nearly five minutes and then suddenly arise, ready for combat? Maybe I should not ask questions that have no answers. The other guy character, Frank Zagarino, is downright offensive to even the basest sensibilities in the role of Vigo. In fact, every character endlessly grated on my nerves. There is a scene in one of the "Wayne's World" films where Garth hears a Kenny G song and undergoes a flashback about a painful trip to the dentist. When I think about "Convict 762" now, I have a slightly different type of flashback, a flashback to grade school when a fellow student raked his fingernails down a chalkboard. That's the only sensation I can equate with viewing "Convict 762."

Will Niles and company escape the wrath of convict 762? I didn't care if anyone made it in the end and neither will you after surviving this film. Actually, I would rather fight convict 762 armed only with a Q-Tip than watch this movie again. This picture is just a bad, unentertaining quagmire of a movie that should deeply offend anyone who appreciates the science fiction genre. There are good, low budget sci-fi films out there, but one usually has to wade through movies like this to find them. What a shame.

Drago Menacing As Ever in "Convict"
Actor Billy Drago (Deadly Heros, Freeway) has been making movies since the 80's. He is type-casted as a subtle psychotic killer with unique behaviors that he has made his signature. For fans, he is a guaranteed good time in the bizarre behavior department. He remains true to his craft in "Convict 762". The movie has good casting, Frank Zagarino (Never Say Die) and Shannon Sturges (Tornado!), who use their air time well in this deadly game of cat-and-mouse. There's good action in this low-budget sci-fi thriller and it keeps the viewer entertained and wondering what's what. This movie is worth the time and a must have for Mr. Drago fans and sci-fi lovers.

A so-so sci-fi thriller that's 20 minutes too long
'Convict 762' centers on a scavenger starship crew that consists entirely of beautiful women that's forced to seek out a penal colony (insert pun here) in order to refuel. They discover the colony has been all but destroyed by a riot, and that one of the two surviving men is a dangerous prisoner known as Convict 762. The heroines and the plot stumble along from this point.

While 'Convict 762' has okay special effects and set construction for what is most assuredly a low-budget effort, pretty good actiing all around, and delivers some tense moments, these positives are overwhelmed by insipid dialogue and characters who behave in such idiotic fashion that there is no doubt they are natural blondes.

Of course, characters behaving stupidly in movies where monsters and killers are stalking them is not unusual for a film. However, 'Convict 762' goes well beyond the boundaries of what is typically found. One of the main characters behaves so stupidly in the last 10-20 minutes of the film that I knocked a star off for it.

If you think you might enjoy a film that's an 'Alien'-light packed with braless women in tank-tops but burdened with a failed effort to deliver a Message, you might consider ordering this one. However, I advise you to stop the tape after the scene in sickbay, following the fight in the cargo bay and just picture in your mind's eye that the space ship takes off and flies away. While you'll miss a gratuitous love scene, you will come away with a much better impression of how good this film is.

Watch it to the end at your own peril. You'll never get those minutes of your life back. ... Read more

Reviews (3)

very good!
this movie is very good!
This is by No Limit Movies.

Could have been worse, but it could have been far better
Part of the reason why I like this movie is because I expected it to be terrible. I had never seen a Master P film before, so my expectations were VERY, VERY low. However, it was not quite as bad as I expected. Gary Daniels is the main star of the film, despite the fact that he gets far less credit than he deserves. Don't see this movie for its plot, acting, or direction. The ONLY reason to see this movie is for some of the action sequences. I was disappointed becaus Gary Daniels is an excellent martial artist, yet he displays no martial arts skill in this film. However, there are some other entertaining action sequences to view. Within the first 10 minutes, there is a nice action scene involving a flamethrower and a rocket launcher. The next good action scene comes halfway through the film, where one character fills an office building with bullets. This scene is done in a very John Woo-type fashion, with lots of slow-motion, and the use of dual golden pistols (just like Nicolas Cage's guns in Face/Off). These two action scenes are the reason to see this movie. Otherwise, this movie should be avoided at all costs. I gave this film its 2 stars for those 2 action scenes, and because it turned out to be better than I expected (then again, I had the lowest expectations possible).

cruelty to actors
The star of this movie is Gary Daniels. He is the only actor in all of the scenes. For some reason his name was omitted from the title which has three very minor charicters.

With that said this movie has no fight scenes dispite starring several brilliant martial atists. It is about a man who is coaxed into swiching numbers around for a secret agency for fast money. when things get tough for the big boys he shows them how he can save the say with quick thinking and no fists. I think about the first 30 minutes had okay writing and the rest of the movie was sloppy first draft type material. For instance, three times in the movie the whole plot is stopped to show a rap music video that has no relivance to anything going on. they could just as well have played parts of steamboat willy for a minute at a time. there was potential in this movie as a fighting type,(gary daniels is the greatest martial artist and they wasted him) but there were too many twists that they wanted to fit in and nothing was given proper timeing or effort. the actors were good but they were all given very weak charicters to work with. I have more sypathy for the actors than anger.

Do not buy this movie. let it just rest in our hearts as one of the tortures that good acters must endure to make it in this world ... Read more

Reviews (1)

It's [weak], yet I still bought it (ask me why)
I was first introduced to "AirBoss" at[weak] screen play, political incorrectness (not that that's necessarily a bad thing), and a plethora of military inaccuracies. Yet, I couldn't look away, nor stop laughing. Too bad Mystery Science Threatre 3K isn't still on the air. ... Read more

Description

After a fed up scientist destroys a flying attack laser powered by AI, he hires a pair of Special Forces vets for protection. When he and his daughter are kidnapped, the vets must carve their way through heavily armed killers to save them. ... Read more

Reviews (1)

Moments Of Clarity
There are scenes within this film that individually stand out and could compete with Hollywood's best. Unfortunately, there are other moments that make little or no sense, seem out of context and at times contradictory. Were there two directors? Was there even one? Someone in Hollywood must be asking themselves "What Happened?" on this wayward sci-fi adventure. Oh yeah, there's also very little sci-fi, or adventure. But for moments of clarity, and moments of New Mexico beauty, this is a decent film. ... Read more

Description

His arrival, your departure. After 5,000 years in the African desert, the crashed alien android comes back to life with a mission of murder. Two scientists hold the answer to stopping this human terminating machine as he stalks with superhuman vengeance. ... Read more

Reviews (1)

Orion's Key
Suspenseful, gripping film that has interesting twists avoiding cliche. A bit unique for a movie that has little promotional presence and therefore a pleasant surprise. Similar to a good book on the same topic. It seems to have some budget aspects but has a good (even plausible) story and is well presented with thought provoking elements. ... Read more

Reviews (7)

Just Shoot Me!
The title indicates a genre populated by movies such as "Armageddon" (seriously funny Bruce Willis) or "Deep Impact" (straight to the end of the World - almost). Well, only the title could indicate quality. The characters are cast in a grey, two-dimensional plot which offers nothing but repeated yawns. I actually didn't manage to view through in one night. As for technical quality on DVD: Forget it!

NOT RECCOMENDED
DO NOT CONFUSE THIS MOVIE WITH ONE BY THE SAME NAME ABOUT THE END TIMES. IT IS NOT THE SAME MOVIE. NOT A GOOD MOVIE, NO POINT TO IT.

You Have Got To Be Kidding!
Mindless, numbing garbage -- plain and simple. Don't get ripped off by wasting money on this completely ridiculous FLIM!

Possibly the Worst Sci-Fi Movie Ever Made!
A worthless plot combine with truly awful acting in the dazzling rendition of mindlessness. If I had anything to do with this ridiculous waste of celluloid I would shoot myself. It gets 1 star mainly because there is no selection for "zero". Pass this one up unless you need something to wedge a table leg.

ONE STAR IS TOO MUCH
I am a huge Sandra Berhard fan, but honey, this is the worst movie ever! Sandra is terribly miscast as a spaceship captain, and Laura San Giacomo is a horrible mess as a Shakespeare crazed computer terrorist. This is blackmail material for all involved! ... Read more

Reviews (1)

It's [weak], yet I still bought it (ask me why)
I was first introduced to "AirBoss" at[weak] screen play, political incorrectness (not that that's necessarily a bad thing), and a plethora of military inaccuracies. Yet, I couldn't look away, nor stop laughing. Too bad Mystery Science Threatre 3K isn't still on the air. ... Read more

Description

The cold war just heated up. Someone in Russia is selling live nuclear warheads to terrorists all over the world, and only Rod Armstrong (Zagarino) can find the culprits. Taking over this top secret mission started by his recently murdered friend, Robert (Napier), Armstrong teams up with his widow, Susan (Kates), to find the killers and expose the black marketeers. From the crime-ridden streets of Moscow to the isolation of the nuclear weapons depot, the murder and mayhem are non-stop. Both Rod and Susan face gangsters and military might in their efforts to end the terrible, world-threatening trade. In the ultimate showdown, with the threat of a nuclear explosion counting down the final seconds, Rod and Susan lead the action to its hellbent conclusion. ... Read more