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1. Like Water for Chocolate
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2. A Walk in the Clouds
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3. The Magnificent Ambersons
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4. A Painted House
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5. Picking Up the Pieces
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6. A Walk in the Clouds
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7. Picking Up the Pieces
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8. A Walk in the Clouds (En Espanol)
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9. Calzonzin Inspector
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10. Calzonzin Inspector

1. Like Water for Chocolate
Director: Alfonso Arau
list price: $14.99
our price: $11.24
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 6305428476
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 1113
Average Customer Review: 4.33 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (98)

5-0 out of 5 stars Superb - One of the Great Foreign Language Films of Our Time
A thrilling, intoxicating masterpiece, "Like Water for Chocolate" will leave you hungry, happy and hung over with its surreal vision and unforgettable performances. Some of the film's charm lies in its uncompromising vision of what it must be like to be a poor, Mexican woman, surrounded by angry sisters and petty jealousies. The food is a miracle of texture and authenticity that makes the book a recipe lover's dream. But the spiritual aspects of the movie take it someplacve else altogether....by tying food and unseen forces together, the author and director have fashioned love as a cycle of human emotion coupled with betrayal and passion. Believers and non-believers alike are asked to suspend judgement and just BE with this movie, for it raises issues and themes rarely imagined or acheived on film. A few sequences are startling - such as a wedding party where every guest is gastronimically infected by a soup that is stewed with the tears of our protagonist, and they all end up regurgitating the mixture, and in the end, understanding that true love should not be gambled away for money or superiority. Another sequence, where the middle daughter Gertudis, is literally kidnapped by a horse riding gunslinger while she sits alone in an outhouse doing her business, is hysterical, yet also painful to watch, because it symbolizes the woman's need for free choice in a world where men have so much of the power. Besides, any couple who has eloped or married without their parent's blessings will quickly make the connection to their own experience. If you can keep up with the subtitles, I'd advise against a dubbed version, for in its Spanish - eloquent, funny and dramatic - the film c aptures its truest form of communication. And food as metaphor - used in other terrific fims like "Babette's Feast" - has never been presented in such an awe inspiring manner. This is a feast to be savored every step of its delectible way.

5-0 out of 5 stars A passion for cooking and romance!!!
This has to be one of my all time favorite foreign films. I loved the book and I think the movie is equally good. The story is set around a young woman named Tita, who according to an unfair family tradition, must care for her overbearing, demanding mother. Because of this, she is unable to marry the young man she has fallen in love with and transfers her passion into the meals she prepares(with very interesting results!). Based on the book by Laura Esquivel and directed by her husband at the time (Alfonso Arau, who also directed the Keanu Reeves movie, "A Walk in the Cloud") this film is a captivating fairy tale that is sure to entertain.

5-0 out of 5 stars a feast of the 5 senses, come to life
after you watch this movie, you will either want to eat, cook (preferably one of the mentioned recipes), make love or all three! i saw the version dubbed in spanish, and also read 3 selected chapters from the book, for spanish class. it's a work of art and genius, and it must be watched all the way through without stopping. the characters are excellently portrayed, and it combines love, feminism, drama, sensuality, lust, hope, passion, and humour, topped with cultural tradition and folklore. i don't know which one is better, the book or the movie. all of the 5 senses are provoked on a deep and perhaps even primal level, especially taste and smell, feverishly yearning for a sum greater than their overall parts (gestalt) - which brings up the sixth sense, intuition.

4-0 out of 5 stars Like Water For Chocolate
In the novel, "Like Water for Chocolate," I found it very interesting that two young people, Tita and Pedro fell deeply in love and they could never marry each other. The best part about the book was that they had to hide their feelings from everyone but they knew they loved each other deep inside their hearts. I liked the fact that they loved each other until the day they died and they died making love to each other. I strongly recommend this book to other people.

5-0 out of 5 stars Like water for chocolate!
This is a very sensual movie about two lovers who could not be together. I loved it and would watch it again and again. ... Read more


2. A Walk in the Clouds
Director: Alfonso Arau
list price: $19.98
our price: $17.98
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Asin: B00006ZXSI
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 6530
Average Customer Review: 4.09 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (81)

5-0 out of 5 stars A beautiful romance
People often seem eager to criticize Keanu Reeves' acting and give negative reviews of his films unless they are action driven. This film was not a huge box office smash but its one of my favorite films with Reeves. The story is an old fashioned romance set against the Napa Valley wine country of Southern California at the end of World War II. Alfonso Arau, who also directed the great film "Like Water for Chocolate" uses lush colors, deep and rich, to convey the passion and sensuality, perfectly complimenting the storyline. Keanu Reeves and Aitana Sanchez Gijon make a beautiful couple and the scenes, such as one where the entire family and workers wear wings to fan warmth on the crops to ward off frost, is like something out of a dream. The music is beautiful and though the ending is a bit of let down, the story is very romantic and a must have for anyone who likes an old fashioned romance.

3-0 out of 5 stars A CLASSIC ROMANCE MOVIE...
This is a romantic drama that is entertaining, despite Keanu Reeves' somewhat leaden performance and the overly contrived plot. Look to the late Anthony Quinn for a wonderful performance as the benevolent grandfather, who knows true love when he sees it. Look to the beautiful damsel in distress, affectingly played by the lovely Aitana Sanchez-Gijon, with whom Keanu Reeeves ultimately falls in love. Look also to the erotic, grape crushing dance and the idyllic cinematography. Overlook the ridiculous ending scene where one is almost embarrassed for Giancarlo Giannini and the rest of the cast. If you do all this, you will probably enjoy the film.

The movie plot is simple. World War II veteran returns home to the woman he had married just before he left to go to war. You get a sense of what is to come, when she is not at the dock to meet him, as he arrives after a four year sojourn. Puzzled, he goes home and finds her there, and you have to wonder what he ever saw in this dolt, notwithstanding her lovely figure. She seems totally uninterested in him as a person. She never even bothered to read the almost daily letters he sent her, which is why she never even knew he was coming home.

He goes off to his former job, that of a traveling chocolate salesman, even though it is clearly not something he wishes to do. While on his journey, he meets a beautiful woman named Victoria, who has a problem. You see, she is pregnant by a man who does not wish to commit himself, and she is on her way home to her close knit family in the idyllic Napa Valley. She is terrified of telling her very old fashioned father, played by Giancarlo Giannini, of her situation and is weeping copious buckets of tears over the expected confrontation. What does Keanu do? Why he suggests going home with her and posing as her husband, while she breaks the news to her family of her purported marriage to Keanu and her pregnancy. Once this is done, Keanu will ostensibly desert her and go on his merry way.

Of course, all the best laid plans often go awry, and this is no exception. They fall in love. Even though he could, he refuses to take advantage of her sexually, because another woman, his wife, has a claim on him. You gotta love this guy! He tries to leave a number of times, but is initially unsuccessful. It is clear that he would prefer to stay. When he finally leaves and returns to his so called wife, he gets a not so unwelcome surprise. A surprise that guarantees that all will be well in the end. Though the outcome is predictable, it is still a moderately enjoyable film.

1-0 out of 5 stars Seriously awful sentimental blather
I saw this originally in the theatre, but caught it again on late night TV recently. What a disappointment coming from the director, Alphonso Arau, of the sublime classic "Like Water for Chocolate"! "A Walk in the Clouds" is cut from another bolt of cloth completely -- the treacly, sentimental "women's movie" of the 50s -- and utterly lacking charm, intelligence, realistic emotion or even plot coherence. Be warned that this is NOT the delightful magic realism of "Water for Chocolate".

There are so many lame, unbelievable details that its almost cruel to mention all of them. Paul (the flat, affectless Keanu Reeves, incapable of expressing anything remotely like romantic love) is a chocolate candy salesman who carries around ONE box of sample candy...in the heat of late summer. Apparently he is unconcerned about it melting in the heat or even about replacing the samples he offers to potential customers. Instead of selling the candy door to door in his native San Francisco, he somehow boards a train for Sacramento (even hotter!) but ends up in ... the Napa Valley. (Please consult a map to see why this is utterly ridiculous.) BTW: Look for Debra Messing (Will and Grace) in a small, thankless role as Paul's unfaithful wife.

Victoria (Aitana Gijan) is a Mexican American graduate student who has gotten pregnant by her married college professor, and is inexplicably returning home to Napa, where she will face the anger and scorn of her traditional Mexican family. Anyone who could have written this knows exactly nothing about the period (just after the end of WWII) and is in a kind of denial about the real lifestyles of Mexican American women at that time. I'll bet that there were precious few Mexican Americans (men or women) attending graduate school at Berkley at that time, and if there was, it would remarkable and worth commenting on. Even a basic 4 year college degree was a big deal in the 40s, let alone a master's. (Ms. Gujan, who is very lovely, nonethess is a little too old to be playing a college student.) Additionally, it is more likely that an unwed pregnant girl of that time, with disaproving parents, would have gone to a home for Unwed Mothers and given her child up for adoption. There simply was not the casual acceptance of illegitimate children at that time -- it was a genuine scandal -- and that's easy to forget today when the very word "illegitimate" has practically disappeared from the language.

Paul and Victoria decide to pretend to a sham marriage to fool her parents -- for one night! -- and then he'll abandon her, leaving her and the baby to the sympathy of her family. This definitely sounds like a plan that is NOT going to work right from the get-go, as everyone is (no surprise) highly suspicious of the situation. The two have prepared so little that they couldn't fool a bored INS investigator about their "relationship", as they clearly know nothing about one another.

Although the story appears to start in summer and warm weather (the characters are wearing summer clothing), six hours after arriving at the family winery, the weather turns cold enough to actually cause the wine grapes to FREEZE. In other words, the temperature dropped from the 70s to below freezing...in September. This isn't really normal for the Napa Valley, which is the chief wine growing region of California precisely because it is so temperate. (BTW: the Aragon family lives in a kind of high-style palazzo that looks more like the ostentacious home of a 90s-era film producer than a real working vineyard.) It is a sad comment on this whole film that the views of the vineyard are misty CGI paintings, rather than real photography...a strange choice when the area being referrenced is known to be one of the most beautiful and photogenic in the world!

Anyways, as the grapes are freezing, they put out gigantic smudge pots and all the characters grab giant silken "wings" and run out to the vineyards to perform rather elaborate "dances" to direct the heat to the grapes and prevent freezing. This looks and is perfectly ridiculous. I am also surprised that it works! Apparently so well that every member of the family apparently SLEEPS with such wings at the ready in case of sudden unseasonable frosts. (Victoria runs out to flap wings in her silk nightgown...a nightgown which a couple hours earlier she was too embarassed to allow Paul to glimse her in....how come she isn't shivering in this thin sleeveless garment when the presence of frost clearly indicates that the temperature is below freezing?)

The movie is literally one gaff filled moment after another, like those I have mentioned above. The next morning -- after the freeze, which has miraculously lifted and the temperature gone back to the 70s -- it's harvest time! The next day! and a couple of days later...you got it. The entire vineyard burns to the ground...except one tiny blackened root which is, YUP, it's the foundation root brought all the way from Spain hundreds of years ago. Apparently they are going to restart an entire several hundred acre vineyard with ONE ROOT.

I know that director Arau is Mexican and probably wanted to reference as much of his beloved homeland in this project as possible. Certainly there is a long history of Mexican Americans in California, so he had lots of choices. But I am fairly certain that the vast majority of vineyards in Napa were ITALIAN in the 1940s. Any of the hispanic actors cast could have convincingly played Italians and the old film this is based on was itself Italian. Making everyone Mexican is no more believable than making them Swedish or Lebanese...it's an affectation and utterly unrealistic.

The whole movie has the feeling of a stale, artificial tasting bon bon (not unlike the candies that Paul is half-heartedly trying to sell) -- old, dried out, tasteless, synthetic and generally unpleasant. There is a place for old fashioned romance in movies, but "A Walk in the Clouds" sure is not it.

4-0 out of 5 stars Beautifully Filmed, But It Needed a Lighter Touch
A WALK IN THE CLOUDS was directed by Alfonso Arau with cinematography by Emmanuel Lubezki. These same two people worked on the magical film, LIKE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE, so I expected to see some of that same magic in A WALK IN THE CLOUDS. And, I did. But only some.

A WALK IN THE CLOUDS is the story of Paul Sutton (Keanu Reeves) who marries quickly, right before leaving for Europe and WWII. When he comes home, to 1945 San Francisco, he finds his wife less than overjoyed to see him. Used to being alone (but hating it), Paul doesn't stick around and takes the train to Sacramento, instead. There he meets the beautiful-but-pregnant-and-unmarried Victoria Aragon (Aitana Sanchez-Gijon). Victoria comes from an old, aristocratic Mexican family and she's terrified of what their reaction will be to her pregnancy. Paul, smitten with her beauty and her charm (and just being an all round good guy, too) offers to "pretend" to be her husband for one day and then abandon her. Victoria and Paul agree that this is the best road to follow, especially where Victoria's stern and traditional father, Alberto Aragon (Giancarlo Giannini) is concerned. Of course, the inevitable happens and Paul and Victoria really do fall in love.

When Paul and Victoria arrive at Victoria's family's vineyard, Alberto dislikes Paul from the start. Paul is simply not aristocratic enough or moneyed enough or traditional enough to suit Alberto, although Paul does have more luck with Victoria's grandfather, Don Pedro (Anthony Quinn), who is a kinder and more accepting man than is Alberto.

A WALK IN THE CLOUDS begins well, and, in the beginning, it does contain some magic, but, for me, at least, it simply wasn't able to sustain that magic until the final credits. The writers handled the magical first half of the film with a very light touch, something this film, with its touches of fantasy, definitely needed. During the second half, however, they let the film slip into melodrama and silliness and the ending, for me, wasn't at all satisfying.

I think Keanu Reeves as Paul, a man searching for his place in the world, was woefully miscast. He was wooden, even during his love scenes with the very pretty Aitana Sanchez-Gijon (who is far better known in Spain). Sanchez-Gijon's performance lost some of its luster simply because she had to play off the very wooden Reeves so much of the time, but she did try and part of the time she even succeeded. At least she looked the part. She has a luminescence and effervescence about her that make us feel any man would be a fool not to fall in love with her. Giancarlo Giannini and Anthony Quinn turn in first-rate performances as Victoria's father and grandfather and they do much to rescue A WALK IN THE CLOUDS from mediocrity.

Despite this film's tendency to slip into heaviness and melodrama, each scene is a visual delight. Cinematographer, Emmanuel Lubezki, certainly didn't let anyone down. A WALK IN THE CLOUDS is gorgeously filmed and, on that score, it does rival, or perhaps even surpass, LIKE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE. While the entire film is a visual delight, two scenes, in particular, deserve special mention. The first is a scene during which the women of the vineyard dance around in a vat of grapes, crushing them with their bare feet. That might not sound so gorgeous on paper, but it is both sensual and beautiful. The second scene that deserves a special mention is my favorite and revolves around the people of the vineyard as they "fly" through it at night on huge, gossamer wings in an attempt to keep the frost off the grapes.

If only A WALK IN THE CLOUDS could have kept the light, ephemeral feel it had two-thirds of the way through the film and avoided the disastrous fall into melodrama and it's horribly silly ending, I think it might have been a masterpiece. As it is, I definitely think it's worth renting, but I would have to think twice before buying it. It's certainly not going to be everyone's cup of tea.

5-0 out of 5 stars I'm a guy and even I thought it was great.
Keanu's alleged "wooden-ness" fits his role in this movie perfectly (as a returning WWII vet who saw a lot of death and now is faced with a wife who doesn't understand him and a job he doesn't want).

The music is great too; I went out and bought the soundtrack.

Basically, it's a great romance movie with beautiful scenes, not a bad way to start a Friday evening with your lover. ... Read more


3. The Magnificent Ambersons
Director: Alfonso Arau
list price: $24.95
our price: $22.46
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Asin: B00005UW73
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 11556
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Amazon.com

Alfonso Arau's handsome The Magnificent Ambersons, based on Orson Welles's original screenplay, is a brave attempt to restore the dramatic scenes lost when RKO radically recut Welles's magnificent 1941 masterpiece, but it's less a remake than a new take on the material. Bruce Greenwood makes a gracious and sincere Eugene Morgan, the inventor who woos heiress Isabel Amberson (a vibrant Madeleine Stowe) and finds his rival is her spoiled, arrogant son, George (played with sneering, bug-eyed intensity by Jonathan Rhys Meyers). It hits a few sour notes (notably Meyers and a terribly miscast Jennifer Tilly as the jealous Aunt Fanny), but the "new" scenes explore the sprawl of the city, the falling fortunes of the Amberson dynasty, and the almost incestuous intimacy between mother and son only hinted at in Welles's compromised version. It may lack the grand design and cinematic grace of Welles, but it creates its own gentle take on Booth Tarkington's turbulent novel. --Sean Axmaker ... Read more


4. A Painted House
Director: Alfonso Arau
list price: $19.98
our price: $17.98
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Asin: B0000C3I8M
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 9037
Average Customer Review: 4 out of 5 stars
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Amazon.com

Even by the high standards of the Hallmark Hall of Fame, A Painted House is well above average. John Grisham's well-received "lawyer-free" novel was respectfully adapted by Patrick Sheane Duncan (Mr. Holland's Opus), and director Alfonso Arau (Like Water for Chocolate, A Walk in the Clouds) brings just the right touch of toughness and delicate nostalgia to Grisham's semi-autobiographical remembrance of boyhood in rural Arkansas, circa 1952. Grisham's alter ego is 10-year-old Luke Chandler (well played by Logan Lerman), and when tempers flare into violence between the Mexican migrant workers and itinerant "hill people" hired to harvest cotton on his grandfather's farm, Luke--who has witnessed a murder--must decide whether to expose the killer or keep the crime a secret. Filled with warm grace notes and a perfect cast including leather-faced Scott Glenn and Melinda Dillon (as Luke's grandparents), A Painted House juggles multiple crises (including devastating rainstorms) with strong family values, capturing the humor and hardship of farming life at a crossroads of fading tradition and inevitable change. Combining elements of To Kill a Mockingbird and Places in the Heart, this is a purebred Hallmark production in every respect, earning a badge of pride for everyone involved in its making. --Jeff Shannon ... Read more

Reviews (3)

5-0 out of 5 stars Great movie, great acting, Logan Lerman is a standout!
I haven't read the book, but as a movie, I was really impressed. Logan Lerman really shines, he really puts life into Luke. I really enjoyed getting lost into this movie and the acting made it easy to feel what they were feeling. A wonderful movie about a boy dealing with life, problems, yet still being a kid, a farm family trying to survive. I've found that when books are turned into movies, they often have many differnces from the books, so I try to view the movie separate from the book on it's own terms. The Painted House tells a story, and has feeling. Perfect, no, enjoyable, definately!!

2-0 out of 5 stars A major disappointment
This was one of my favorite John Grisham books. When I learned it was a movie I could not wait to see it. Now that I have seen the movie I wish they never made it. It has the worst narration I have ever heard. The narrator spoke with no feeling or emotion and you could clearly tell he was reading from a script. I guess you can't expect much from a made for TV movie but I was expecting more. Great parts of the book were left out and the actors did a fair job portraying people that were so clearly defined in the book. I wonder if they even read the book?

5-0 out of 5 stars one talented actor
My family and I enjoyed this movie. The story line was good and was a pretty clean movie for family entertainment. The actor we enjoyed the most will be missed if you are not looking for him, but about one fourth of the way through the movie he runs up to the movie theater and says "there's a fight behind the co-op". Then he appears in the fight scene a few more times, watch for him, his presence explodes on to the film and by far is the most impressive actor in the movie! Buy several copies of this movie to give as gifts and share this undiscovered talent with others! ... Read more


5. Picking Up the Pieces
Director: Alfonso Arau
list price: $14.98
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Asin: B00004WI55
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 34548
Average Customer Review: 2.47 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (15)

2-0 out of 5 stars Not so bad
Before I watched this movie, I read very negative critics about it, but I decided to check it anyway,mainly because of Woody Allen.

This movie was not made to be taken serious. It's a crazy comedy, with lots of surreal elements and an absurd plot. It's a story about a butcher who kills his wife, picking her to pieces. Accidentaly, he looses her hand, which is later found by a mexican bind woman, who believes she's cured by a miracle. Then, the news are spread, and the whole city of El Nino believes in the power of this hand.

It may seem stupid, but it is actually a critic to fanatic people, who start believing in everything they see. The cast was well chosen. David Schwimmer plays a priest who is in love with a whore (shocking, isn't it?), proving that he can do more than Ross (Friends). Woody is funny and neurotic as always,and it makes the movie worth your money.

Of course, this is not the best film you'll ever see, but it is funny in a certain way.

3-0 out of 5 stars Your Typical Weak Buzz Saw Milagro Farce
Although this often execrable, cheaply punning (e.g., "see" "si"), monolingual (the devil's!) monstrosity is easily among Woody Allen's worst (if not his worst) it is still, not so surprisingly, better than most films. That is because despite its socially unredeeming ploys (e.g., sex in church, a slattern-wife's severed bird-flipping hand that grants miracles such as big breasts and a dirt-scraping penis to a midget of a darker hue; and a poor Jimi Hendrix copy who sings obnoxious songs) it is kind of fun to look at the cast tramp through the mock New Mexico town El Nino. The end of the film, from which Allen with seeming genuine hostility draws the sermonizing moral that God seems to be saying "if you can't take a joke go .... yourself," is symptomatic of the film's comic misfiring and lack of subtlety. Some T, but little A although I confess I fell asleep in the middle. My favorite part was the recycled Lenny Bruce joke that the Jews didn't really kill Jesus, it was a party that got out of hand. Some of the bits with Kiefer Sutherland as a state trooper were also good. Allen, who plays a magician-butcher who cuts his pretty wife (Sharon Stone, good job) in half with a buzz saw to begin the show, near the end comes to confess his crime prefacing his remarks with the confession that he has never confessed before because he is Jewish. But what are the many scenes of psychoanalysis depicted in his films if not confessions by another name? I think this movie actually has a serious intent that was compromised by commercial expectations and Allen's aesthetic choice to make it a complete farce; it is clever, and better than watching Jim Carey pull faces, but lacks heart-as if Allen were seething with anger but had only the light, feathery pillows of commercially successful comedy available with which to vent his intense frustration (at Catholicism and religious hypocrisy in general, unfaithful women, cute guys, himself, death, unappreciative audiences, etc. etc.)

1-0 out of 5 stars Woody at his worst
This was just a very bad film. It was rarely funny and downright painful to watch at times. Woody is way out of his element in New Mexico where this idiotic film is supposed to take place.

There is no question in my mind as to why this film never made it into theaters. It would have bombed in a big way. Even though there is a great cast, they don't have a good script to work with so the film falls right on its' face.

Don't waste a second watching this huge disappointment.

1-0 out of 5 stars Unfinishable
I don't shut too many movies off in medias res. I definitely didn't expect to shut off a Woody Allen film in that manner. But I had to, just so I didnt have to hear myself halfheartedly guffaw a third time while trying to extract some joy from this tepid, unfunny, fantastic-in-the-bad-sense film. Its not a Woody Allen film per se-someone else wrote it, thank goodness...stars galore populate the screen, and not one of them really does anything funny or quirky at all...Allen's cynical mutterings are stale, and they let Eddie Griffin talk, and not Andy Dick? Watch the interviews with the cast to see them try and say something good about what they just excreted...that's funnier than than the film itself! Bad, bad, unequivocally awful movie no matter what the ravers say, if you have any intelligence or taste at all, heed my admonition, you will waste money on this!Why don't you see Sleeper instead?

1-0 out of 5 stars Stupidity is not funny
Like some of the other reviewers, I picked up this movie because of the cast, particularly Woody Allen. The one good thing about it is that it wasn't very long, and that I didn't buy it, but rent it cheaply from my local library. Everything else about it is bad.

The premise is not bad as far as it goes. Tex, a NY butcher (hopefully a kosher/halal one?) living in Texas marries a floozy who cheats on him at every turn. He kills her, dismembers her and drives over to the New Mexico town of El Niño to bury her corpse. In the way, he loses a hand. A blind woman stumbles over the hand and regains her vision. The hand is delivered to the local church where, in spite of the opposition of the priest, it is displayed as the Virgin's hand. It quickly confirms this reputation and transform's the windswept town into a tourist mecca. One of the dead woman's lovers, an irritating Texas ranger, find out about the murder an tries to arrest Tex and confiscate the missing hand. The local townspeople rebel, kill the ranger, release Tex, and keep the hand. A parallel plot concerns the priest who has lost his faith and is in love with one of the local hookers. The hooker first attempts to become celibate and then marries the priest.

So what's wrong with this picture? Virtually everything. It's not being away from New York that has killed Woody Allen's jokes, but the fact that he is no longe allowed to take center stage or to roam freely across his multiple obsessions. Sharon Stone, as his adulterous wife and murder victim, must have been so stricken by the mediocre result that her name has been stricken from the marquee: one looks in vain for her name as the credits pass by (at the movie's end, rather than the beginning, which was surely no accident). David Schwimmer is utterly unrealistic as a priest, instead playing again the bumbling and incoherent character that made him rich at "Friends". Maria Grazia Cucinotta, as the obligatory hooker with a heart of gold is OK, although one wonders why she should fall in love with such a bland character as Schwimmer's priest. Of course it's possible (beautiful women are notorious for their rotten taste in partners) but it doesn't make for a funny movie. Kiefer Sutherland, as the Texas ranger, is even good rather than OK, since he conveys a sense of menace and aggression whenever he appears on the screen. Contrary to the rest of the cast, he stands for something, and has a personality, a rare commodity in this movie. Three actors who play a priest, a nun and a Franciscan monk on a mission from the archbishop to authenticate the supposed holy relic are ludicrous rather than funny. Stupidity is not funny. Clumsiness may be funny (witness Laurel and Hardy), but only when redeemed by some endearing trait (such as friendship or loyalty). These characters are cyphers. They are nothing more than authority figures to mock, and not even that at times.

Other reviewers have commented on the film's disrespect for religion and priesthood. That's not the problem. Humour, like love, forgives all. The movie just isn't funny, and so its vulgarity and crudeness are unjustified. With no less than 3 major actors (Allen, Stone and Sutherland) and a great or at least distinguished support cast (Cucinotta, Schwimmer, Drescher, to name a few) it is much less than the sum of its parts. Vulgarity and lewdness are not funny by themselves, but only as part of a reasonable portrayal of human foibles. In this movie genitalia, breasts, profanity and lewdness are in fact substitutes for a plot or for well-rendered characters. This sort of thing may work (more or less) in "gross-out" films intended for the 13-year old set (such as "American Pie", "Dumb and Dumber" or the "Scary Movie" series) but it doesn't in a movie intended for adults. You'd have more fun drinking yourself blind while reading P.J. O'Rourke. ... Read more


6. A Walk in the Clouds
Director: Alfonso Arau
list price: $14.98
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: B000053VC5
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 31394
Average Customer Review: 4.09 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (81)

5-0 out of 5 stars A beautiful romance
People often seem eager to criticize Keanu Reeves' acting and give negative reviews of his films unless they are action driven. This film was not a huge box office smash but its one of my favorite films with Reeves. The story is an old fashioned romance set against the Napa Valley wine country of Southern California at the end of World War II. Alfonso Arau, who also directed the great film "Like Water for Chocolate" uses lush colors, deep and rich, to convey the passion and sensuality, perfectly complimenting the storyline. Keanu Reeves and Aitana Sanchez Gijon make a beautiful couple and the scenes, such as one where the entire family and workers wear wings to fan warmth on the crops to ward off frost, is like something out of a dream. The music is beautiful and though the ending is a bit of let down, the story is very romantic and a must have for anyone who likes an old fashioned romance.

3-0 out of 5 stars A CLASSIC ROMANCE MOVIE...
This is a romantic drama that is entertaining, despite Keanu Reeves' somewhat leaden performance and the overly contrived plot. Look to the late Anthony Quinn for a wonderful performance as the benevolent grandfather, who knows true love when he sees it. Look to the beautiful damsel in distress, affectingly played by the lovely Aitana Sanchez-Gijon, with whom Keanu Reeeves ultimately falls in love. Look also to the erotic, grape crushing dance and the idyllic cinematography. Overlook the ridiculous ending scene where one is almost embarrassed for Giancarlo Giannini and the rest of the cast. If you do all this, you will probably enjoy the film.

The movie plot is simple. World War II veteran returns home to the woman he had married just before he left to go to war. You get a sense of what is to come, when she is not at the dock to meet him, as he arrives after a four year sojourn. Puzzled, he goes home and finds her there, and you have to wonder what he ever saw in this dolt, notwithstanding her lovely figure. She seems totally uninterested in him as a person. She never even bothered to read the almost daily letters he sent her, which is why she never even knew he was coming home.

He goes off to his former job, that of a traveling chocolate salesman, even though it is clearly not something he wishes to do. While on his journey, he meets a beautiful woman named Victoria, who has a problem. You see, she is pregnant by a man who does not wish to commit himself, and she is on her way home to her close knit family in the idyllic Napa Valley. She is terrified of telling her very old fashioned father, played by Giancarlo Giannini, of her situation and is weeping copious buckets of tears over the expected confrontation. What does Keanu do? Why he suggests going home with her and posing as her husband, while she breaks the news to her family of her purported marriage to Keanu and her pregnancy. Once this is done, Keanu will ostensibly desert her and go on his merry way.

Of course, all the best laid plans often go awry, and this is no exception. They fall in love. Even though he could, he refuses to take advantage of her sexually, because another woman, his wife, has a claim on him. You gotta love this guy! He tries to leave a number of times, but is initially unsuccessful. It is clear that he would prefer to stay. When he finally leaves and returns to his so called wife, he gets a not so unwelcome surprise. A surprise that guarantees that all will be well in the end. Though the outcome is predictable, it is still a moderately enjoyable film.

1-0 out of 5 stars Seriously awful sentimental blather
I saw this originally in the theatre, but caught it again on late night TV recently. What a disappointment coming from the director, Alphonso Arau, of the sublime classic "Like Water for Chocolate"! "A Walk in the Clouds" is cut from another bolt of cloth completely -- the treacly, sentimental "women's movie" of the 50s -- and utterly lacking charm, intelligence, realistic emotion or even plot coherence. Be warned that this is NOT the delightful magic realism of "Water for Chocolate".

There are so many lame, unbelievable details that its almost cruel to mention all of them. Paul (the flat, affectless Keanu Reeves, incapable of expressing anything remotely like romantic love) is a chocolate candy salesman who carries around ONE box of sample candy...in the heat of late summer. Apparently he is unconcerned about it melting in the heat or even about replacing the samples he offers to potential customers. Instead of selling the candy door to door in his native San Francisco, he somehow boards a train for Sacramento (even hotter!) but ends up in ... the Napa Valley. (Please consult a map to see why this is utterly ridiculous.) BTW: Look for Debra Messing (Will and Grace) in a small, thankless role as Paul's unfaithful wife.

Victoria (Aitana Gijan) is a Mexican American graduate student who has gotten pregnant by her married college professor, and is inexplicably returning home to Napa, where she will face the anger and scorn of her traditional Mexican family. Anyone who could have written this knows exactly nothing about the period (just after the end of WWII) and is in a kind of denial about the real lifestyles of Mexican American women at that time. I'll bet that there were precious few Mexican Americans (men or women) attending graduate school at Berkley at that time, and if there was, it would remarkable and worth commenting on. Even a basic 4 year college degree was a big deal in the 40s, let alone a master's. (Ms. Gujan, who is very lovely, nonethess is a little too old to be playing a college student.) Additionally, it is more likely that an unwed pregnant girl of that time, with disaproving parents, would have gone to a home for Unwed Mothers and given her child up for adoption. There simply was not the casual acceptance of illegitimate children at that time -- it was a genuine scandal -- and that's easy to forget today when the very word "illegitimate" has practically disappeared from the language.

Paul and Victoria decide to pretend to a sham marriage to fool her parents -- for one night! -- and then he'll abandon her, leaving her and the baby to the sympathy of her family. This definitely sounds like a plan that is NOT going to work right from the get-go, as everyone is (no surprise) highly suspicious of the situation. The two have prepared so little that they couldn't fool a bored INS investigator about their "relationship", as they clearly know nothing about one another.

Although the story appears to start in summer and warm weather (the characters are wearing summer clothing), six hours after arriving at the family winery, the weather turns cold enough to actually cause the wine grapes to FREEZE. In other words, the temperature dropped from the 70s to below freezing...in September. This isn't really normal for the Napa Valley, which is the chief wine growing region of California precisely because it is so temperate. (BTW: the Aragon family lives in a kind of high-style palazzo that looks more like the ostentacious home of a 90s-era film producer than a real working vineyard.) It is a sad comment on this whole film that the views of the vineyard are misty CGI paintings, rather than real photography...a strange choice when the area being referrenced is known to be one of the most beautiful and photogenic in the world!

Anyways, as the grapes are freezing, they put out gigantic smudge pots and all the characters grab giant silken "wings" and run out to the vineyards to perform rather elaborate "dances" to direct the heat to the grapes and prevent freezing. This looks and is perfectly ridiculous. I am also surprised that it works! Apparently so well that every member of the family apparently SLEEPS with such wings at the ready in case of sudden unseasonable frosts. (Victoria runs out to flap wings in her silk nightgown...a nightgown which a couple hours earlier she was too embarassed to allow Paul to glimse her in....how come she isn't shivering in this thin sleeveless garment when the presence of frost clearly indicates that the temperature is below freezing?)

The movie is literally one gaff filled moment after another, like those I have mentioned above. The next morning -- after the freeze, which has miraculously lifted and the temperature gone back to the 70s -- it's harvest time! The next day! and a couple of days later...you got it. The entire vineyard burns to the ground...except one tiny blackened root which is, YUP, it's the foundation root brought all the way from Spain hundreds of years ago. Apparently they are going to restart an entire several hundred acre vineyard with ONE ROOT.

I know that director Arau is Mexican and probably wanted to reference as much of his beloved homeland in this project as possible. Certainly there is a long history of Mexican Americans in California, so he had lots of choices. But I am fairly certain that the vast majority of vineyards in Napa were ITALIAN in the 1940s. Any of the hispanic actors cast could have convincingly played Italians and the old film this is based on was itself Italian. Making everyone Mexican is no more believable than making them Swedish or Lebanese...it's an affectation and utterly unrealistic.

The whole movie has the feeling of a stale, artificial tasting bon bon (not unlike the candies that Paul is half-heartedly trying to sell) -- old, dried out, tasteless, synthetic and generally unpleasant. There is a place for old fashioned romance in movies, but "A Walk in the Clouds" sure is not it.

4-0 out of 5 stars Beautifully Filmed, But It Needed a Lighter Touch
A WALK IN THE CLOUDS was directed by Alfonso Arau with cinematography by Emmanuel Lubezki. These same two people worked on the magical film, LIKE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE, so I expected to see some of that same magic in A WALK IN THE CLOUDS. And, I did. But only some.

A WALK IN THE CLOUDS is the story of Paul Sutton (Keanu Reeves) who marries quickly, right before leaving for Europe and WWII. When he comes home, to 1945 San Francisco, he finds his wife less than overjoyed to see him. Used to being alone (but hating it), Paul doesn't stick around and takes the train to Sacramento, instead. There he meets the beautiful-but-pregnant-and-unmarried Victoria Aragon (Aitana Sanchez-Gijon). Victoria comes from an old, aristocratic Mexican family and she's terrified of what their reaction will be to her pregnancy. Paul, smitten with her beauty and her charm (and just being an all round good guy, too) offers to "pretend" to be her husband for one day and then abandon her. Victoria and Paul agree that this is the best road to follow, especially where Victoria's stern and traditional father, Alberto Aragon (Giancarlo Giannini) is concerned. Of course, the inevitable happens and Paul and Victoria really do fall in love.

When Paul and Victoria arrive at Victoria's family's vineyard, Alberto dislikes Paul from the start. Paul is simply not aristocratic enough or moneyed enough or traditional enough to suit Alberto, although Paul does have more luck with Victoria's grandfather, Don Pedro (Anthony Quinn), who is a kinder and more accepting man than is Alberto.

A WALK IN THE CLOUDS begins well, and, in the beginning, it does contain some magic, but, for me, at least, it simply wasn't able to sustain that magic until the final credits. The writers handled the magical first half of the film with a very light touch, something this film, with its touches of fantasy, definitely needed. During the second half, however, they let the film slip into melodrama and silliness and the ending, for me, wasn't at all satisfying.

I think Keanu Reeves as Paul, a man searching for his place in the world, was woefully miscast. He was wooden, even during his love scenes with the very pretty Aitana Sanchez-Gijon (who is far better known in Spain). Sanchez-Gijon's performance lost some of its luster simply because she had to play off the very wooden Reeves so much of the time, but she did try and part of the time she even succeeded. At least she looked the part. She has a luminescence and effervescence about her that make us feel any man would be a fool not to fall in love with her. Giancarlo Giannini and Anthony Quinn turn in first-rate performances as Victoria's father and grandfather and they do much to rescue A WALK IN THE CLOUDS from mediocrity.

Despite this film's tendency to slip into heaviness and melodrama, each scene is a visual delight. Cinematographer, Emmanuel Lubezki, certainly didn't let anyone down. A WALK IN THE CLOUDS is gorgeously filmed and, on that score, it does rival, or perhaps even surpass, LIKE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE. While the entire film is a visual delight, two scenes, in particular, deserve special mention. The first is a scene during which the women of the vineyard dance around in a vat of grapes, crushing them with their bare feet. That might not sound so gorgeous on paper, but it is both sensual and beautiful. The second scene that deserves a special mention is my favorite and revolves around the people of the vineyard as they "fly" through it at night on huge, gossamer wings in an attempt to keep the frost off the grapes.

If only A WALK IN THE CLOUDS could have kept the light, ephemeral feel it had two-thirds of the way through the film and avoided the disastrous fall into melodrama and it's horribly silly ending, I think it might have been a masterpiece. As it is, I definitely think it's worth renting, but I would have to think twice before buying it. It's certainly not going to be everyone's cup of tea.

5-0 out of 5 stars I'm a guy and even I thought it was great.
Keanu's alleged "wooden-ness" fits his role in this movie perfectly (as a returning WWII vet who saw a lot of death and now is faced with a wife who doesn't understand him and a job he doesn't want).

The music is great too; I went out and bought the soundtrack.

Basically, it's a great romance movie with beautiful scenes, not a bad way to start a Friday evening with your lover. ... Read more


7. Picking Up the Pieces
Director: Alfonso Arau
list price: $14.98
our price: $13.48
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Asin: B00005QCVO
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 26518
Average Customer Review: 2.47 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (15)

2-0 out of 5 stars Not so bad
Before I watched this movie, I read very negative critics about it, but I decided to check it anyway,mainly because of Woody Allen.

This movie was not made to be taken serious. It's a crazy comedy, with lots of surreal elements and an absurd plot. It's a story about a butcher who kills his wife, picking her to pieces. Accidentaly, he looses her hand, which is later found by a mexican bind woman, who believes she's cured by a miracle. Then, the news are spread, and the whole city of El Nino believes in the power of this hand.

It may seem stupid, but it is actually a critic to fanatic people, who start believing in everything they see. The cast was well chosen. David Schwimmer plays a priest who is in love with a whore (shocking, isn't it?), proving that he can do more than Ross (Friends). Woody is funny and neurotic as always,and it makes the movie worth your money.

Of course, this is not the best film you'll ever see, but it is funny in a certain way.

3-0 out of 5 stars Your Typical Weak Buzz Saw Milagro Farce
Although this often execrable, cheaply punning (e.g., "see" "si"), monolingual (the devil's!) monstrosity is easily among Woody Allen's worst (if not his worst) it is still, not so surprisingly, better than most films. That is because despite its socially unredeeming ploys (e.g., sex in church, a slattern-wife's severed bird-flipping hand that grants miracles such as big breasts and a dirt-scraping penis to a midget of a darker hue; and a poor Jimi Hendrix copy who sings obnoxious songs) it is kind of fun to look at the cast tramp through the mock New Mexico town El Nino. The end of the film, from which Allen with seeming genuine hostility draws the sermonizing moral that God seems to be saying "if you can't take a joke go .... yourself," is symptomatic of the film's comic misfiring and lack of subtlety. Some T, but little A although I confess I fell asleep in the middle. My favorite part was the recycled Lenny Bruce joke that the Jews didn't really kill Jesus, it was a party that got out of hand. Some of the bits with Kiefer Sutherland as a state trooper were also good. Allen, who plays a magician-butcher who cuts his pretty wife (Sharon Stone, good job) in half with a buzz saw to begin the show, near the end comes to confess his crime prefacing his remarks with the confession that he has never confessed before because he is Jewish. But what are the many scenes of psychoanalysis depicted in his films if not confessions by another name? I think this movie actually has a serious intent that was compromised by commercial expectations and Allen's aesthetic choice to make it a complete farce; it is clever, and better than watching Jim Carey pull faces, but lacks heart-as if Allen were seething with anger but had only the light, feathery pillows of commercially successful comedy available with which to vent his intense frustration (at Catholicism and religious hypocrisy in general, unfaithful women, cute guys, himself, death, unappreciative audiences, etc. etc.)

1-0 out of 5 stars Woody at his worst
This was just a very bad film. It was rarely funny and downright painful to watch at times. Woody is way out of his element in New Mexico where this idiotic film is supposed to take place.

There is no question in my mind as to why this film never made it into theaters. It would have bombed in a big way. Even though there is a great cast, they don't have a good script to work with so the film falls right on its' face.

Don't waste a second watching this huge disappointment.

1-0 out of 5 stars Unfinishable
I don't shut too many movies off in medias res. I definitely didn't expect to shut off a Woody Allen film in that manner. But I had to, just so I didnt have to hear myself halfheartedly guffaw a third time while trying to extract some joy from this tepid, unfunny, fantastic-in-the-bad-sense film. Its not a Woody Allen film per se-someone else wrote it, thank goodness...stars galore populate the screen, and not one of them really does anything funny or quirky at all...Allen's cynical mutterings are stale, and they let Eddie Griffin talk, and not Andy Dick? Watch the interviews with the cast to see them try and say something good about what they just excreted...that's funnier than than the film itself! Bad, bad, unequivocally awful movie no matter what the ravers say, if you have any intelligence or taste at all, heed my admonition, you will waste money on this!Why don't you see Sleeper instead?

1-0 out of 5 stars Stupidity is not funny
Like some of the other reviewers, I picked up this movie because of the cast, particularly Woody Allen. The one good thing about it is that it wasn't very long, and that I didn't buy it, but rent it cheaply from my local library. Everything else about it is bad.

The premise is not bad as far as it goes. Tex, a NY butcher (hopefully a kosher/halal one?) living in Texas marries a floozy who cheats on him at every turn. He kills her, dismembers her and drives over to the New Mexico town of El Niño to bury her corpse. In the way, he loses a hand. A blind woman stumbles over the hand and regains her vision. The hand is delivered to the local church where, in spite of the opposition of the priest, it is displayed as the Virgin's hand. It quickly confirms this reputation and transform's the windswept town into a tourist mecca. One of the dead woman's lovers, an irritating Texas ranger, find out about the murder an tries to arrest Tex and confiscate the missing hand. The local townspeople rebel, kill the ranger, release Tex, and keep the hand. A parallel plot concerns the priest who has lost his faith and is in love with one of the local hookers. The hooker first attempts to become celibate and then marries the priest.

So what's wrong with this picture? Virtually everything. It's not being away from New York that has killed Woody Allen's jokes, but the fact that he is no longe allowed to take center stage or to roam freely across his multiple obsessions. Sharon Stone, as his adulterous wife and murder victim, must have been so stricken by the mediocre result that her name has been stricken from the marquee: one looks in vain for her name as the credits pass by (at the movie's end, rather than the beginning, which was surely no accident). David Schwimmer is utterly unrealistic as a priest, instead playing again the bumbling and incoherent character that made him rich at "Friends". Maria Grazia Cucinotta, as the obligatory hooker with a heart of gold is OK, although one wonders why she should fall in love with such a bland character as Schwimmer's priest. Of course it's possible (beautiful women are notorious for their rotten taste in partners) but it doesn't make for a funny movie. Kiefer Sutherland, as the Texas ranger, is even good rather than OK, since he conveys a sense of menace and aggression whenever he appears on the screen. Contrary to the rest of the cast, he stands for something, and has a personality, a rare commodity in this movie. Three actors who play a priest, a nun and a Franciscan monk on a mission from the archbishop to authenticate the supposed holy relic are ludicrous rather than funny. Stupidity is not funny. Clumsiness may be funny (witness Laurel and Hardy), but only when redeemed by some endearing trait (such as friendship or loyalty). These characters are cyphers. They are nothing more than authority figures to mock, and not even that at times.

Other reviewers have commented on the film's disrespect for religion and priesthood. That's not the problem. Humour, like love, forgives all. The movie just isn't funny, and so its vulgarity and crudeness are unjustified. With no less than 3 major actors (Allen, Stone and Sutherland) and a great or at least distinguished support cast (Cucinotta, Schwimmer, Drescher, to name a few) it is much less than the sum of its parts. Vulgarity and lewdness are not funny by themselves, but only as part of a reasonable portrayal of human foibles. In this movie genitalia, breasts, profanity and lewdness are in fact substitutes for a plot or for well-rendered characters. This sort of thing may work (more or less) in "gross-out" films intended for the 13-year old set (such as "American Pie", "Dumb and Dumber" or the "Scary Movie" series) but it doesn't in a movie intended for adults. You'd have more fun drinking yourself blind while reading P.J. O'Rourke. ... Read more


8. A Walk in the Clouds (En Espanol)
Director: Alfonso Arau
list price: $19.98
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Asin: B000083C7G
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 43188
Average Customer Review: 4.09 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (81)

5-0 out of 5 stars A beautiful romance
People often seem eager to criticize Keanu Reeves' acting and give negative reviews of his films unless they are action driven. This film was not a huge box office smash but its one of my favorite films with Reeves. The story is an old fashioned romance set against the Napa Valley wine country of Southern California at the end of World War II. Alfonso Arau, who also directed the great film "Like Water for Chocolate" uses lush colors, deep and rich, to convey the passion and sensuality, perfectly complimenting the storyline. Keanu Reeves and Aitana Sanchez Gijon make a beautiful couple and the scenes, such as one where the entire family and workers wear wings to fan warmth on the crops to ward off frost, is like something out of a dream. The music is beautiful and though the ending is a bit of let down, the story is very romantic and a must have for anyone who likes an old fashioned romance.

3-0 out of 5 stars A CLASSIC ROMANCE MOVIE...
This is a romantic drama that is entertaining, despite Keanu Reeves' somewhat leaden performance and the overly contrived plot. Look to the late Anthony Quinn for a wonderful performance as the benevolent grandfather, who knows true love when he sees it. Look to the beautiful damsel in distress, affectingly played by the lovely Aitana Sanchez-Gijon, with whom Keanu Reeeves ultimately falls in love. Look also to the erotic, grape crushing dance and the idyllic cinematography. Overlook the ridiculous ending scene where one is almost embarrassed for Giancarlo Giannini and the rest of the cast. If you do all this, you will probably enjoy the film.

The movie plot is simple. World War II veteran returns home to the woman he had married just before he left to go to war. You get a sense of what is to come, when she is not at the dock to meet him, as he arrives after a four year sojourn. Puzzled, he goes home and finds her there, and you have to wonder what he ever saw in this dolt, notwithstanding her lovely figure. She seems totally uninterested in him as a person. She never even bothered to read the almost daily letters he sent her, which is why she never even knew he was coming home.

He goes off to his former job, that of a traveling chocolate salesman, even though it is clearly not something he wishes to do. While on his journey, he meets a beautiful woman named Victoria, who has a problem. You see, she is pregnant by a man who does not wish to commit himself, and she is on her way home to her close knit family in the idyllic Napa Valley. She is terrified of telling her very old fashioned father, played by Giancarlo Giannini, of her situation and is weeping copious buckets of tears over the expected confrontation. What does Keanu do? Why he suggests going home with her and posing as her husband, while she breaks the news to her family of her purported marriage to Keanu and her pregnancy. Once this is done, Keanu will ostensibly desert her and go on his merry way.

Of course, all the best laid plans often go awry, and this is no exception. They fall in love. Even though he could, he refuses to take advantage of her sexually, because another woman, his wife, has a claim on him. You gotta love this guy! He tries to leave a number of times, but is initially unsuccessful. It is clear that he would prefer to stay. When he finally leaves and returns to his so called wife, he gets a not so unwelcome surprise. A surprise that guarantees that all will be well in the end. Though the outcome is predictable, it is still a moderately enjoyable film.

1-0 out of 5 stars Seriously awful sentimental blather
I saw this originally in the theatre, but caught it again on late night TV recently. What a disappointment coming from the director, Alphonso Arau, of the sublime classic "Like Water for Chocolate"! "A Walk in the Clouds" is cut from another bolt of cloth completely -- the treacly, sentimental "women's movie" of the 50s -- and utterly lacking charm, intelligence, realistic emotion or even plot coherence. Be warned that this is NOT the delightful magic realism of "Water for Chocolate".

There are so many lame, unbelievable details that its almost cruel to mention all of them. Paul (the flat, affectless Keanu Reeves, incapable of expressing anything remotely like romantic love) is a chocolate candy salesman who carries around ONE box of sample candy...in the heat of late summer. Apparently he is unconcerned about it melting in the heat or even about replacing the samples he offers to potential customers. Instead of selling the candy door to door in his native San Francisco, he somehow boards a train for Sacramento (even hotter!) but ends up in ... the Napa Valley. (Please consult a map to see why this is utterly ridiculous.) BTW: Look for Debra Messing (Will and Grace) in a small, thankless role as Paul's unfaithful wife.

Victoria (Aitana Gijan) is a Mexican American graduate student who has gotten pregnant by her married college professor, and is inexplicably returning home to Napa, where she will face the anger and scorn of her traditional Mexican family. Anyone who could have written this knows exactly nothing about the period (just after the end of WWII) and is in a kind of denial about the real lifestyles of Mexican American women at that time. I'll bet that there were precious few Mexican Americans (men or women) attending graduate school at Berkley at that time, and if there was, it would remarkable and worth commenting on. Even a basic 4 year college degree was a big deal in the 40s, let alone a master's. (Ms. Gujan, who is very lovely, nonethess is a little too old to be playing a college student.) Additionally, it is more likely that an unwed pregnant girl of that time, with disaproving parents, would have gone to a home for Unwed Mothers and given her child up for adoption. There simply was not the casual acceptance of illegitimate children at that time -- it was a genuine scandal -- and that's easy to forget today when the very word "illegitimate" has practically disappeared from the language.

Paul and Victoria decide to pretend to a sham marriage to fool her parents -- for one night! -- and then he'll abandon her, leaving her and the baby to the sympathy of her family. This definitely sounds like a plan that is NOT going to work right from the get-go, as everyone is (no surprise) highly suspicious of the situation. The two have prepared so little that they couldn't fool a bored INS investigator about their "relationship", as they clearly know nothing about one another.

Although the story appears to start in summer and warm weather (the characters are wearing summer clothing), six hours after arriving at the family winery, the weather turns cold enough to actually cause the wine grapes to FREEZE. In other words, the temperature dropped from the 70s to below freezing...in September. This isn't really normal for the Napa Valley, which is the chief wine growing region of California precisely because it is so temperate. (BTW: the Aragon family lives in a kind of high-style palazzo that looks more like the ostentacious home of a 90s-era film producer than a real working vineyard.) It is a sad comment on this whole film that the views of the vineyard are misty CGI paintings, rather than real photography...a strange choice when the area being referrenced is known to be one of the most beautiful and photogenic in the world!

Anyways, as the grapes are freezing, they put out gigantic smudge pots and all the characters grab giant silken "wings" and run out to the vineyards to perform rather elaborate "dances" to direct the heat to the grapes and prevent freezing. This looks and is perfectly ridiculous. I am also surprised that it works! Apparently so well that every member of the family apparently SLEEPS with such wings at the ready in case of sudden unseasonable frosts. (Victoria runs out to flap wings in her silk nightgown...a nightgown which a couple hours earlier she was too embarassed to allow Paul to glimse her in....how come she isn't shivering in this thin sleeveless garment when the presence of frost clearly indicates that the temperature is below freezing?)

The movie is literally one gaff filled moment after another, like those I have mentioned above. The next morning -- after the freeze, which has miraculously lifted and the temperature gone back to the 70s -- it's harvest time! The next day! and a couple of days later...you got it. The entire vineyard burns to the ground...except one tiny blackened root which is, YUP, it's the foundation root brought all the way from Spain hundreds of years ago. Apparently they are going to restart an entire several hundred acre vineyard with ONE ROOT.

I know that director Arau is Mexican and probably wanted to reference as much of his beloved homeland in this project as possible. Certainly there is a long history of Mexican Americans in California, so he had lots of choices. But I am fairly certain that the vast majority of vineyards in Napa were ITALIAN in the 1940s. Any of the hispanic actors cast could have convincingly played Italians and the old film this is based on was itself Italian. Making everyone Mexican is no more believable than making them Swedish or Lebanese...it's an affectation and utterly unrealistic.

The whole movie has the feeling of a stale, artificial tasting bon bon (not unlike the candies that Paul is half-heartedly trying to sell) -- old, dried out, tasteless, synthetic and generally unpleasant. There is a place for old fashioned romance in movies, but "A Walk in the Clouds" sure is not it.

4-0 out of 5 stars Beautifully Filmed, But It Needed a Lighter Touch
A WALK IN THE CLOUDS was directed by Alfonso Arau with cinematography by Emmanuel Lubezki. These same two people worked on the magical film, LIKE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE, so I expected to see some of that same magic in A WALK IN THE CLOUDS. And, I did. But only some.

A WALK IN THE CLOUDS is the story of Paul Sutton (Keanu Reeves) who marries quickly, right before leaving for Europe and WWII. When he comes home, to 1945 San Francisco, he finds his wife less than overjoyed to see him. Used to being alone (but hating it), Paul doesn't stick around and takes the train to Sacramento, instead. There he meets the beautiful-but-pregnant-and-unmarried Victoria Aragon (Aitana Sanchez-Gijon). Victoria comes from an old, aristocratic Mexican family and she's terrified of what their reaction will be to her pregnancy. Paul, smitten with her beauty and her charm (and just being an all round good guy, too) offers to "pretend" to be her husband for one day and then abandon her. Victoria and Paul agree that this is the best road to follow, especially where Victoria's stern and traditional father, Alberto Aragon (Giancarlo Giannini) is concerned. Of course, the inevitable happens and Paul and Victoria really do fall in love.

When Paul and Victoria arrive at Victoria's family's vineyard, Alberto dislikes Paul from the start. Paul is simply not aristocratic enough or moneyed enough or traditional enough to suit Alberto, although Paul does have more luck with Victoria's grandfather, Don Pedro (Anthony Quinn), who is a kinder and more accepting man than is Alberto.

A WALK IN THE CLOUDS begins well, and, in the beginning, it does contain some magic, but, for me, at least, it simply wasn't able to sustain that magic until the final credits. The writers handled the magical first half of the film with a very light touch, something this film, with its touches of fantasy, definitely needed. During the second half, however, they let the film slip into melodrama and silliness and the ending, for me, wasn't at all satisfying.

I think Keanu Reeves as Paul, a man searching for his place in the world, was woefully miscast. He was wooden, even during his love scenes with the very pretty Aitana Sanchez-Gijon (who is far better known in Spain). Sanchez-Gijon's performance lost some of its luster simply because she had to play off the very wooden Reeves so much of the time, but she did try and part of the time she even succeeded. At least she looked the part. She has a luminescence and effervescence about her that make us feel any man would be a fool not to fall in love with her. Giancarlo Giannini and Anthony Quinn turn in first-rate performances as Victoria's father and grandfather and they do much to rescue A WALK IN THE CLOUDS from mediocrity.

Despite this film's tendency to slip into heaviness and melodrama, each scene is a visual delight. Cinematographer, Emmanuel Lubezki, certainly didn't let anyone down. A WALK IN THE CLOUDS is gorgeously filmed and, on that score, it does rival, or perhaps even surpass, LIKE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE. While the entire film is a visual delight, two scenes, in particular, deserve special mention. The first is a scene during which the women of the vineyard dance around in a vat of grapes, crushing them with their bare feet. That might not sound so gorgeous on paper, but it is both sensual and beautiful. The second scene that deserves a special mention is my favorite and revolves around the people of the vineyard as they "fly" through it at night on huge, gossamer wings in an attempt to keep the frost off the grapes.

If only A WALK IN THE CLOUDS could have kept the light, ephemeral feel it had two-thirds of the way through the film and avoided the disastrous fall into melodrama and it's horribly silly ending, I think it might have been a masterpiece. As it is, I definitely think it's worth renting, but I would have to think twice before buying it. It's certainly not going to be everyone's cup of tea.

5-0 out of 5 stars I'm a guy and even I thought it was great.
Keanu's alleged "wooden-ness" fits his role in this movie perfectly (as a returning WWII vet who saw a lot of death and now is faced with a wife who doesn't understand him and a job he doesn't want).

The music is great too; I went out and bought the soundtrack.

Basically, it's a great romance movie with beautiful scenes, not a bad way to start a Friday evening with your lover. ... Read more


9. Calzonzin Inspector
Director: Alfonso Arau
list price: $19.95
our price: $17.96
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: B00008H2HX
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 49245
Average Customer Review: 3.75 out of 5 stars
US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan

Description

A comdey-of-errors story about a peasant who comes into a corruption-ridden small town geared up for a visit from a federal government inspector.Mistaking the man, Calzonzin, for the Inspector, the crooked local officials fawn on the confused Calzonzin and ply him with bribes.Meanwhile the townfolk want his help.Just after Calzonzin leaves town and the local officials are celebrating, the real government inspector arrives ... Read more

Reviews (4)

2-0 out of 5 stars CENSORED!!!!
I was disappointed with the "Calzonzin Inspector" DVD. It is shorter than the original and, in some point, you miss the pace of the original film that ironicaly, was also projected in open mexican television with minor cuts.

If you want the ORIGINAL "Calzonzin Inspector", don't waste your money until the FULL version appears.

In the other side, the image quality is excelent, but I have the feeling that also the actual audio was censored.

3-0 out of 5 stars 30 minutes shorter than the original
Although this is one of the funniest movies depicting government corruption in Mexico (so accurately in fact that its release was limited and it remained coomercially unavailable until today) this DVD is release is missing many scenes, which is unfortunate. I sincerely hope they release the full 2 hours.

5-0 out of 5 stars Hysterical!
Calzonzin has been my favorite ever since I first went to Mexico as a teenager and discovered the Supermachos comics by "Rius." He has suffered much censorship throughout the years because of his satirical, biting, and true political commentary. Alfonso Arau has done a magnificent job of casting actors that look exactly like the original comic book characters...amazing. If you knew the comics, you'll enjoy this hysterically funny movie even more. I recommend the movie to everyone, it's even safe for kids, with a sometimes slapstick-type humor mixed with sophisticated political commentary you'll catch if familiar with Mexican politics and culture. I've been trying to find a copy to buy for nearly 10 years!
My all-time favorite!

5-0 out of 5 stars A PICTURE OF THE OLD AND CONTEMPORARY MEXICO
A FUNNY DESCRIPTION OF OUR POLITICIANS. PLENTY OF MEXICAN HUMOR.STRANGE THING BUT THIS FILM WAS NOT SENSORATED AS MANY OTHERS. A NICE VIEW FACE TO FACE WITH THE REALITY OF OUR "MEXICO LINDO Y QUERIDO", NOTHING HAS CHANGED ... Read more


10. Calzonzin Inspector
Director: Alfonso Arau
list price: $14.95
our price: $13.46
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: B00016111A
Catlog: DVD
Sales Rank: 49763
Average Customer Review: 3.75 out of 5 stars
US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan

Description

A comedy-of-errors story about a peasant who comes into a corruption- ridden small town geared up for a visit from a federal government inspector. Mistakingthe man, Calzonzin, for the Inspector, the crooked local officials fawn on the confusedCalzonzin and ply him with bribes. Meanwhile the townsfolk want his help. Just afterCalzonzin leaves town and the local officials are celebrating, the real governmentinspector arrives. In Spanish W/ Subtitles Esta es una comedia de errores que relata el cuento de Calzonzin, un campesino que porerror llega a un pueblito corrupto que está esperando la visita de un inspector delgobierno federal. Creyendo queCalzonzin es el Inspector, los corruptos oficiales halaganal confundido campesino y lo colman de sobornos. Mientras tanto, la gente del pueblopide su ayuda. Justo cuando Calzonzin se va del pueblo y los oficiales están celebrando,llega el verdadero inspector. In Spanish W/ Subtitles ... Read more

Reviews (4)

2-0 out of 5 stars CENSORED!!!!
I was disappointed with the "Calzonzin Inspector" DVD. It is shorter than the original and, in some point, you miss the pace of the original film that ironicaly, was also projected in open mexican television with minor cuts.

If you want the ORIGINAL "Calzonzin Inspector", don't waste your money until the FULL version appears.

In the other side, the image quality is excelent, but I have the feeling that also the actual audio was censored.

3-0 out of 5 stars 30 minutes shorter than the original
Although this is one of the funniest movies depicting government corruption in Mexico (so accurately in fact that its release was limited and it remained coomercially unavailable until today) this DVD is release is missing many scenes, which is unfortunate. I sincerely hope they release the full 2 hours.

5-0 out of 5 stars Hysterical!
Calzonzin has been my favorite ever since I first went to Mexico as a teenager and discovered the Supermachos comics by "Rius." He has suffered much censorship throughout the years because of his satirical, biting, and true political commentary. Alfonso Arau has done a magnificent job of casting actors that look exactly like the original comic book characters...amazing. If you knew the comics, you'll enjoy this hysterically funny movie even more. I recommend the movie to everyone, it's even safe for kids, with a sometimes slapstick-type humor mixed with sophisticated political commentary you'll catch if familiar with Mexican politics and culture. I've been trying to find a copy to buy for nearly 10 years!
My all-time favorite!

5-0 out of 5 stars A PICTURE OF THE OLD AND CONTEMPORARY MEXICO
A FUNNY DESCRIPTION OF OUR POLITICIANS. PLENTY OF MEXICAN HUMOR.STRANGE THING BUT THIS FILM WAS NOT SENSORATED AS MANY OTHERS. A NICE VIEW FACE TO FACE WITH THE REALITY OF OUR "MEXICO LINDO Y QUERIDO", NOTHING HAS CHANGED ... Read more


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