Reviews (30)

A sexy parody of the Blair Witch Project? No, not really.
Yes, I should have known better. I stumbled across this film on a movie channel late on night and for some reason thought this might be an interesting parody of "The Blair Witch Project." Four sorority sisters head into the mountains to do a class video project on the legendary Bare Wench. There is Nikki Fritz as Nikki, Julie K. Smith as Chloe, Lorissa McComas as Lori, and Antonia Dorian as Toni. Fritz, star of "A Ferret in My Bathwater" (how on earth did I ever miss that one?) is the lead character here, with more brains than the rest of the group put together, a fact which is proven repeatedly throughout their trip up the mountain. As their faithful idiot companion there is Lenny Juliano as Lunk, who gets ample opportunity to leer at four pairs of bare breasts but not much else. Julie Strain makes an appearance as the title character, who inspires lust in those who dare to climb her mountain, at the film's less than thrilling climax.

There are two reasons for seeing this film and neither one of them really pans out. There are lots of scenes of the girls running around topless and rubbing up against each other, but nothing particularly memorable. The parody elements consist of finding sex toys out in the woods, an obvious twist on the famous camera shot of Heather, and the game of hopscotch. Most of the film is shot with a hand held camera, in the spirit of the original, which at one point when everyone is running screaming through the woods actually made me physicall ill (I am not kidding, it made my head spin). I stuck around for the end to see how lame the final punch line was going to be and discovered that the funniest and best part of the movie are the end credits, which have outtakes of the bonfire scene. It seems that no power on earth or in heaven can get Antonia Dorian to say the line "I used a piece of paper." Watch in amazement as she gets the line wrong time after time, and even when she in the ballpark, she immediately messes up the next line. Finally you hear director Jim Wynroski, having given her the line several times in clipped tones, just laugh and say, "I'm just going to put all of this at the end of the film. It's going to be two-and-a-half hours long." Thankfully, this is not the case.

FYI: Apparently there are sequels to this 1999 film: "Bare Wench Project 2: Scared Topless" (which is, I guess, the same as "Book of Babes: Bare Wench 2) from 2001 and the upcoming "Bare Wench Project 3: Nymphs of Mystery Mountain." Consider this fair warning.

cute girls- bad movie
If you are looking for a few girls to flash their tops for a few seconds and then the camera focusing on this really fat ugly comedic character, this may be the movie for you. The camera is hardly ever on the girls more than a few seconds and the strip scene is ruined by it beinf shot in the dark and through a huge roaring fire. Do not waste your time with this movie. There are much better ones of this genre out there.

Too little action, too much pointless talking.
Bare Wench is another softcore parody of the Blair Witch project (I think there's about two dozen of those things out there). It has 5 very attractive women (which includes Nikki Fritz, Julie Smith, and Julie Strain), and one dorky guy whose only purpose is to provide comic relief.

Okay, so I'm thinking "Cool. Great looking women, having softcore lesbian sex with each other very 10 minutes or so. This should be real good."

Unfortunately, the producers blew it. There is nothing in this video that actually qualifies as a sex scene. There's a couple of false starts, but the majority of the action is just the women posing for the camera. I guess once the producers had spent their money on the women, and spent more getting them to remove their clothes, they didn't have any money left to get them to actually do anything. And I guess they also used up all their alloted nudity time too early, because towards the end of the video, there is a huge amount of pointless dialogue that is obviously being used for no other reason than to pad out the run time. "You're a liar! No you are! You go into the cave! No you go! I think we should go home! Well, I don't!" This goes on and on and on forever.

There's way better stuff than this.

Better than the Original..............
This movie is pure greatness. Every girl has massive breasts and they ain't shy about it. I would have given it 5 stars if it wasn't so stupid. Still you can't deny the allure of naked breasts.
I give it three thumbs up (if you know what I mean)

A half-hearted half-sexy parody of "The Blair Witch Project"
I stumbled across this film on a cable movie channel late one night and for some reason thought this might be an interesting parody of "The Blair Witch Project" (Hey, it could happen). Four sorority sisters head into the mountains to do a class video project on the legendary Bare Wench. There is Nikki Fritz as Nikki, Julie K. Smith as Chloe, Lorissa McComas as Lori, and Antonia Dorian as Toni. Fritz, star of "A Ferret in My Bathwater" (now, how on Earth did I ever miss that one?) is the lead character here, with more brains than the rest of the group put together, a fact which is proven repeatedly through this hike into the mountains. Lenny Juliano is Lunk, their faithful [not too bright] companion, .... Julie Strain makes an appearance as the title character, who inspires lust in those who dare to climb her mountain, at the film's less than thrilling climax.

There are two reasons for seeing this film and neither one of them really pans out. There are lots of scenes of the girls running around [with not much on], but nothing particularly memorable. The parody elements consist of finding sex toys out in the woods, an obvious twist on the famous camera shot of Heather, and the game of hopscotch. Most of the film is shot with a hand held camera, in the spirit of the original, which at one point when everyone is running screaming through the woods actually made me physicall ill. I stuck around for the end to see how [weak] the final punch line was going to be and discovered that the funniest and best part of the movie are the end credits, which have outtakes of the bonfire scene. It seems that no power on earth can get Antonia Dorian to say the line "I used a piece of paper." Watch in amazement as she gets the line wrong time after time, and even when she in the ballpark, she immediately messes up the next line. Finally you hear director Jim Wynroski, having given her the line several times in clipped tones, laugh and say, "I'm just going to put all of this at the end of the film. It's going to be two-and-a-half hours long." Thankfully, this is not the case. "The Bare Wench Project" is strictly a frat party movie, for what that is worth. ... Read more

Reviews (7)

Corman + Wynorski + Lords = Loads of Cheesy Fun
Roger Corman is executive producer and schlock-meister Jim Wynorski is director of 1988's NOT OF THIS EARTH, a campy remake of the campy Corman-directed classic. And in typical Corman style, it offers everything a B-movie fan could want: A goofy tongue-in-cheek plot that is barely more than a re-hash of the original; cheesy special FX, a good number of which were lifted from other Corman films; mediocre acting from some of the supporting cast; and lots of gratuitous female nudity. And also as with most films in which Corman has his hands, it is LOTS of fun to watch.

Gorgeous former hardcore adult-film star Traci Lords--here in her first "legit" starring role and the last role in which she completely disrobes for the camera--portrays a private-care nurse who unwittingly assists an extraterrestrial vampire in draining low-lifes and bimbos of their blood so that he can send the vital red stuff back to the hungry folks on his home planet of Devanna. It doesn't take long, though, before the nurse and her policeman boyfriend (Roger Lodge--yes, THAT Roger Lodge) begin to suspect that something strange and dangerous is going on. But can they solve the mystery quickly enough to save the city's remaining low-lifes and bimbos?

During the shooting and post-production of this film, there was a lot of hullabaloo about Traci Lords being cast in the lead role. Many thought that casting the former star of XXX-rated films was just a gimmick to gain publicity for the project, and while it did indeed do that, Ms. Lords' performance in NOT OF THIS EARTH is top-notch and professional and acquits her of the charges of being nothing more than shapely eye-candy. And for the most part, the other actors do a great job of supporting Ms. Lords. Arthur Roberts--looking like one of THE BLUES BROTHERS (1980)--delightfully parodies the stoic, awkward, out-of-his-element extraterrestrial that has become a sci-fi cliché. As the alien's clueless butler and chauffeur, Lenny Juliano has good onscreen chemistry with star Lords and really hams it up. And actor Ace Mask, playing the doctor who assigns Lords to work with the alien, is delightfully quirky and a real hoot whenever he's on the screen.

The only odd casting choice is that of Roger Lodge for the role of Lords' boyfriend. Filmgoers may recognize Lodge from his gig as host of TV's flaky syndicated dating show BLIND DATE. While Lords' performance in this film demonstrates why she has become a ubiquitous presence on TV and on film, Lodge's performance demonstrates why he's been relegated to hosting a low-brow late-night TV show. Traci Lords and Roger Lodge in bed together? That ineffable mismatch is like something from Lodge's BLIND DATE.

Rumor has it that this film came about as the result of a wager between Corman and Wynorski that the younger director wouldn't be able to shoot an adequate remake if restricted to the same 12-day shooting schedule and a similar budget. Well, Wynorski rose to the challenge and actually succeeded. So yes, this version of NOT OF THIS EARTH is a cheap production with lots of cheap tongue-in-cheek humor, cheap over-the-top performances, cheap FX & recycled film footage, and cheap busty bimbos--not to mention the beautiful and classy Ms. Lords--providing gratuitous eye-popping T&A. Nobody has tried to deny that the film is a cheesefest. But it's a highly entertaining cheesefest nonetheless, and in many ways it is better and more fun than Corman's original.

The DVD treatment of NOT OF THIS EARTH from New Concorde is pretty cool, especially considering that the film itself is a low-budget quickie. The disc offers a nice digital transfer of the film, generally free of filmic or digital artifacts, in what is apparently the film's original aspect ratio of 1.33:1. As for bonus material, an optional feature commentary with director Wynorski and supporting actor Lenny Juliano is a real hoot--often times funnier and campier than the film itself--and Wynorski also manages to relate some interesting and humorous anecdotes regarding the making of the film and points out a few technical errors. Also offered is the requisite original theatrical trailer. All in all, it's a great DVD value.

In short, viewers who love low-budget B-grade SF and horror movies will enjoy the 1988 remake of NOT OF THIS EARTH and will certainly want to add this cool DVD to their collections. (Fans of gorgeous Traci Lords will want to give it a spin, too.) But those who don't comprehend the entertainment value of watching well-crafted schlock should probably spend their money elsewhere.

B Movie gets A Treatment!
NOT OF THIS EARTH was a 1988 remake of a 1950s Corman film which was widely touted as the first legitimate role for Traci Lords after she was exposed having been underage in the porn industry. It's cheesey drive-in fun! Traci and the cast do a good job with what they have, and the production is fun and never takes itself seriously. It's about a space vampire who comes to Earth for blood, and he hires a nurse (Traci Lords) and a manservant to help him out. But they both uncover that he is not what he seems and they try and stop him with some help from their friends. Nudity and cheesey horror abound, but Traci does not get racier than her infamous blue bikini!

The whole thing has b-movie writ large! You can see camera crews reflected in cars, a portrait moves around the house to EVERY room, and inserted footage from other Corman classics (Galaxy of Terror, Humanoids from the Deep) stand out like sore thumbs. But for some reason its a hoot, and very enjoyable. Fans of Traci will love it, and she really shows she can act. Anyone who can make me believe she's a suspicious nurse of a space vampire deserves the Oscar on effort alone! Meryl Streep never did that!

The extra on the DVD is the commentary by Corman veteran director Jim Wyronski. He's so funny on these things - he did a similar good job on the commentary for VAMPIRELLA (another Corman produced movie about a sexy space vampire!). So pop some popcorn and get ready for a cheesey good time.

a great B-movie
Truly amazing how Not of this earth' cheap story can provide such a good, enjoyable and entertaining movie!
The answer lies in the acting of Traci Lords, Lenny Juliano and Arthur Roberts. All of them contribute magnificently to the horror & suspense in this movie. More so, their acting get extra depth by the supportive down-to-earth play by Ace Mask (doctor) and Rodger Lodge (policeman). Add to this a little sex & fun (birthday girl), and the mix of it all makes Not of this earth a real great B-movie.

I tried...Really-to like this movie...
I bought this dvd for 2 reasons.Monique Gabrielle and Jim Wynorski .If not for the audio commentary-it is completely unbearable.Luckily,the one actor who had character was the commentary co-host.After Death Stalker II,I know Mr. Wynorski is/was capable of much more.This was sad really.

This is the gouda of cheesy movies
Jim Wynorski is quite possibly the finest B movie director ever. His Sorority House Massacre II is a masterpiece of slasher horror. Deathstalker II's incredible contrast with the rest of the series pushes a good movie up another notch. Jim W. does it again with Not of this Earth.

The opening scene lasts about 2 or 3 minutes and after seeing it, you just know you are in for a treat. The credits are better than ten other B movies put together. They show an amazing array aliens, space combat, and special effects. The best part is that the credit sequence really has very little to do with the movie you are about to see. That kind of attention to detail is hard to find in big budget movie, and in a B movie it is practically unheard of!

Traci Lords plays a very attractive nurse who is hired to take care of the mysterious Mr. Johnson. Mr. Johnson is does an incredible job as an emotionless alien, and the resulting comedy is priceless (or without value, depending on your point of view). Anyway, I got a kick out of Traci's coworker, Jeremy, the surly bodyguard/driver/cook who wears leather no finger gloves and a nice looking chauffer uniform.

I recommend this movie to any fan of cheesy science fiction. It is entertaining throughout. ... Read more

Reviews (11)

If you like B-movies, this one is sure to entertain
Poison is not a great movie, but it so entertaining that it doesn't matter. Kari Wuhrer plays a young gal whose husband commits suicide after being fired from his job. After learning from her husband's former boss that the company had hired someone to replace him long before he was even fired because he wasn't a good worker, Kari's character snaps (she blames the company for her hubby's death). She then decides to exact revenge; first on the boss guy, and then on the woman who replaced her husband (played by soap star Barbara Crampton).

Poison is dark, sexy, and a lot of fun as well. There are a couple of instances where the acting could be a bit better (such as the Garrett's original housekeeper and their daughter) but Kari Wuhrer and Barbara Crampton make up for that. The pacing is quick, the death scenes well done, and there's enough nudity to please any fan of skin (you eventually see every female character in various stages of undress...although it looked like Ms. Crampton may have used a body double).

The DVD features Audio Commentary from the director, cast bios, original trailer, and photo gallery. The picture in in 1.85:1 widescreen and it is pristine and crystal clear. The audio is offered in 5.1 and 2.0 surround sound. The 5.1 mix is good. Loud where it should be, and the surround channels are used occasionally for emphasis.

Overall, a good choice for purchase or rental.

Scorned - Tweed + Wuhrer = Better Movie
Someone once said that there are only five or six real stories and writers have just been recycling them for the past 10,000 years. Exhibit A: Kari Wuhrer Poison, a pretty-blatant rip off of the Shannon Tweed movie Scrorned.

Ann (WUHRER~!) is seeking revenge for her husband against the Garrett's, a nice, suburban family if ever there was one. She moves in as their nanny and begins to seduce 3/4 of the family. There's the problem right there. I can think of atleast three better ways of getting revenge than letting them have sex with Kari Wuhrer. In fact, that's really more of a reward.

Taking into account that it's a rip-off, it's actually better than the movie it copies. I'll take Kari over Shannon seven days a week and twice on Sunday. The few suspenseful parts are actually suspenseful (the freezer in the garage pops to mind), and the pool scene is the hottest since Phoebe Cates in Ridgemont High.

Kari can do better, but she got her name in the title and that's something usually reserved for John Carpenter. This is not a bad way to spend 90 m. if you can get past the predictability.

Good Movie, but could have been better
This movie is worth being watched only for Kari Wuhrer. If you are a Kari fan, you will see a lot of her in it. Good movie to watch before sleep.

These other reviews are ridiculous
I'm not really sure if everyone else who wrote a review here was watching the same movie I was.
Poison was a terrific blend of suspense, sex, seduction, and revenge. Some more time could have been spent developing the beginning and a few other places, but it is really no big deal in this case.
This movie is the story of a wife out for revenge on the people she deems responsible for her husband's demise. And yeah, they really had it coming to them and it felt good to watch Kari slither in and coldly and decisively do what needed to be done.

Hot Guy
This movie is only good for the sex scene with the hot young guy. I wish I knew what his name was. I liked his line "oh, boy". He has a great face and body, his acting needs a lot of work though. Just to let you know I am a straight teen boy... ... Read more

Reviews (8)

!
A very low-budget but fun movie. Your typical slasher movie. Teens get lost find a cabin and a killer is in the mountains...

not bad for a slasher movie
The plot is ok, there are nudity but not many though. The way the victims died wasnt horrifying at all. I guess my expectation was a little higher.The lovemaking scenes was not erotic though. If u r thinking of buying this movie is best that u might want to skip this one.

Better soft core porn than slasher flick (not a compliment)
Sales for "Cheerleader Massacre" would probably do a lot better if this 2000 direct of video release was listed under some sort of soft porn category into of being labeled a slasher flick. This is supposed to be the four film in the series "The Slumber Party Massacre," which produced films in 1982, 1987, and 1990. In fact, Brinke Stevens is once again playing Linda, her original role in first film. But for some reason the producers decided to trade in the cache, so to speak, of the series title and come up with something different. Is it because they think "Cherrleader" conjurs up more notions of sex than "Slumber Party"? Or is it because they noticed the story here is not about a slumber party? The plot--no, strike that: the setup for the massacre is that five high school cheerleaders to to a cabin the woods for a weekend getaway with their coach (Tamie Sheffield, whom you might recognize from "Fear Factor" in 2001) and a couple of jocks who show up to see what is happening. A crazy guy comes along and starts killing them, but not before we are treated to several scenes involving showers, bubble baths, and chocolate sauce.

The only real question here is whether in the final analysis "Cheerleader Massacre" is a worse example of slasher flick or a soft-core film. There has always been a connection between sex and death in splatter flicks, something we have understood ever since good girl Laurie Strode was the only one of her peer group to get out alive in "Halloween." Even when "Scream" made a point of the heroine not being a virgin, it only reinforced the idea that the subtext for such movies was that bad things happen to young people who have sex. If you think sexually transmitted diseases are bad, then you just wait until some guy with a knife, machette, chainsaw, or whatever comes after you.

But here the sex is way out in front. The only bit of gratuitous cheerleading comes at the start of the film, and even then there are no outfits. From then on there is little wearing of much clothing by these cheerleaders. In the end I have to write this film off more as porn that slasher because the acting is closer to the nadir represented by skin flicks than the wooden and unprofessional performances you often find in splatter flicks, especailly of the direct to video variety. In fact, one of the actresses has made dozens of hard core films. You should be able to pick her out, at which point you will realize that her acting really puts the rest of this cast to shame (which is not a good thing).

If you check this out for blood, guts, and gory, then you are definitely in the wrong aisle. If you are looking for a film with multiple shower scenes, then you may well end up being content with this tacky little film. I guess they could not work "Shower" and "Massacre" into the title, although you would think you would not need a lot of imagination to do that. Finally, if you are really looking for a slasher film with cheerleaders, then you are forced to go check out "Cheerleader Camp."

HOTTIES!
This is well worth buying for the nudity alone! Who cares how cheaply made this movie was! If you want naked babes this should be on the top of your "buy" list. Just don't forget about the deleted scene in the special features.

Are the Cheerleaders Hot? Yes. Is the Movie Good? No.
First off, let me explain that I am an enormous slasher/horror film fan. I can't get enough. I have the entire Slumber Party, Sorority House etc. Massacre series' and am always looking for new additions to my ever growing collection. Also, let me say that sometimes, the cheesier the better and half the reason I watch these movies is to laugh. Now with that being said, let me move on to "Cheerleader Massacre"

This movie was terrible. Plain and simple. Yes there were very hot, very naked women in it. But that is the only redeeming quality. (And the only reason I gave it 2 stars). This movie looks like it was made with a digital video camera. There are pretty much no lighting effects at all. The audio is terrible, the special effects are a joke - and to top it all off, the gore is minimal. Yes, there are a lot of killings, are they boring? - once again, hell yes. Everything about this movie is terrible (except of course for the nudity, which Jim Wynorski never seems to get wrong).

The acting is probably the worst I have ever seen in a film. And I've seen some bad ones. Again, I understand this is a "slasher" film and therefore, having exceptions like the acting and script/plot etc. But this is ridiculous, I could have written a better script on a piece of toilet paper. This movie doesn't even fall into the category of "So bad it's good" it's just...so bad. period.

I understand that everyone loves it because there's a lot of nudity, well, yes there is. However, if the only reason I wanted to watch slasher films was for the nudity, I would just watch a porno. Again, I am a huge fan of this genre and it killed me to have to write a bad review of a Wynorski film, but we have to be honest.

A quick sum up.

Acting: Atrocious in every way (and not in the "good" way)
Plot: Stupid but I guess exceptable.
Script: Garbage
Nudity: Pretty and Plentiful.
Violence/Murders: Some of the dumbest and most uncreative I have ever seen.

Video/Audio: Unexceptable and Terrible.
Overall: Utter Garbage. Do yourself a favor and pick up "House on the Edge of the Park" or the Sorority House/Slumber Party Series. Much better with, if you can believe it, a bigger budget. ... Read more

Description

Everyone's favorite muck-encrusted plant-man is back in this tongue-in-cheek action-adventure, based on the award-winning DC comic series. Determined to solve the mysterious death of her mother, beautiful horticulturist Abigail Arcane ("Spin City's" Heather Locklear) visits her stepfather, Dr. Anton Arcane (Louis Jourdan), in his high-tech laboratory. Unfortunately Arcane is bent on taking her life for the creation of his immortality serum. Coming to her rescue is the former Dr. Alex Holland, now Swamp Thing, who sweeps her away to the heart of the bayou where they soon fall head over heels in love. But their romance goes awry when Arcane ruthlessly hunts down these unlikely lovers with a fiendish array of weaponry! Chock full of witty dialogue, dazzling stunt work and striking special effects, this outrageous action-comedy monster mash also features cult favorites Sarah Douglas (Superman II) and scream queen Monique Gabrielle. ... Read more

Reviews (10)

Lacks the mystery and excitement of the original
"The Return of Swamp Thing" isn't anything like the original movie was. Unlike the original, "The Return of Swamp Thing" isn't exciting and it doesn't have the sense of mystery that "Swamp Thing" had. Swamp Thing tries to keep Abby Arcane (Heather Locklear) safe from her father, Dr. Arcane (Louis Jourdan), who has a plan in mind to kill Abby.

Instead of including some action packed and exciting parts in "The Return of Swamp Thing," the movie instead follows two boys who try to be funny, but they're not funny at all.

Overall, I consider "The Return of Swamp Thing" one of the most disappointing sequels ever made. If you want a good Swamp Thing movie, I'd recommend getting "Swamp Thing" and skipping "The Return of Swamp Thing."

It's a great movie. Swamp Thing is the bomb!!
I think Swamp Thing is cool. He is my favorite movie monster, only in the film, he's not evil. I wish there where more movies on him.

Fairly decent.
Dr.Arcane is back,this time his stepdaughter comes to pay him a visit and hes got plans for her.Of course Swamp Things not going to let him harm her.They fall in love,that's about it.

Okay, some people are missing the point (yet again)
I've read alot of negative reviews for this one, and none of the people writing these reviews really seem to grasp the concept of a Jim Wynorski film. Jim Wynorski makes b-movies, ONLY b-movies, and he makes them well. If you're unfamiliar with what a b-movie is, you should'n't be writing a review for this particular film, but I'll give you some background. Remember those old fifties drive-in films, you know, the kind they play on Mystery Science Theater 3000? Stereo-typical characters, guys in rubber suits playing cheesy monsters, and that special 80's touch up, huge breasts every couple of minutes...these are all elements of the b-movie. You're SUPPOSED to make fun of it. You're SUPPOSED to actually enjoy yourself watching a movie for once.
Return of Swamp Thing is an excellent b-movie, and one of Jim Wynorski's best. It's alot different from the original, but alot better, in my opinion. No disrespect to Wes Craven, but Swamp Thing isn't one of his better films. Not as bad as Scream 2, but it's not quite up to par with his usual films.
If you DID enjoy Return of Swamp Thing, I recommend "Not of This Earth" (1986), "Sorority House Massacre II: Nightie Nightmare", and "Hard To Die".

Cult Classic
One of the classiest cult movies you will ever encounter, one of the best comic adaptations ever made, a million times better than the first one proving the Empire Strikes Back theory that it is possible to make a superior follow up. If you are a cult comic/movie fan do yourself a favour and invest the 20 bucks or whatever it is to own this masterpiece. ... Read more

Reviews (4)

killing robots!!!
The movie is very great. The mall gets hit by lighting and then is when the robots start to take over.Some kids have a party in the mall in the night.one by one the kids start to die!! The robots/killbots are alive. If you like the movie,look out for the remake of it!!!!!

Fast Moving Scary Film!
This movie turned out to be very exciting and entertaining as
well. A group of young people sneak into a shopping mall to stay all night. The security in the mall is handled by some mobile robots. These robots malfunction and begin killing the teenagers who are in the mall.These security robots even shoot lasers with their eyes.The special effects used on the robots make them even
more menacing.The night of fun turns into a night of total horror
thanks to the out of control robots. This is a very scary and a
very fast paced movie. The action in this movie is nonstop as well. This is a movie that you will enjoy.

Classic Slasher Flick....With Laser Shooting Robots!?! What?
Picture Dawn of the Dead with the horde of zombies replaced with three homicidal security robots....OK, so it's not that cool, but still entertaining nonetheless.

At least this movie has the 80's slasher movie staples: teenagers, beer, nudity, and killers. Although, I would have enjoyed this movie more if the killer was a homicidal janitor or crazy drifter. The robots add a science fiction element to this movie that should not have been done. I was really enjoying some of the creative killings in this movie until the robots started shooting lasers from they 'eyes'. Pretty far fetched for 2003, forget 1985.

But all in all it still manages to fit in well with the 80's horror genre, and bravo to the makers for taking a chance on this one. If you like 80's slasher flicks (even if it is just for the flagrant nudity and the 80's nostalgia), then you will like this one too, just dont forget to grab a sixer and a pizza.

"Thank you, Have A Nice Day"
Quotes the mall security robot after blowing apart a womans head after being caught in the shopping mall after closing time. This movie is a great edition to anyones collection of low budget horror films of the eighties. In "Chopping Mall", a shopping centre purchases new security robots in order to keep the mall safe from intruders. However, a group of friends decided to hide out in the shopping centre one night and have a big party. Little do they know that the robots are malfunctioning and start to run rampage around the mall, killing everyone they encounter. The special effects are top notch for the year it was made and the one liners the robots have are extreamly funny. Unfortuantly, the movie runs out of steam towards the end, however the shear coolness (is that a word) of the robots make this movie a definite 4 star rating. ... Read more

Description

Five beautiful starlets are summoned to the mansion of Count Byron Orlock for a seminar on horror moviemaking, but sinister events indicate a more diabolical plan: to get the actresses undressed for a Scream Queen Hot Tub Party with reenactments of their most vivid monster movie experiences! Join the finest gang of scream queens ever assembled as they run, scream, and take long showers with plenty of mutual soaping! In One Million Heels B.C., a Los Angeles earthquake frees a prehistoric cavegirl (Michelle Bauer) who finds her way to the house of two strippers (Jerica Fox of the Boobsy Twins and Cierra Knight) who teach this primitive babe how to dance for a dollar; From legendary cult directors Fred Olen Ray (Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Biohazard, Dinosaur Island) and Jim Wynorski (The Return of Swamp Thing, Vampirella, Chopping Mall); Sizzling scream queen star power! Michelle Bauer (Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-a-Rama, Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold, The Frightening) Brinke Stevens (Haunting Fear, Mommy, Nightmare Sisters) Monique Gabrielle (Amazon Women on the Moon, Evil Toons, Transylvania Twist) Kelli Maroney (Night of the Comet, Not of This Earth, Servants of Twilight) Roxanne Kernohan (Critters 2, Fatal Pulse, Angel III). ... Read more

Reviews (4)

Scorned was alot better
Even the unrated version of this movie was a disapoinment.All of the "special" scenes were either slow,or broken up with parts of other stuff happening in the movie.If you really want to see Tweed at her sexiest,see "Scorned"!

Marcia Clark, Eat Your Heart Out!
Okay, so this is hardly TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD... you're not watching this video for high courtroom drama, but Playboy model-turned-actress Shannon Tweed turns in her now-regular well-curved exposure, while escaping the clutches of the D.A., expertly played by a real actress, Elaine Giftos. Worth seeing if not believing.

Like a cold shower
A fairly decent story.If you were expecting to see a lot of nude Tweed you will however be disapointed.The sex scenes are very contrived and as sexy as dried cow dung.Ms Tweed is still a great looker but the bod is going!!!!

Let's be realistic
I'm pretty sure that if you rent this movie, you generally understand what is instore, after all, it is the fourth movie in the series, and hopefully you are not starting with the fourth movie in the series. If you are renting this movie, you hopefully looked at the box and read the movie title, and because you rented it, you are looking to see some hot sex and T&A. This movie will not let you down, as you get to see the industry's best in one of her sexiest performances ever. This movie delivers at that level, which is probobly all you care about. If you are looking for character and plot development, you should get out of the mystery section of the videostore, because neither this video, nor most other's in the genre are for you. However, I think if you are renting this movie to see some great soft-core sex scenes, you'll get you're money's worth. ... Read more

Reviews (1)

For good, sleazy fun, check this fun T&A-fest out!!
I was never a huge fan of the first "Body Chemistry" and this made me not want to see the first sequel. However, I was intrigued by this entry into the already rather bland series (as erotic thrillers go, they're a tease at best, since they don't come in UNRATED editions), not only for the presences of Andrew Stevens (the hottie king of erotic smut) and Morgan Fairchild, but for the plot.

For those who don't know (and there are probably a lot who fit that category), "Point of Seduction's" plot revolves around a TV Producer named Alan Clay (Stevens) and his wife Beth Chaney (Fairchild), a soap star on a trashy nighttime soap called "Empire." Beth is looking for a magnum opus role for TV that her fans will truly remember her for, while Alan wants a production he can really sink his teeth into.

Alan hires an aspiring writer named Freddie(?) to write a script about the story of Dr. Clare Archer, a possible sociopathic radio psychiatrist who has been stalked by two of her former lovers. These supposed stalkings resulted in both their deaths. Of course, these are the two previous entries in the series.

Clare (this time played by Sherri Sattuck) objects at first, but after a night of steamy lovemaking with Alan in a hotel room after the power goes out, she gives into his ideas. And the usual trouble ensues. Is she a temptress in distress, or a heartless, bitchy murderess (gasp!)

It was SO much fun watching this corny flick, because the actors try to be so serious, but instead are wooden, melodramatic, and ultimately unconvincing. But it was intentional, to an extent, I'm sure. Also, the film was made by classic smut jockey Jim "Remove Your Tops, Please, Ladies!" Wynorski, who gave the late-night direct-to-video crowd other "gems" such as "Sorceress," and "Sins of Desire."

Soap fans will undoubtedly enjoy this, as it is a tighter 90-minute version with a LOT of flesh you'll never see on TV!

Overall rating: *** out of *****. ... Read more

Reviews (10)

The greatest movie EVER
Due to some for of nostalgia, I have been on a recent kick of searching for all the 80's Sword and Sorcery movies as of late. My favorite rediscovery so far (Excluding the Conan films because their budgets were too high) was Deathstalker II. This movie has absolutely EVERYTHING you could ever want in a movie: Violence and Bloodshed, Amazons, T&A, cheesy one liners, and is excessively degrading to women. In the sequel, Deathstalker isn't some muscle-man, just some guy with a sword. He's not ripped, in fact he's got a bit of a gut (just a bit) which adds to the realism of the movie, except when it is all ripped away by the extras such as Ivan the terrible's henchmen expelled for excessive brutality sitting alongside one of Atilla the hun's former soldiers. The Pig-headed warrior also makes a return cameo, and a cheesy score that Manowar would be proud of. infuriate your girlfriend by getting this movie! Now its on DVD. I have died and gone to Valhalla....

Sword and Sorcery Camp and More Camp
One can only think that Sam Raimi is a fan of this movie as he seems to have copied much of the camp from this film. Once the camp has been removed, Deathstalker II is mostly a collection of clips lifted from the first movie.

Deathstalker is out plying his thieving trade when he happens on a seer who seems to be more trouble than she is worth. You know the tone of the film when the seer asks him if Deathstalker is his first or last name.

What plot there is consists of Deathstalker being convinced to help the seer return to her throne, one occupied by a sorcerous double.

Along the way we get profession wrestling with a giant Amazon, the attack of the shuffling zombies, plenty of scenes from the first movie, lots of bad jokes, anachronisms galore, heaps of nudity, and a few truckloads of camp.

As this was not the serious film that the first was, it is more successful in its goal. Just imagine a Bruce Campbell King of Thieves movie (except most of the wisecracks come from the seer) and you will get an idea of what to expect. It's fun. Really.

Best of the genre, a low-budget masterpiece
One of the most enjoyable motion pictures ever made,
making excellent repeat viewing.

There are three kinds of director's commentaries:
1) where they talk about the miracles they were able
to perform because they had an infinite budget (e.g.,
Lord of the Rings), 2) where they talk about how they
got impressive results on a limited budget (e.g.,
Wishmaster), 3) where they make fun of what they had
to do because they had no budget. Deathstalker 2 is
of the third type and is hilarious. If you only have
time to watch the show once, see it with the commentary.

Like the Hercules TV series, one of the main themes is
seeing how many anachronisms they could incorporate
(not including unintentional ones like the tire at the
dump and the car parked by the village of the Amazons).

Another theme is seeing how many other movies and TV
shows they could pay homage to. Some are obvious and
many more are pointed out in the commentary. Watch for
scenes, themes and dialog borrowed from Conan, Raiders
of the Lost Ark, Bugs Bunny, The Flintstones, It Happened
One Night, Goldfinger, John Wayne westerns, Danny Thomas,
Warner Bros. cartoons, Hawaii 5-O, Rambo, spaghetti
westerns, Night of the Living Dead, Abbott and Costello,
Mae West, Forbidden Planet, Quick Draw McGraw, The Mouse
that Roared, Rocky, Laugh-In, The Pit and the Pendulum,
and The Patty Duke Show.

"Is that your first name or your last name?"
Deathstalker II RULES!!!!
It's the best low-budget, comedy, fantasy T&A filled epic EVER.
But enough about the film, we all know that's great, onto the DVD.
The picture quality is fine, although it's best to turn the brightness up on your tv as it's quite dark(this isn't the DVD's fault I have a brighter VHS version but it just seems faded).
This is not cropped so you get to see the full picture, cars and spare tires too.
Audio, addiquate, gotta love that deathstalker II theme.
Extras:

The audio commentary is informative and funny, you really think this movie was fun to make, it has a trailer to.
Bad Points:
It would have been nice if this had had a multistream option like the T2 disc. So you could choose between the normal version and the Director's Cut. What this would mean is that the disc would skip the clips of DS1 and Barbarian Queen and the extra long fight footage to make it a more concise viewing experience. Although not having this option isn't worth dropping a star as you still get to see everything but have to skip the bits yourself. More out-takes would have been nice, but I guess you'll have to live with the ones in the credits.

80's sword&socery
Looks can be deceiving. Be warned. Despite the serious look of the cover poster this is a comedy! And right after the very serious 1st movie. They want you to recognize the scenes as ripoffs from other movies. The jokes are bad. It gets better I put the DVD on commentary and the director and John(Deathstalker)make fun of the whole thing. The director says "OK see that cystal ball, thats realy a broken doorknob someone found." "And if you look to the top left of your screen you can see a parked car." Even if fans didn't ever see the car wouldn't you want to keep that under wraps. The director even admits to changing the oringinal script to a comedy. However the swordfight at the end of the movie is very good. It brings back the real charachter of DS and he doesn't crack one joke during it. They have to do the movie some justice. ... Read more

Reviews (5)

For Fans Only
Unless you are a hard-core Roger Corman or Jim Wynorski fan, stay away from this movie, especially the DVD version. It is in 4:3 format, and obviously taken from the VHS tape master. Very, very poor video quality.

It's also just a dreadfully boring movie. At just over 80 minutes long, it feels like it's twice that long. You know a movie is bad when the commentary track is more interesting than the movie itself.

For those of you who read the previous reviews, and might be interested because you think you are going to see "all" of Nicole
Eggert - sorry to disappoint you, but she uses a body double in those scenes. Don't feel bad, though; hopefully I just saved you from wasting your time and/or money on this movie.

A movie for Nicole Eggert's fan
The movie is a classical horror movie but it is entertaning. It is quite good if you are a fan of the gorgeous Nicole Eggert because she plays two roles, the mother Morella and the daughter Lenora (main character). A must-have for every Nicole Eggert's fan (I am)!

Good Tongue in Cheek Horror Flick
I was pleasently suprised by this classically gothic little horror film. Like all films that Roger Corman has either produced or directed this one is a little overplayed; but there is an element of style throughout. The Corman standards are here: naked, big-busted, serving wenches, the damsel in distress, the young hero, and some genuinely disturbing horror scenes. The sets are atmospheric and the writers of the movie have expanded on Edger Allen Poe's tragic perspective that filtered through most of his poetic works like Annabel Lee and the Raven. Not to be taken too seriously but nicely done. Nicole Eggert is perfectly cast as Lenora as has never been more beautiful. David McCallum does a splended job as her "haunted" father. All in all a good effort on a small budget.

A must see for Nicole Eggert fans
This film is an opportunity to see ALL of Nicole when she was just blosssoming into the "actress" she is today. Her performance on-screen is something not to be missed!

The Worst Movie Ever Made
I rented this movie for 99 cents, and I think I was ripped off even at that price.

The acting was terrible, the plot predictable and boring. The only thing that I enjoyed was this nightgown that the lead character wore, and even then it was out of place, seeming more like it was there for the "skin" and to make the character more sexy than for plot development. Edgar Allan Poe was claimed as the person who wrote the story, and he is probably rolling over in his grave, this movie is so horrible! Everything is out of place and/or ridiculous. The lead character hops into bed as soon as she falls in love, which was NOT done at that time. Nudity was frequently done to "save" the movie, but if this movie were to do that every time this movie needed a boost the characters would be nude the entire way through.

Needless to say, this movie stank. If it's not worth paying 99 cents to rent it, it's not worth buying, unless you like to rag on bad movies, which it is perfect for. ... Read more

Reviews (2)

Big Bad Mama II, not what you were looking for
If you were hoping for a skin flick, this is not it. A couple of minutes of long shots of the young girls swimming topless and one real nice look at Julie McCullouh (...), in bed, is not enough too qualify. The acting is awful. Angie looks great for her age. Still not enough.

Good Entertainment
This does not live up to the first Big Bad Mama, despite havingsome of the same gun-fight scenes spliced in. Angie Dickinson in fulltheatrical make-up while doing laundry on the range is a must-see, however, as is Culp narrating her plight on the radio all alone in the desert. Of course, Angie's daughters, one played by a much-grown up Danielle Brisbois, miss no opportunity to frolick in the nude. Interesting, funny, and sometimes insightful. Angie does not disappoint! END ... Read more

Reviews (6)

DRAGGIN THE DRAGON
CURSE OF THE KOMODO is not one of the worst movies I've seen, in fact it's a lot better than some of my colleagues avow. However, the problem is the script; it takes too much time with dialogue when we should have more komodo action. Tim Abell, usually fun to watch, underplays his role so much he comes across as bored. William Langlois as the responsible scientist isn't gung ho enough; Melissa Brasselle and Gail Harris are almost interchangeable and don't seem as frightened as they should be; Jack Logan looks great in his muscle shirt, but he needs to work on his acting abilities. It's derivative and incoherent, but the special effects are actually pretty good 95% of the time. I found it entertaining, worth a rental at least.

Extremely dumb movie with some Russ Meyer style twists.
I'll only hype up the few fine points in this one. Russ Meyer style woman, decent CGI Komodo Dragons.
OK I will also include what this movie lacks. A good screenplay. "Curse of the Komodo" should be called "Curse of the Dodo," as in Dodo bird because this film is dumb and completly lacks everything that makes a good movie, except for the Russ Meyer type of ladies. O ya there is a blatant nude scene just because there can be. The nude scene is the pretty long and enjoyable to watch. Beware, watch this only for laughs and please don't expect much of anything.

Really Dumb Scientists -- Even Dumber Movie
There is an island where scientists are running studies and tests in the hope of increasing the world's food supply. What makes the scientists dumb? 1) They are doing the experiments for the Department of Defense. 2) To reach their goals they are creating giant Komodo dragons (one of nature's greatest consumers). 3) A military test is run on the island and they are defeated by the dragons and the scientists say the experiment is not ready for that stage (how does this increase food supplies?).

The general in charge has to make some tough decisions regarding the project. The scientists in charge return to the island (why weren't they there to begin with?). To complicate things, some civilians in the form of casino robbers arrive on the island. They robbed an unusual casino, one that was thriving but had a parking lot completely empty except for their getaway car.

The Komodos are in charge of the island, there is no fuel for the electric fence (really just a series of sticks with lights on top) and the scientist's daughter is also his niece (small glitch in the script there). The trick is to get off the island without being eaten, being infected by the Komodo's saliva, or getting blown up by the military.

One thing that I will say in favor of the movie and that is the ending was better than I expected. The real ending that is and not the closing teaser. This one is really only for film gourmands or possibly at a party.

This movie stinks!
Why? Every "plot" element is stolen from other movies, the actors/actresses can't act (depend on their physical charms, instead), the writing is horribly predictable, the special effects are laughable (and that's kind), and the air strike at the end has different aircraft every few seconds thanks to the use of stock footage.
Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE bad movies and giant monster
movies like "Alligator" or "Lake Placid," but this should just be flushed down the bowl, it's so bad.
If you buy this creation, you have only yourself to blame now.

More than just a waste of time
This movie is not about a giant lizard. It's about how endless the world's supply of bullets is.

When we are first introduced to the giant komodo, two characters start to shoot at it. Then a third character arrives and joins in. Eventually they get in a truck and drive away, shooting at the komodo as it pursues them. The komodo gets bored and leaves. That night the komodo attacks them and they shoot it. The komodo eats one and leaves. When the characters leave their fortress to get to a helicopter they get attacked by the komodo. They shoot at it. The komodo eats one, kills another, and leaves. Then, when they reach the chopper, the komodo attacks. Guess what they do?

ok...

LISTEN MOVIE PEOPLE! You have been shooting nonstop at this thing for the past hour and a half, and it doesn't even seem to mind! So when you start shooting at it now, I sincerely doubt it is going to do ANY THING! This movie was boring not because of plot or storyline, but because most of it is just people standing around shooting at a CG monster. Yay!

By the way, what is the deal with bad movies and actresses with strange accents? Is that some thing they teach at film school or is it just an annoying trend in films? One character in this movie goes from having an Australian accent to an American one to a Dutch one and then back to being Australian. One female character doesn't have a weird accent persay, but she looks like Hugo Weaving reliving his role from "Priscella, Queen of the Desert." Oh yeah, and why were all the women blonde?

But I digress, this movie is just one big waste of bullets. Heck, they even waste a perfectly good .44 automatic bullet in the end when the general kills himself. Tsk tsk! ... Read more

Reviews (8)

Munch on this
Munchie can make pizzas fly down the street. They found munchie in some box hidden away in a mine or something. Jennifer Love-Hewit is in this. So is Loni Anderson. This is a heartwarming tale of a kid who finds Munchie, then gets springboarded to popularity. Munchie is cool. He looks stupid, and when he talks, his hands twirl around. Watch this movie late late at night with friends, you'll laugh your head off. That one big guy from Canonball run is Munchies voice.

Sometimes You Have To Help People In Spite of Themselves!
Munchie is one of the best movies ever! Every time I see it I melt with pleasure for the inguinitive genius which Munchie gives my soul. I'm writing this review after seeing Munchie, the best movie of eternity of particles which float upon this planet in the cosmic galaxy, and Supertroopers which is the worst movie ever to have even been thought of eternity of particles which float upon this planet in the cosmic galaxy. I saw Supertroopers and my mind turned to mush. The only thing that kept our sanity was the fact that we had just purchased Munchie so we could enjoy the best movie of eternity of particles which float upon this planet in the cosmic galaxy whenever our hearts desired to do so. Who knew that you could buy: the fountain of orgasmic, mind-expanding, experimental, kitten-loving, grizzly old man kitten loving, Waking Life loving, Audrey Taotou (Amiele)loving, Incubus in Esperanto starring William Shantering loving, Matt and Charlieing, not DaNthonying, electric shocking, rocking, I'm only mocking, To Kill a Birdmocking, frocking, putting in the clocking Signs blocking, Importance of Being Jocking, Glee Clubing, and doneking, youth experience at Family Video for just $4.33!
First and foremost everyone in particles which float upon this planet in the cosmic galaxy should see this movie because you will love it, you will love the 70's, the green glowing while talking, Gage's fantasying, the hello my baby hello my darling, the pizza flying, the alien and kid partying, the grade changing, the locker beating, the Munchie tricking, Munchie's Operation: Desert Storm-a-ing, the partying with a keg-a-ing, the car-a-flying, the arresting, the open ending for a sequeling, and the Matt and Charlie applauding and last but not least, the sequel writing!
In conclusion, we believe we will leave with the sweet thought in your mouth that Munchie is God's gift to the particles which float upon this planet in the cosmic galaxy, if you have seen Munchie, God Bless YOU and if you haven't seen Munchie, I wish you a pleasureing journey (SpaceFans) through the land of Munchieville!

Munch-tastic!
Back in those magical halycon days that are known as the "Mid-80's," a movie about a species of ghouls run amuk from late-night snacking was released to the North American public. That movie was Gremlins. It was quickly embraced by the public as a masterpiece and subsequently became a well-loved and undeniable classic. Not surprisingly, other movie companies and producers, seeing the huge success of Gremlins, were anxious to get in on the action and "munch" a piece of the lucrative cinematic pie. A whole slew of movies about small, terrifying, bloodthirsty, yet cute, cuddly critters inundated the public. The most popular of these was Ghoulies--like Gremlins, a trilogy. Until 1992, Hollywood and the public mistakenly thought that this genre was dead. But then came Munchie, which set movie-making special effects back at least twenty-years. In many ways, Munchie was both a spring-board for the actors involved and a coup d' grace. As you may already know, this was Jennifer Love Hewitt's first movie. And it may have been Loni Anderson's last. After Munchie, not even network televsion was willing to cast Amderson in a saturday night made-for-tv flick. Dom Deloise, who lent his fresh wit and unmistakeable voice to Munchie, was little affected in the way of his carrer. It seemed that he was too far removed from the American public's mind. After all, he hadn't appeared to a mass-audience since he occupied one of the squares on Hollywood Squares. That was some time ago. I don't believe that, at the time of its release, the public was ready for Munchie. Despite its painfully obvious influences, in many ways it was ahead of its time. The flying pizza--not "pizza's" as was claimed on the back of the video box--the parties, the antics, the hijinx, the pranks, and, above all, the love and friendship, all presaged the New Age movement that's presently sweeping the country. It was no accident that the character Munchie played an active role in the formation of nearly every ancient society's mythology and mores--as was touched base on in the film. Not-so-special and yes, even deplorable, effects aside, Munchie was a masterpiece, it was an example of the power of straight-to-video releases. Despite its technical flaws, Munchie was a testament to the power of humanity and love, and a pleasant reminder that we should all make an effort to look beyond the superficial and the venner, and that beneath these lies the essentials of life: love, happiness and understanding.

I loved it!
Not only is Jennifer Love Hewitt in it, its a great movie for everybody. I give it two enthusiastic thumbs up!

Excellent!
This is the greatest movie I have ever seen. The laughs just kept on a comin'. You should definitely buy this great one. ... Read more

Description

Pandora: a top secret experimental U.S. military peacekeeping device with the capacity to destroy organic matter while leaving inorganic matter unharmed. When Pandora is stolen by renegade commando Bill Stenwick (Richard Tyson), John Lacy (Daniel Baldwin) is sent to recapture it. Lacy is the smartest, toughest agent from Secret Operations, and he also happens to be Stenwick's former mentor. When these two adversaries face off against each other, the fate of the world hinges on the outcome. DVD includes additional footage. Daniel Baldwin, Erika Eleniak, Richard Tyson ... Read more

Reviews (1)

Nothing I haven't seen better countless times before
The sole reason I watched that movie was that I usually like Daniel Baldwin's acting regardless of the quality of the film he's in. Afterwards I felt severely let down.

The plot is a sorry mix of what made up a couple of first-rate and lesser action movie these past years: a disappointed special agent turns, steals an ultra-secret army device which disintegrates people but not buildings and takes a city hostage. Still do-goody ex-partner tries to get device back and kill baddie with a James-Bond-like license issued by more-secret-than-secret inner government circles.

Can it get more cliched? No. And the oneliners, the distractors (must all would-be wives be silly non-supportive chicks who make you wonder why a 'super-hero' even is interested enough for marriage?) and the other characters are even more cliched.

This movie is a lot like zapping wildly through a couple of channels all showing direct-to-video action flicks. You know every action and reaction, the special FX are from the can or look like US army ads, the plot has twists which are telegraphed a mile ahead and the absolutely ridiculous car chase at the end is the lowest common denominator of them all.

I might have excused all this if I'd liked the acting, if there had been 'some' spark, some thing genuine and distinct in that movie. The impression however was of actors just moving through the set for the money, uncaring, not directed -- animated GI Joe and Co. show more acting ability.

The whole feel is tired, pre-fab, uncaring. Not recommended. ... Read more

Reviews (8)

Can I give it NO stars?
One of the worst movies on which I've had the misfortune of wasting money. Not all the Baldwin boys have talent OR taste OR even self-esteem. I can't believe anyone would admit to being in such an amateurly acted, poorly written and unprofessionally produced conglomeration of scenes.

PLEASE don't waste your money.

mdp
I didn't even watch all of this movie because it was so bad. The one thing i did notice in the opening rescue scene was that most of the footage was from the 1990 Charlie Sheen movie Navy Seals which is a much better movie.

Desert Thunder.........BOOM!
I guess most of the other reviewers dont know good clean action when they see it.
I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Good cast, story, special effects.
No rampant sex (for a change)
No gory scenes (for a change)
A kind of laid back enjoyment.
Try it again.
It is kind of an update of Flight of the Intuder!

I would like 87 minuets of my life back.
This movie was the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. It had no plot and no story line. The actors were terrible and so were the special effects (all in consideration that the movie was made in 1998).

If it is posible I would like to ask the director for the 87 minuets of the my life back, that I wasted watching that stupid movie. (I even hate the name "Desert Thunder")

I would like 87 minuets of my life back.
This was the worst movie I have ever seen. I am very suprised that it is still being manufactured, because it is the worst move ever. It had no plot, no story line, and the special effect were terrrible.

If it is posible I would like to ask the director for the 87 minuets of my life, that I wasted watching that stupid movie. ... Read more

Reviews (7)

A B-Budget version of "Backdraft" & "City On Fire."
"Ablaze" was actually a pretty decent film! I mean, sure it had its plot holes, its mistakes, and its obviously stolen stock footage, but, for a disaster and/or hospital chaos (a la "E.R."), this film will (for the most part) keep you on the edge of your seet (somewhat). As with most, if not all of Jay Andrew's (AKA Jim Wynorski) B-films, the description on the back of the case has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the film at hand, and i do mean nothing! It seems to describe Ron Howard's "Backdraft" in the description, even though i actually liked this film nore than Howard's much nore famous catalyst, if you will, for this type of movie (also having its plot ripped off for the Hong King film, "Lifeline" which is available here at Amazon).

The film itself begins with a really pointless car chase of a mad bomber(?) who ends up being shot by one of the main characters (the captain of a fire department) who is on a stakeout with Jay Andrew's good B-Movie friend, Ice-T, whom, for some odd reason always seems to pop up in one of Andrew's films, why? I havn't a clue. Anyway, the bad guy catches fire (he does not spontaneously combust like some believe, the poeple that catch fire actually do have reasons why) and he burns to death in a park.

Then we go into learning about the characters, like Tom Arnold, who plays the greedy oil/gas refinery owner who is illegaly dumping(?) gasoline into the sewer system of what appears to be Los Angeles (though we actually never do know the city's true name, but the opening shot is one of downtown LA). Arnold's character has also built a hospital at the end of a cultasac and it is understaffed, under budgeted, and run by a truely evil woman, but one doctor is determined to do what's to help a low-income woman have her baby, and later on save the lives of everyone in the hospital. The fire captain has a brother whom he dislikes (for a certain reason) and the brother is an undercover agent seeking to find out the truth behind Wendel Mays' (Arnold's character) bribery and corruption.

Mays' refinery then dumps a large load of gasoline into the sewer system of the city and then the refinery catches fire from a welder's torch and catches everything on fire. The Mays Hospital is the only one near to take burn victims but gets cut off by a firestorm that theatens to blow up the whole city block (which looks like a street in New York City). The same traffic shots w/ fire in the far off distance is used over and over to show that the city is, well...ablaze! As well as a cheap special fx shot of a skyscraper exploding due to the whole sewer system catching fire. So now the city is in "flames" and the hospital must evactuate everyone down a burning street, where many meet their ends.

This film is pretty merciless in killing off its characters (just like in the great 1970's Irwin Allen films), even the nice Cathy Lee Crosby who is a kind and sweet television actress (combining the "Bewitched" and "I Dream of Genie" stars together, for this film) and she tries to make a run for it (whether to be the guinea pig to test it out, or because she just wants to save herself) and she catches fire and burns to death. Then falling debris kills some people and some stupid nurse opens a closet that has fire on the other side and the backdraft that unsues torches the poor girl, tisk, tisk, tisk, didn't she watch "The Towering Inferno" or "Backdraft"?

The movie was made with obvious stock footage from the 1970's, which I actually enjoy! Especially since "City On Fire" is an extremely hard to find film. "City On Fire" is a Leslie Neilson and Ava Gardner 1979 disaster film where a disgruntled oil refinery (or chemical plant) employee purposely catches the city on fire and a threatened hospital must evacuate its occupants, hey that sounds kinda familiar... Anyway, this film was pretty decent and much better than Andrew's previous fiascos like "Final Voyage" and... uh...you know that one with Ice-T in it.

FIRED UP
I have to admit, I must be a kind of sucker for these disaster type films. I have long admired firefighters for the great risks and macho savvy they always show in rea